Fun With Guns: Never Mix Fire With Dumb
Let’s say you’re playing around on Twitter and come across this.
You’re likely to think, “I bet there’s a good story behind that.”
And you would be right. It’s Missouri.
A man, whose name is never revealed in the news reports but I would be willing to bet is Bubba, was burning trash in a field. The fire got out of control, as fires are apt to do, and this good citizen went to work to put it out.
Disregarding water as method of fire extinguishing, Bubba decides to drive his van back and forth over the fire to put it out. I have no idea where Bubba learned this was a safe way to put out a fire, but I am pretty certain it wasn’t in a school of any sort.
When Bubba’s tires catch fire, he gets the idea that maybe this isn’t safe, especially when he remembers that his van is loaded with ammo and a full tank of gasoline. Well, I do not know what they call that in Missouri, but a fire with gas and ammo in Texas is called, “Hoooooooly cow, Bertha! Look at that crap.”
When the police arrive, they find Bubba “watching the fire from a distance,” which was the only smart thing Bubba did all day.
The end is always the best and this story does not fail.
The deputy did not immediately cite the owner, who declined to make a report for a possible insurance claim.
“It seems like he’s just going to have to take a loss on that vehicle because I don’t think they’re going to cover it,” Bazzano said.
Not unless you can get insured against self-dumbness.
Thanks to Mike for the heads up.
Don’t let this get out so Texas Bubba gets ideas.
1Don’t know what the premium is for “Foolish-Ignorant Insurance”, but I suspect it is high.
2So here’s some inescapable Texas fire logic given freely to Missouri’s fire scorched Bubba.
Texas fire departments with large rural grasslands in their jurisdictions deploy a vehicle called a “grass truck”. It has an enormous gravity water take and a couple hundred feet of one inch rubberized water hose. That hose is a couple hundred feet long so the rural firefighter, who may be alone upon arrival at fireground, does not have to park his truck with its large fuel tank near the hot fire. This is genius I know, but some Texans are like that!
3Ohhhhh crap
water take = water tank
Keyboards still bedevil me. Daily.
4About 35 years ago, I lived in a rural section of Illinois. It was not uncommon to see someone “burning ditches” which meant setting the ditch on fire to clear out the weeds and such so that the ditch could allow water to flow through it. I recall one person who thought he had parked his truck far enough away but the fire burned along the ditch to the truck, caught the tires on fire (and tires burn really, really well — so well that an old tire was often used to start a fire under a pile of brush or a piece of a tire would be added to the wood stove to get things going), then the gas tank went up and the brand new 2 month old truck was roasted like a marshmallow.
5Moron Insurance! High premiums for the terminally incompetent.
6There’s insurance for just about everything, so there must be some moron insurance company willing to toss the dice.
@Don A Same in Colorado. Farmer there let one get out of control and called the fire department. Dispatcher asked “How do we get to your pkace?” Farmer said, “Don’t you still have those big red trucks?” Devil made me say that.
7How old is Bubba and how did he manage to get that old?
Let’s start with “burning trash in a field” as the first stated mistake that Bubba made that day. I bet there were others earlier. Getting out of bed may have been the first one.
8Thanks! I never heard of a grass truck.
9I did hear a good story once upon a time. And it is true because I watched it.
One day not long after we’d moved from Long Island to a ranch on the boundaries of Taylor and Nolan County and had more to learn than any normal person oughta hafta learn in one lifetime, I was goin’ to town. I went up to the Interstate and looked down and saw a fire burnin’ along the railroad. This was before cell phones were common, so I just tootled along to town, loosely speaking (town) and stopped at the local gas and grocery. I ran inside, staying calm and said “There’s a fire on the railroad out west of here.” Somebody said “Oh.”
“Isn’t anyone gonna go see about it?”
“Well, the mayor keeps the key to the fire truck on a nail in her kitchen and I don’t think she’s home.”
I was starting to get nervous. “Well, what’re we gonna do? Should we call another fire department?”
“Nah.”
“You’re not gonna DO anything?”
“Nah. We’ll just let it burn out.”
And they did.
The KC Star has disabled comments to its story. Pity!
10I repeat, Missouri is bound and determined to emulate all our crazy cousins. I’m sad to say, Texas had better look out, our crazy is gaining on y’all!
11Since this guy has (had) ammo, I’m guessing he also has guns.
He shouldn’t.
12I used to live near Clay County and worked in and around it for about 20 years. So I can, with some certainty, assure you that yes, his name is Bubba.
As to what it is called, you’re right about that, too, except for one minor detail. It’s actually, “Hoooooooly cow, Bertha! Look at that crap! Grab the kids an’ RUN!” Because, in most cases, this is a family affair.
The family that does stupid stuff together – – – regularly almost immolates together.
13LynnN, Bubba sounds like he might think he could just throw the ammo at people…. Smart he ain’t.
If he has guns, I repeat: how did he get to be this age?
14Interesting another item on that woman who shot at the shoplifters in the parking lot of Walmart.
15http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34530646
No, Sh** Sherlock, about time.
Jane E, I am now breathing a little easier. I have family in Michigan in the vicinity of this “sharp shooter”.
16In northwestern SD population density is measured by square miles per person. They don’t call for the fire department because it takes more than an hour to get there.
The ranchers call a local number that rings all the neighbors. Each rancher has a fire fighting unit they drop into the bed of their pickup. It’s a water tank, gas engine powered water pump, hoses, and shovels, rakes, picks and other fire fighting tools. They’ll be gathering at the fire site in 20 minutes or less. It’s a good system.
17Having just recently lived through a whole lot of Washington State on fire, I’m too horrified to make much of a comment on this kind of idiocy. I do wonder, though, if it’s really a good thing that this particular nincompoop is still alive.
18If I was so inclined, I could go y’all one better. How about a house fire wherein there resided 100 rounds of ammo and the first responders were not informed? Fortunately, the fire was doused before it reached the ammo. By the way, the ammo is still in the same location and the owner carries on as before. the fire department still doesn’t know diddly about it and the owner feels that privacy trumps all. Can you spell KABOOM?
19@Maggie
Such happens. An officer in my little hometown PD, unmarried at the time, lived in a rented mobile home. In the back bedroom he set up his reloading stuff and left it unsecured all the time. Then a fire broke out in the middle of the thing, near the front door. Of course to a fire a mobile home is a metal oven filled with kindling. The FD did a good job of keeping the adjacent trailers and grass below flashpoint but the officer’s trailer was fully engulfed. And then, just to prove how quickly things can go from “can’t worse” “worse” the fire reached the back bedroom. Several hundred rounds of caliber .357 reloads and several pounds of powder were eventually exploded. This annoyed the firefighters, the police, and of course the neighbors. One of who was the property owner. If the officer had had anything left he would have been evicted. What a night!
20Micr, this hundred rounds of ammo lives in a very, very high rent area populated by what we call around here McMansions. The whole idea of what would have happened if the FD had not put out the fire in time in regards to the house next door has never hit the brain cells of the owner of the ammo. Envision one hell of a lawsuit by all the immediate neighbors. Also envision a home owner who can no longer get home insurance for a replacement house. That has never bothered the brain cells of the ammo lover.
21Luckily ammo isn’t all that dangerous in a fire. Without the cartridge being inside the gun when the ammo cooks off the side of the brass cartridge blows out so the bullet doesn’t fly very far or fast…
Inside of a gun I’d worry a lot more about it…
Stupidity is fully insured where arson is not, so if he had coverage that would replace a vehicle destroyed by fire he’d be covered. I can tell you of many homes having claims paid for fireplace or wood stove ashes in a cardboard box starting a fire in a garage, breezeway, or porch…
22Someone puts fireplace/wood stove ashes in a cardboard box? Is this arson or just stupidity? (My mother carried out ashes in a stout bucket from the hardware store, back when hardware stores carried stout buckets.)
23Sometimes the Stupid literally burns.
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