Freedom! Liberty! Louie’s Pit!
Texas Republican Congressvarmint Louie Gohmert is fighting for liberty, y’all. And Freedom and crap.
Louie took to the House floor to make a speech about the federal government interfering with his barbequing rights. Holy hell, y’all, this is serious. We’re talking barbeque.
“About seven years ago, the Architect of the Capitol, who works for the House and Senate, had decided that we all work for him and started making demands. One of which was, I could not cook ribs and share them with other members of Congress,” Gohmert said.
Liberty! Gohmert wants some damn Liberty!
Gohmert says he cooked ribs on his office balcony “quarterly” up until seven years ago. Then some government agent came along and said that an open fire the House hasn’t always ended up very well. Now what’s he supposed to do? Cook somewhere else? You know, like people who don’t have an office balcony?
I ain’t saying that Louie seems to be having a plenty easy time buying barbeque. And I wonder if his congressional friends know he ain’t doing the cooking of these “great” ribs. Or his $6668 barbeque?
Our friend John says there are only four balconies in the House Office building and none of them appear to belong to Louie Gohmert. I am under the assumption that they all belong to us. And in my mind, they should be used properly – to roast weenies.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
I find it hard to believe that Louie has ever barbecued anything because I’m fairly sure that he’d set himself on fire if he tried.
I don’t know whose balcony he thinks he’s using, but around here, twelve miles from where he thinks he is, barbecuing on balconies is prohibited in the interests of not burning the whole place down. I had a client who set their townhouse on fire by shoving an extinguished but still hot cooker under their wooden deck.
1Shows how dumb Louie is. If he had opened up a Bar-B-Q pit in DC he might be rich now. Members of Congress don’t have to worry about self-dealing and he wouldn’t have to make up an imaginary balcony.
2Now I get it. Why Louie’s legislative accomplishments haven’t amounted to a hill of beans over the last seven years (on the hill already in place). He was kicked off the porch, sent to his office without barbecue for dinner, and idled away his days hopelessly and ineffectually pouting ever since.
3Folks, Google up “Architect of the Capitol” and read about that person’s responsibilies with the U.S. Capitol Complex. One of them was the very recently completed renovation and preservation of the Capitol Dome. So some Texas cracker’s barbecue party is not their top priority. Does Lou-eye think he’s in some damn frat house? Oh, and thanks Lou-eye for your hardwork for the American people and your Texas constituents! (Yeah. Snark.)
(The Capitol Complex includes the U.S. Capitol, The Capitol Visitors Center, The Senate Office Bldgs., the House Office Buildings, The Library of Congress Buildings, the Supreme Court Building, the U.S. Botanical Gardens, plus the Capitol Grounds and attendant parks, monuments, and statuary. It’s a full plate, for sure.)
4@JAKVa: the short answer is yes, Go’mer thinks he is a member of the most exclusive frat house there is. And being an idiot, he thinks a mandate from Gawd put him there, not the invitation of a pack of like minded morons from deep East Texas!
5Now there’s your tax dollars at work: grilling ribs is the top priority. On the one hand, he’s busy stuffing his face, but on the other, it keeps him from doing harm (besides burning down the House) on the House floor and hopefully will choke when he tries to speak.
6Balcony. Here’s my recollection of balconies from my years at college. I suspect this is the use to which Louie Lou-eye wants to put his balcony. Screw “barbecuing”.
At my little college all the fraternity and sorority houses were squarish 2 or 3 story cubes. Except one. The Sig Ep House had balconies on the second and third floors. Drunken Eps (and drunken others) regularly vomited, urinated, and propelled water balloons off these balconies near and sometimes on unsuspecting drunken others below. This tale would read just as accurately if you substituted “Louie Ghomert” for “Eps”.
7I think there should be some kind of “*Embarrassment Rule.” If a goober like Gomert causes his poor constituents to reach a certain level of embarrassment, he must be removed from whatever office he holds, including appointed offices, immediately. There’s only so much abuse a poor citizen can take!
(*Of course, in the case of the Cheetoh-faced Ferret-wearing Shitgibbon Cocksplat, he doesn’t even get to take the oath.)
8What the bleep! I know the Longworth House Office Building. I’ve been there often enough. Have even stood on the balcony outside the Ag Committee Hearing Room and gazed across the street at the House end of the Capitol. These balconies are more decorative than functional. If a half dozen people stood shoulder to shoulder on the balcony they wouldn’t go any further due to the size in one direction and in the other its two steps from the railing to the door! There is no way he could get a good old fashioned barrel style rib barbecue cooker on those balconies! Maybe Loopy Louie was using a hibachi and barbecuing only one rib at a time!
9Inquiring minds want to know…does he grill asparagus with those ribs?
10Hey, Texas! Check and see if Old Sid is attending a special breakfast event this week up in New York City with the rest of the members of the Trump Ag and Rural Advisory Committee. It costs five grand just to get in. Question: where would Sid get that kind of dough just for a political breakfast so he could rub shoulders with all the other guys who are jockeying for the Sec. of Ag. for the US of A! Pray that he doesn’t attend! That hat of his would knock people over in a crowded room. Just think of all the scrambled eggs flying through the air!
11@Aggieland Liz#5- I think- though I’m none too sure about this- that maybe sometime I’d like to personally meet an example of the witless sorts that keep re-electing Louie to the house. It’s entirely possible I have met the sort having been stationed at Ft. Hood for a considerable time.All I really know is that it snowed on us once, and I’m not too sure but what there isn’t a central Texan who knows how to drive in slippery inclemencies. If there is, they didn’t live near Ft. Hood at the time.
12And old one but appropriate saying – we can’t miss him if he won’t go away.
13The guys arrived safely in ND and are busy setting up their campsite and meeting with tribal leaders.
When the next call comes, won’t share the latest Louie moment. My calm, cool, collected and generally sweet hubby might self combust. He definitely has his Louie Limits.
14Oh good grief Louie. Any kindergartner and first grader can tell you about fire safety. Is it too much to ask that our members of the House of Representatives know it also?
15there it is again, Gohmert and the WEW !(white entitlement whine). or Babyism. freedom to do whatever you damn well please.
WEW is the leading cause of Conservatism and religious rightism..
16Jane (married to PKM) [lucky woman], thanks for the update. Please send our best regards and thoughts for safety. I’m so proud to say I “know” someone who is literally standing for what is right.
17Good luck to PKM Safe thoughts to all……
18Louie, you idiot: You work in an old building (built 1933), and it’s not that hard to set it on fire. Your fellow House members would very likely like to eat barbecue, but I don’t think they want to BE barbecue. Do your cooking somewhere else. Bring it in and share, if anyone is still talking to you.
19UPDATE: I did some sleuthing using Wiki. Louie says he hasn’t “cued” in 7 years right? (And please note it’s taken him 7 years to complain.) The current Architect of the Capitol (AotC) started his term in May, 2010. So Lou-eye must be whining about the previous AotC. Following me?
So, the puke that is Lou-eye is condemning the rightful actions of someone who cannot defend themselves being no longer there, but using the office title (Architect of the Capitol) to whip a man who didn’t institute the (sound in IMHO) safety policy, but I’m sure is continuing it because, well, smart.
Trump likes to grab pussy, or so he says.
20Donnie… meet Lou-eye. Have at it, boys.
PKM, take damn good care of yourself. Remember what Tom Jefferson said about Ben Franklin – you, too, can’t be replaced.
21JAK virginia, you have won my heart!
We have a potus-elect endangering national security and stirring up trouble with our allies around the world because he won’t follow protocol and won’t let the State Department and National Security guide his steps. He knows better. Then there is screwy Louie.
22Karl and I thank everyone for your fine thoughts. Please don’t worry. He’s a determined man with a cool head and two young sons he adores. His focus will keep him safe.
Is Louie another one like Paul Ryan living on his office couch? Or, is there some reason he cannot invite people to his own home for those barbecues? The last time Washington was burned to the ground, it was the Red Coats in 1812. We don’t need the Redneck of 2016 repeating the process.
23I’m a SouDakota native, but know that area of NorDakota well. It’s beautiful country that deserves much better than black goo oozing across it. There’s an incredible collection of really wonderful people there to keep that from happening. I’m very happy that PKM is there too.
24“And in my mind, they should be used properly – to roast weenies”. And since Goober IS a weenie…
25http://crooksandliars.com/2016/12/2000-veterans-joy-reid-help-valiant-dakota
26@Debbo #8: If Louie’s constituents were capable of being embarrassed, do you think they’d have elected him? Especially, gawd help us, more than once.
27Jane, you have been spoken of quite frequently in this here salon, and always with love and respect from PKM. He and the other water protectors are in my prayers. Thank you for letting us know how it goes. Please continue to update us.
28Two words: Reichstag Fire
Big fan of WMDBS. We’ve got our own version of East Texas chumps here in MD-01 that keep voting for a rich ideological idiot that actively works against their interests. Health insurance for minimum wage oyster shuckers and chicken pluckers is socialism don’t you know.
29Latest news is that everyone is eagerly awaiting the arrival of Tulsi Gabbard, Democratic Congresswoman from HI and wondering why Senator Heitkamp can’t walk her butt in front of a camera to speak for her own constituents.
Meanwhile, KJ is really learning from this experience. He knows where his daddy and friends are this weekend. At his young age he’s wise beyond his years. A lot like his daddy, the man I met when he was just 14. KJ has chosen the news this weekend over cartoons and wonders why he isn’t seeing pictures of his daddy and friends.
Media can you hear us? Our toddler son has a question for you.
30FYI- http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2016/12/standing-rock-police-militarized-emergency-management-assistance-compact-north-dakota
31Jane: PKM has always impressed me with his insightful opinions and often razor-sharp wit. Adding your voice to the salon is a delight. I know in my life how difficult it is to live what you believe is right and fair without the support of the people you love. You are a treasure for the support you give to PKM. And he is a treasure for his active support of Native Americans in this instance. Thank you both for your commitment and caring. All the good chi I can muster I send your way.
Now… practicality looms it’s ugly head. Is there anything you or he need? It’s cold there. Food? Blankets? Cold hard cash? You let us know, okay? Big hugs to you and the boys.
32JAK, thank you. I would ask that you trust the Water Protectors as Karl does. There are many ways you can contribute: http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/38592-the-many-ways-to-help-standing-rock
33Jane, Sen. Heitkamp has been too busy meeting with the Orange Menace for a possible spot in his Cabinet to worry about her own constituents. She’s been pretty quiet about the whole Standing Rock protest.
34NEWS: The Army Corps of Engineers won’t grant an easement for the Dakota pipeline!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/authorities-to-conditionally-move-from-bridge-near-protest/2016/12/04/64d914fe-ba25-11e6-ae79-bec72d34f8c9_story.html?tid=pm_pop&utm_term=.85286629c3d4
35Rhea it is all because PKM showed up. Gawd how I’ve always wanted a pony. PKM get right on it, will you?
36KJ is ecstatic! His Daddy called with the good news that he will be home soon and the DAPL is not happening. Karl is happy, too. The veterans and the Water Protectors have a pact and phone tree of mutual support to demonstrate to Donnie what division strength is should he methinks he can proxy his shares of oil for a reversal.
Love our veterans, my veteran for sure, who know what love & country mean. Jane (married to him —>) and loving him more each of the 16 years from the day we met.
37Mr. Onion, Karl warned me about you and told me to be aware of your charm. Pony? Unicorns for everyone!
38Thank you, Ms Jane. Got any little ones you want to give away? I had a MIL once so I ain’t scared of youngsters in their terrible twos or anything-except grizzly bears.
I am afraid that once the Best Potus Ever vacates Drumpf Tower at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, DAPL will have a co-owner and special friend in the WH.
39Those of us born with weenies feel vaguely threatened.
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