Dire Warning
Warning to all members of Congress. This is what happens when you cut Social Security.
And just for the record, I know I certainly feel safer with this gray menace behind bars.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
January 31, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Warning to all members of Congress. This is what happens when you cut Social Security.
And just for the record, I know I certainly feel safer with this gray menace behind bars.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
There are members of Congress like Gentleman Johnny McCain who would dig a hot, young chick like that. 🙂
1Yeah, let’s arrest senior ladies~that’s the ticket to stopping crime~CRIMINY
2Good grief. She IS well-preserved, if badly served by law.
3Cause yeah, I mean, how could we have endured with SUCH a danger on the loose.
She got busted at Homewood Suites?
4Well . . . at least she had a full kitchen and livingroom to entertain in. Probably got complimentary microwave popcorn
too.
Considering the average Social Security check will barely cover utilities, let alone rent or mortgage, food or health care (Medicare B premiums alone are up to $104 + a month – which is huge consideirng many elderly women – who stayed in the home raising the kids might not get more than six of seven hundred dollars a month total).
What irks me most is that the people deciding the Social Security benefits and COLAs, the premiums for Mediccare and other social safety net programs are folks who get automatic cost of living adjustments on top of salaries denied to most, and retirement close to those salaries for life once they vest in the system for a few years. Plus, they get top of the line health crare subsidized in part by taxpayers and most of them are already wealthy. They cannot reasily relate to the realities of most elderly.
Thanks for putting up this post. We are beginning to see more news stories of petty crime by the elderly simply for survival motives. Not that prostitution is a petty crime, but when mass murder with assault weapons is becoming more common, whoring does not seem to be at the top of the crimes to be cracked down upon as it once was.
Those people will not be happy until old folks are killed off or back on those poor farms or debtors prison – or, as evidenced by this post, doing whatever it takes to stay alive. Shame on politicians without hearts.
Maybe some Republican will read that article and praise her for being self-reliant and resourceful. Maybe they will even recommend their own mothers or grannies consider following her example. Oh, wait, the new GOP seems to only like kinky sex or no sex at all. Never mind.
5Fortunately, most Republicans don’t find it necessary to pay attention to what non-Americans are up to, or they might get some ideas from the Japanese finance minister. I particularly enjoyed the part where finance minister Aso, a man who lives off the government says “I would wake up feeling increasingly bad knowing that [treatment] was all being paid for by the government”:
Taro Aso, the finance minister, said on Monday that the elderly should be allowed to “hurry up and die” to relieve pressure on the state to pay for their medical care.
“Heaven forbid if you are forced to live on when you want to die. I would wake up feeling increasingly bad knowing that [treatment] was all being paid for by the government,” he said during a meeting of the national council on social security reforms. “The problem won’t be solved unless you let them hurry up and die.”
6http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/22/elderly-hurry-up-die-japanese
Rick, How do you suppose the Finnace Minister pronounces his name? Does it rhyme Brasso? Glass ho? Romney?
7I booked me a room at the Homewood Suites
Where the mini bar charges 14 bucks for a cola
C-O-L-A cola
I called a number from the back page ad
I asked her her name and in a sultry voice she said Lola
L-O-L-A Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Well I’m not the world’s most monied guy
So when I asked how much it nearly made me cry
For my Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Well I’m not dumb but it does confound
Why did she arrive in a Hoveround
Oh my Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Well we drank Ensure ‘til the time was right
Then she turned off all the lights
And in the dark I heard her trip
Oh god please don’t tell me that you broke a hip
Well I’m not the world’s most Oedipal guy
But when she called me “son” it really made me high
For my Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
I picked her up
I got her chair
I said “Just stay there.
It’ll save your knees.”
And then she asked could I find her teeth.
Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way
For my Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Granny shouldn’t have to be a ho
But what can keep her from turning pro except for C.O.L.A
Co- co- co- co- C.O.L.A.
Well I’d left home to go on the road
And found myself with a heavy load
But rather than give myself a hand
I called Eight Hundred Date-A-Gran
So you’re not entitlement’s biggest fan
8But only better benefits will keep your Gran
From being Lola
Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola, Lo- Lo- Lo- Lo- Lola
Snort, guffaw, giggle – – -‘Does not book appointments after 8 ‘- – -I know that feeling – – – – – –
9Anybody else around TWMDBS notice the kind of topics that really get daChipster’s creative juices flowing?
10Moving near a large facility for the blind, and taking up prostitution was my retirement plan B.
11Good grief.
12Chipster: the KINKS would be SO PROUD…..seeing as how they’re not youngsters anymore either……..;-)
13My God, Chipster! I know I always said I wanted to die laughing, but I was kidding, man! KIDDING!!
Buuuuaaahhhhh HAHAHAhahahahahahaaaaaaaaa…..
*gasps* *clutches chest* *reaches for inhaler* (*misses*)
THUD
14oh DaChipster…what a way to end my work day….I’m trying not to laugh too loudly and have to explain to anyone what I’m reading…..you rocked it!
And Shugguh, your plan may just catch on.
What would I do without the beauty salon??
15Oh, daChipster never lets a good opportunity pass him by, and he never fails to make me cry
from laughing.
I’ll soon be 74. It’s that too old to start my own business?
16Well, how could you top daChipster’s rewrite? Too damn funny dude. Lola reminded me of my husband and two friends that thought they could come up with an escort service with them as the escort. I told them they would have to be targeting the Leisureworld Crowd as the young ones wouldn’t be interested in 3 old beer belly boys.
17We’re guys, we are all visually stimulated even when that stimulation involves a little bit of a cringe. Way to go Chip.
18Yeah, let’s cut Social Security and all those other programs that aid the elderly.
19Thank ya’ll I needed the laugh. I’ve laughed ’til the tears streamed down my cheeks.
The mental 8 x 10’s on all this are priceless.
You go Granny.
20Once again, daChipster wins the internets.
Anyone know how to get guacamole off a monitor safely?
21When you’ve already been had by the politicians, you might as well get paid for it – and off the books too.
22Why was a “Drug Task Force” arresting a 70 year old prostitute? They don’t have enough to do?
23That’s beautiful, da Chipster. It brought tears to my eyes (and I even remembered the tune to sing along ).
24Oh, daChipster, you’re just too much, as always, and they lyrics are amazing, but I didn’t know the tune (I’m old). Thanks to Shuggah, because I see at 65 that I’ve missed a golden financial opportunity. Thanks to Carlo for making me say, “Oh for Gawd’s sake, don’t you have anything better to do?” Drug Task Force, indeed. At least she’s not on the unemployment roles. And also thanks to Marge Wood, “Good Grief.”
There are days when I really don’t know what I would do without JJ and the clients of the TWMDBS. Thanks to all of you.
25DaChipster,
Yep. The Kinks would be proud. That is my husband’s favorite song of all time~too hilarious.
26DaChipster, we stand in awe, sir!
27Da Chipster….awe indeed! Because that sound WAS my mental soundtrack for this story even before you re-lyric’d it so flawlessly! Thank you for the laugh!
28Jon Stewart should be so witty. Send DaChipster’s idea to the Daily Show!
29