Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

Okay, So Next Time We Have a Baby, Bubba, I’ll Watch While You Deliver

August 04, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Oklahoma Republican Senator (cringing already, right?) James Lankford has laid down the law.  Abortion is his business because he likes the ladies.

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 2.30.24 PMHe’s even been known to watch them in labor and holy cow that was painful. His little beady eyes were just writhing in pain.

He was arguing with Barbara Boxer about Planned Parenthood and told her this

“I’m a dad of two daughters,” he said. “I had something to do with the birth as well, and was also there. I was there during the sonograms. My wife and I are extremely close. And to be a dad of two daughters, I’m very passionate, not only about my own wife, but about my mom, who’s a cancer survivor — multiple-time cancer survivor — I’m passionate about my daughters having every single opportunity.”

Oh no you didn’t.

Your wife gave birth. You watched. Your momma had cancer. You watched. So, I tell you what – you make the rules about watching and I’ll make the rules about birthing.

Have a medical emergency? Call James. He’ll watch.

 

Awwwww … Too Bad, So Sad

August 04, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Fox News is supposed to announce the debate finalist this afternoon.  It increasingly looks like Rick Perry won’t make the cut.

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I think they’re having a children’s table debate before the big boy debate.  Hopefully for Rick, they get to use flash cards at that table.

 

Oh Hell No

August 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Okay, you each get 25 words to try to convince me that this is not the creepiest guy on the damn planet.

 

The laugh at the end?  I think he does that a lot in his basement at night.

Thanks to Roger for the heads up.

Texas Oh Texas

August 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

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And he did not win the smiling guiltless mugshot lottery.

 

ken-paxton-mug

 

Holy cow, when your former Governor and your current Attorney General are both under felony indictment, don’t you get another star on your state flag or something?

 

I Have An Idea, And For Once It’s a Good One!

August 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

Okay, here’s the deal.  This would be so great.

I think that when Fox News announces the top ten Republican candidates who made the debate cut, it should be done live on teevee and all 16 of the candidates should be present.

You know, like a game show.

“Scott Walker, Come On Down!  You have made the cut as one of the top ten.  Now you get to play Dungeons and Dopes with nine other contestants.”

I would watch that.

 

Unknown

 

You Go, Louie!

August 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Category: Uncategorized

In this afternoon’s scam Super PAC edition, we have the charming boys and girls over at Freedom’s Defense Fund.

Not surprisingly, very little of the money they raise goes to defending freedom.  Unless by freedom, they mean their right to live in royal grandeur by ripping off people.

They brought in about $880,000.   They spend almost all of said monies on PAC vendors – who, I’m sure quite by accident – are the PACs creators.

There was only one beneficiary.

 

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I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Freedom’s Defense Fund on using all the money they raise for whiskey, fast cars, and women instead of giving it to Louie, which would be far more dangerous.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for finding this stuff.