Because I Love Me Some Barbecue

June 13, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Please meet Congressvarmint Blake Farenthold.

 

114_rp_tx_27_farenthold_blake

And then hear what he said —

“With President Trump, I’m ready to get off defense and go on offense. Trump is going to slaughter some sacred cows, and I’m ready for the barbecue.”

I imagine you are, Blake, I imagine you are.

 

 

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0 Comments to “Because I Love Me Some Barbecue”


  1. Beststash says:

    This is the “Boss Hog” that represents my area and although I am only about 40 miles from the Great State of Austin the mentality is inversely proportional to the miles away from the Capital. I communicate with his office regularly and of course all I get is his canned email. How and why someone, anyone, would vote for this type of person is beyond me?We simply have to do something about the gerrymandering in Texas.

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  2. Why Blake must be smarter. Now that he got him some of them interlectual eye glass. Just like Gov. Rick.

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  3. Looks like Ducky Pajama Boy hasn’t had enough attention lately.

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  4. Totally, so totally un-self aware! Or he has the best damn shield known to mankind that repels responses to such nitwittery.

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  5. Mark Schlemmer says:

    Texas has got itself one seriously creepy, stupid, venal, and fat bunch of politicians. This guy has to be in the top three of that list. I’m truly sorry for the rest of you. Come visit Oregon any time. I would buy any of the regulars on this site a cup of coffee.

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  6. “Going on offense,” of course, will not involve actually getting in the line of fire or facing any physical danger whatsoever. But he’s happy to brag about his bravery and might be willing to push a button or two to kill people at long distances.

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  7. I believe there’s a saying in Texas about “All hat and no cattle.”

    No cattle, perhaps, but plenty of bull.

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  8. Proof positive that Siblings should never have children…

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  9. Steve The Returned says:

    Doing all he can to obliterate the proud legacy of Sissy Farenthold. What a waste of oxygen this guy is.

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  10. maryelle says:

    Let’s see if ole Frigginhelld would like a healthy side of steaming bull crap with that BBQ. That there smartass quip must have been written for him by a staffer who obviously hates his ample guts. Looks like he’s already had his fill of it.

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  11. dbtexas says:

    Isn’t it always interesting that the greatest tough guy flame throwers are those that deftly avoided military service. Farenthold is simply another RW coward devoid of any intellectual comprehension concerning matters of the world. As “Besthash” stated, why anyone would vote for such a dim bulb is beyond comprehension.

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  12. JAKvirginia says:

    JJ says:
    Please meet Congressvarmint Blake Farenthold.

    I say: Why?

    (Sorry, Susan. I know you have to slug through the crap that is Texas politics. I feel for you.)

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  13. Elizabeth Moon says:

    I see an overfed hog ready for the fire, there.

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  14. Isn’t this the fat boy who was photographed in his jammies?

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  15. Aggieland Liz says:

    Never mind the sacred cows; larded pork anyone? Nasty!

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  16. Theme song:

    Big Twist & the Mellow Fellows, “Too Much Barbecue.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft_gOnarKZ0

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  17. Mark. My bride and I will be in Portland starting Saturday through June 30 to visit kids and grandkids

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  18. e platypus onion says:

    Looking at this prize porker, I sees me a ton of Canadian Bacon.

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  19. Sandridge says:

    Methinks ‘Long Pig’ Blake is best served with that vinegary sour Carolina style BBQ sauce.
    .
    Beststash, et al., some election history for TX-27:
    Before the majority Mexican-American district was gerrymandered, the long term incumbent was one Solomon Ortiz (I had voted for him, later reluctantly, since his first run in the new district).
    Ortiz took the election as a cinch/given, basically phoned it in, and got his butt kicked by Farenthold and the usual Democratic intense voter apathy.
    Then the TX-27 district was severely gerrymandered by the Texas R-Lege, heavily in Cerdo’s favor.
    Farenthold was then challenged by a Democratic USMCR Lt Col F-14 pilot, fer chrissakes; you couldn’t find a better match to take on against Chickenhawk Blake (it was covered here at JJ’s).
    So what happened?
    The dogdamned Democratic voters of a certain dominant demographic sat home on their lazy effen azzes as usual, and let Long Pig (Puerco) Blake waddle away with another easy ‘win’.
    Stuff like that is why I remain pessimistic on all of the speculation of Texass ever turning purple or blue…
    (my more reasonable better judgement tells me I should tone this down…naaahh, we’ll do it friggen live!)

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  20. Sandridge says:

    e platypus onion,
    I know Canadian Bacon, prefer Canadian Bacon. Long Pig Blake ain’t got nuthin’ but yards of fatback and lardbelly.
    There ain’t even a decent McMuffin slice in the whole carc-ass.

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  21. Mark, I will be visiting In the Portland, Oregon vicinity in a few months. If that is close to you, I’ll take you up on that coffee invitation!

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  22. e platypus onion says:

    Sandridge-my humblest apologies to you Canadian Bacon connoisseurs and the iowa state fair big boar winner from last year-Big Mac_ who at 1166 pounds will end up as Canadian Bacon someday soon.

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  23. Sandridge says:

    e platypus onion,
    My eldest daughter raised many critters for 4H/FFA. One was a huge Duroc who won a couple of stock show ribbons, think he was around 7-800 lbs (poor hog had reddish hair like tRump, he was a Duroc).
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duroc_pig

    We kept him for a long time, he was such a sweetie. When he finally went on the trailer, there wasn’t a dry eye around; even my ex, who tries to be un-pet-liking, was bawling. He came back neatly wrapped, and nobody would eat any.
    .

    As far as Long Pig Blake (Sus scrofa farentholdicus), put him on one of those culinary shows…’how to make chorizo’ or ‘BBQ with Franklin’ or ‘Sopa South Texas’…

    Let’s take him on a ‘tour’ of “Chorizo De San Manuel”, one way… (I occasionally worked just down Hwy 186 from there):

    http://chorizodesanmanuel.com/
    A member of the Guerra family, Melissa, actually has a teevee cooking show y’all might have seen:
    http://www.melissaguerra.com/shop/chorizo-de-san-manuel/
    .
    PS: For all you non-South Texans, if you can get the above branded products in your market areas, they are simply the best available anywhere.
    They’ll make the best breakfast dishes you ever et, tacos, migas, huevos rancheros, etc.
    Take it from someone who’s been eating Tex-Mex, Yucatan, and Mex food a veerrry long time, and who was usually muy disappointed when traveling elsewhere and checking out so-called ‘Mex food’..

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  24. e platypus onion says:

    Second time in my life I have seen the word migas. Other time was in a western paperback. I like what passes for Mexican food around nw iowa,but it sure din’t like me in return. (hint-extra mild picante sauce is nearly too much for my tummy)

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  25. e platypus onion says:

    Ol’ Blake Fart and Hold.

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  26. Didn’t recognize him without his jammies.

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  27. looks like 3rd and 4th chins are on their way……

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  28. Anomalous Propagation says:

    That fat phart’s second chin falls all the way to his navel. Just how fat is he?

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  29. Sandridge says:

    e platypus onion,
    You’ll find migas on most menus around here.
    Your tummy is probably so delicate because you’ve babied/not challenged it. I’ve been eating what most of y’all would consider nukular-fusion-hot food for years-lifelong. Supposedly, eating such food imparts all kinds of health benefits.
    I love that KC Masterpiece Honey-Habanero BBQ sauce (y’all just use a drop or two to start). Try it.

    I’m growing some “Carolina Reaper” chiles, ~16,000,000,000+ on the Scoville Scale, the current world’s hottest pepper, a lethal vegetable, heheh.
    FYI: a jalapeno pepper is only about 5-10,000 on the S scale, even a ‘hot’ one, the habanero is only up to 4-5,000,000, IIRC..
    .
    .
    And, errrrm, I’ve been saving, holding, this back until now:
    The Repukes ‘God” is Crepitus, as manifested in their politicians like tRump and Farenthold:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crepitus_%28mythology%29

    .

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  30. “Doing all he can to obliterate the proud legacy of Sissy Farenthold.”

    fortunately for the family, he seems to have been adopted. at the rate he’s going, I expect he’ll have a massive coronary, before he’s able to do any real damage. oh well………………

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  31. e platypus onion says:

    Sandridge, my doc is adamant about treating my tummy gently. She was that way about my heart as well. Told me I should only make love with my wife. I wasn’t to get excited.

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