A Whole Bunch of Crap

July 30, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You know your whole state has gone to crap when you see this headline while reading your local newspaper with your morning coffee.

If you recall, in order to justify requiring women  to have their tampon and sanitary napkins confiscated prior to entering the Texas House gallery, DPS tried to make it look like we are ruffians by saying,  “DPS officers have thus far discovered one jar suspected to contain urine, 18 jars suspected to contain feces, and three bottles suspected to contain paint.”

New media, ever anxious to find crap when they can, asked for proof of this as the material should have been tagged and reported because it was confiscated and – now, I’m just speculating here – could be considered a biohazard.

Six new agencies in Texas made requests for the information because, frankly, they think it’s a load of crap.

Sure ’nuff, they get back an email stating that DPS is requesting an Attorney General’s opinion prior to releasing the information.  The Attorney General is Greg Abbott, the guy who is running for Governor now that Rick Perry is a lame duck. They are asking him to determine if this is public information.  Can you guess what that opinion might be.

Now I’m not saying that obviously DPS theirownselves made it public when they released the statement … oh hell, who am I kidding – that’s exactly what I’m saying.

There’s more crap about the crap than there was crap in the first place.

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14 Comments to “A Whole Bunch of Crap”


  1. I often wonder how any self-respecting person can be proud of being a Texan…. we have become just another laughing stock red state run by corporate whores, thieves and liars.

    We shame ourselves by not putting and end to GOP thuggery.

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  2. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    As the saying goes, the coverup is usually worse than the offense. But how do you cover up something that stinks to high heaven?

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  3. This all sounds like a whole load of crap to me!

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  4. Brian, I lived in a State of Texas Denial for over 30 years when I observed that Texans are a wonderful, generous and proud population of folks inside the state borders; unfortunately when they venture outside the state lines, they become loud, obnoxious braggarts who need to go back home. Doesn’t matter where you are… East Coast, Caribbean, Europe, Middle East, Colorado, or the beaches of Costa Rica and Mexico… I discovered that flying under the radar, pronouncing the “g’s” at the end of words, and losing the peachy-ness was the prudent thing to do. Cranking down the volume helped, too. Geo W made it worse than you can imagine. Rick Perry and Ted Cruz have taken it to a whole new level. And then along came Wendy, inciting the worst in the State House while thousands and thousands watched. I’ve been back 3 years now. I frequently wonder if it is worth the grief, given the mess the Repugs have made of this state. OMG.

    Being here after 40 years away has also given me a new appreciation for the characters all around us who seem like a normal part of daily life in Texas. Most of my family tree came to Texas long long ago. One GGG grandfather came in with a flock of Primitive Baptists, which the paperwork reflects as “Pilgrim Baptists”.. which was allegedly the first legal non-Catholic congregation allowed to immigrate by Mexico. The ruins of their old church has one of those Historical Markers in front of it in Sand Flats, Anderson County. That congregation later got into some sort of squabble, split up, and part of them started the Church of Christ in Tx, while to this day there are still family members as Elders in the Primitive Baptist faith. There are farmers and cowboys, dust bowl survivors, renegades and wild cards in the mix, too. Hico, Tx proudly promotes itself as the final resting place of Billy the Kid, who was a McCarty at birth, and who allegedly took that name back after escaping the shootout in NM. Stomping around in our old family cemeteries while watching for rattlesnakes in Erath, Dickens, and Bailey Counties is interesting. Land of Indians, heat, sandstorms and ceaseless winds, mesquite and other brush… all it took was an afternoon or two out there in 100 degree heat for me to gain a whole new appreciation for why people who settled this part of the world were so unruly and cantankerous.

    There was no law, everything was settled with a fist or a pistola, conditions were harsh, whiskey washed down the beans and bad coffee around campfires and provided anesthesia when needed, houses were pretty sub-standard. I treasure photos of relatives that look like they came straight from central casting in a bad B movie. I have Grandma’s handmade work bonnet, with the cardboard inserts to keep the brim stiff.

    This is all just regular stuff in the world of Texas settlers. Guess they deserve to brag about surviving it all. One of my favorite stories is of my uncle who played Texas League baseball during the Depression for a team in Midland. The team was sponsored by an oil drilling company, so they worked on a rig during the week, played ball on weekends, and were provided room and board for their ball playing. Uncle Buck said that the rooms were divvied out based upon who was the biggest baddest bastard on the team and usually was settled by a drunken fistfight…. “and Darlin’… I usually had the best room in the house…”

    And you wonder why our State House and other politicians act like they do? Gene pool.

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  5. Michael Li is calling this poopgate on his twitter feed

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  6. DPS officers are more than suspected to contain feces.

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  7. Elise Von Holten says:

    I had been in the Fench language only part of Paris, France for a week or so, then we were making our way to Sainte Chapelle, which has the most awe inspiring vitrine of anywhere, which attracts many tourists even though it’s inside the police station, and getting on the Metro, I heard the loudest, harshest sounds loudly coming from a large, taking up a lot of physical and energetic space, man. It took a few minutes to realize that it was actually English coming from this overbearing, boisterous, (trying to be kind, here) man. As the noise turned in to English, finally recognizable as Southern, Texas, English, I was embarrassed. I am often mistaken for a Canadian, and really like that because of the often held attitude that was made clear by the Estonian girl who was working at an ice cream store in Crete saying, as she was taken aback to find out I was American, “You can’t be! Americans are stupid!” An attitude that stereotypically had a large grain of truth in it…seeing no respect for others culture’s as I traveled in Greek, Egypt, where at that time, as a dark haired woman who had at least learned to say, “excuse me, please and thank you, I’m sorry, and hello and goodbye” in Greek and Arabic and French, and in the Muslim and some places in Greece i wore a mid calf length black dress, the natives often mistook me for one of their own because it’s polite–the barging in loudly and then complaining that it wasn’t like it “should be” was embarrassing to be around and my fellow “Americans” were often, because of bias and ignorance, considered stupid. The Texans traveling were some of the worst offenders…we often explained it by saying that the more educated, liberal types of people did not have the free time or even the money, because education was expensive in the US and we did not have the extended time off (up to three months) to travel as Europeans did. That seemed to mollify the a bit, and I know the clients of the beauty parlor who be wonderful ambassadors for Amercia, as opposed to a Rick Perry or any of the circus clowns that represent us right now….willfully ignorant, stubbornly stupid, and deadly sincere, Abbot and his ilk are deadly to Texas, and all of the “we’re Number 1”, USA.

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  8. Um, aw gee. Remember when I was in grad school studying psych. There was a diagnosis concerning people who were compelled to get up close and personal with poop. These folks were usually taken away and put someplace where 1.) they were thoroughly medicated and 2.) could then have a type of amnesia about poop. Thing is, does Texas have stashed anywhere any psychiatrists with the cojones to really bring this sort of thing to public attention and get some help for the DPS and whoever else is even marginally involved? Silly question I know but I just really can’t wait!

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  9. Elise Von Holten says:

    Sorry, “would be wonderful ambassadors” and you all would be!

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  10. Corinne Sabo says:

    It won’t take them long to come up with the full bottles, just give them to Abbott, too. He can easily fill them.

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  11. You got to love this headline from the Texas Tribune http://www.texastribune.org/2013/07/30/still-no-evidence-alleged-excrement-abortion-vote/

    Evidence of Excrement Remains Elusive

    …None of the more than 20 officers interviewed by the Tribune on July 12 at the Capitol were able to confirm seeing material that resembled feces or urine.

    In the weeks that have followed, neither DPS nor any other branch of state government has produced evidence supporting the claims that visitors brought urine and feces to the Capitol.

    Some activists and lawmakers have suggested the reports were fabricated as an attempt to discredit activists who had come to protest the abortion restrictions bill.

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  12. Caroline says:

    Maybe the only “poop” was what the Ledge stepped in when they tried to roll back the time stamp and then tried to lie about it…….

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  13. To check out the twitter feed at #poopgate

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  14. Litlhorn says:

    So are they asking Greggy’s permission to have 18 DPS’r crap in jars or are they offering to let him watch?

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