Archive for July, 2011

Pull In On Them Reins, Tangerine Cowboy!

July 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I just heard John Boehner’s speech on the House floor.

Somebody needs to give him some Valium with a Truth Serum chaser.

That dude is wound up tighter than skin on a sausage.  He provided a distraction when we need a solution.  And, 218 to 218 (oops, corrected to 210) is not a consensus.

Republicans are willing to sacrifice America to funnel more money to the rich.  And that’s the damn truth.

Is It The Onion Or Is It Fox News

July 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It’s getting hard to tell.

Bill Nye, the Science Guy, appeared on Fox News to explain volcanoes on the moon.  Since everything in the known universe works to prove that liberals are wrong, wrong, wrong about everything, host Jon Scott did his ignorant lamebutt twirp best to prove that volcanoes on the moon prove there is no climate change.

The result is hysterical because Bill Nye’s face is one of the damnest things I’ve ever seen, and you will be a better person for seeing the expression on his face in response to snot-slinging vicious dumb.

Take a look.  You won’t be sorry.

JON SCOTT: Does it go, you know, anywhere close to the climate change debate that’s underway here on earth? I mean, you know, if the moon had —

BILL NYE: Well, it does for me.

SCOTT: — had erupting volcanoes, a few years, well, a few million years ago, however you want to put it —

NYE: No, billion.

SCOTT: — you know, it’s not like we’ve been up there burning fossil fuels.

NYE: Uh, no, volcanoes are not connected to the burning of fossil fuels, it’s connected to mining, but the big thing for us, on my side of this thing, is the science is true, and so when you discover — the people who got really got involved in climate change, got involved in it often by studying Venus, the planet Venus. So the physics, the science that happens on Venus, is the same as the science that happens on the earth, the science that happens on the moon, in this case the geology the study of rocks, that happens on the moon, is the same science that happens on the earth. So when you say to yourself, well, I’m going to ignore all the evidence of climate change, you’re saying, I’m going to ignore the best ideas anybody’s ever had, that’s science. And so this is quite troubling to those of us on our side of it.

SCOTT: Why aren’t they erupting now?

NYE: Well the moon cooled off, that’s a great question. That’s a fabulous question. The moon is quite a bit smaller than the earth so it cools off faster.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads-up.

Well, MY Deadline Was Three Days Ago

July 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thank you, Virginia Mary —-

A real honest-to-gosh minister agrees.

Friday Toon

July 29, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

He’s So Lost That He’s Going To Have To Take Out An Ad in the Newspaper For Someone to Come Find Him

July 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Rick Perry is lost.  I mean really lost.

Nearly two months after calling the nation to a day of prayer and fasting at Reliant Stadium, Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Wednesday said he still was not sure what role he will play in the Aug. 6 event.

“I’m going to be there; I may be ushering, for all I know,” Perry said during a bill-signing ceremony at the Greater Houston Partnership. “Don’t get confused; this isn’t about me. It’s not about the people on the stage, either. This is truly about coming together as a state and lifting up this nation in prayer and having a day of prayer and fasting.”

“Oh, Gov.  This is pretty bad.  You were heading up this thing so fancy that Sweet Jesus sent out notes about being upstaged,” Juanita said when she called his voice mail this morning.

“Lookie, here, Mr. GQ in pajama pants, you invited all these weirdos to Houston so now you can’t be saying that you don’t know these guys,” she shouted on the phone.

“You know what this is all about, don’t you?” Juanita asked as an aside to me.  “The fool just now figured out that these people he calls his friends are batcrap crazy.   He didn’t realize they were a taco short of a combination platter.”

“And by the way, Gov, now that I have your voice mail.  What is the deal with you showing up in a sports coat and pajama pants at least twice now at important events?  You got a bad jock itch or something?  You can’t figure out how to operate a zipper?  Dude, put on your big boy pants.”

In more ways than one, Honey, in more ways than one.

You Wanna Talk Christian Terrorism, Bubbie?

July 28, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A Planned Parenthood facility in McKinney, Texas, was firebombed on Tuesday night.

Someone threw a Molotov cocktail, a glass bottle filled with diesel fuel and a lit rag, at the front of the Planned Parenthood clinic Tuesday night, and though it did not cause major damage or injuries, the attack may be cause for concern.

This particular Planned Parenthood did not perform abortions.  They serve 4,000 women in north Texas.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.


Note to the Christian fanatics:  Do not firebomb Planned Parenthood.  It just hacks off us liberals enough to open our wallets and donate more.