Archive for October, 2010

Well, At Least Bob Perry Put Some Madras Shorts On While Running Around In My Backyard

October 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Juanita told you about Bob Perry, of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and Karl Rove Is My BFF fame, gave $2,500 over the legal donation amount to one of our Republican district court judge candidates, Brady Elliott.

That was on October 19th.

Lookie what happened on October 20th:  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

Judge Brady Elliott returned his $2,500 ill-gotten gain, even though he told Bev Carter of The Fort Bend Star that “he has no plans of giving any of the contribution back.”  He did say, however, that he would “re-visit” the law.

Judge Brady Elliott

“You’re a stinkin’ judge,” Juanita stomps.  “Re-visit the law, my patootie!  I’m a little hairdresser.  How come I know more law than you do?”

Juanita is convinced that Elliott knew it was illegal when he took it.  He just didn’t plan on getting caught.  Juanita is voting for Albert Hollan and you should, too.

“I do not have time to babysit judges and their ethics,” she says.  “I am busy all day pushing back frontiers of bad hair.  I have enough to do without  adding the job of being district attorney.”

Yeah, but she’d be a darn good district attorney and everybody would straighten up and fly right.

Oooooohhhhhh, Mygoodnesssake …..

October 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Thank you, Mike, for letting us know about the cover of the Austin Chronicle.

The cover has a Rick Perry Halloween Mask and the fun that goes with it —

In any case, here’s how you can be like Rick this Halloween:

1) Pick up a copy of the Chronicle. Yeah, we know, that’s almost like dealing with the press, but it’s not like you’re answering any questions.

2) Demand that the federal government provide you with a pair of scissors. If the feds do offer you some, say you’ll only accept them if they break off one of the blades. If they refuse, threaten to sue and then just ask a campaign donor for a nice shiny pair.

Scamper on over and read the rest.  It’s a real treat!

Reason #1,284 Why Republicans Stink

October 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


They really, really stink.

Misleading fliers are showing up on the windshields of vehicles at a predominately African-American polling place in Houston that claim to come from a non-existent group called the “Black Democratic Trust of Texas.”

The fliers were placed on the windshields of vehicles at and near the Sunnyside Early Voting location and tell voters not to voter straight Democrat, according to Texas Democrats and local news reports.

The flier tells African American Democrats not to vote a straight ticket because that vote will register as Republican.  It’s nuts.

“Getting Republicans not to try to cheat black folks out of their vote is like trying to eat red beans with a pitchfork.  Republicans have messed with black folks for so long that now they can mess with black folks by pretending to warn against Republicans messing with black folks,” Juanita explains.

“I do not know how Republicans live with themselves,” she says.  “I understand they have a license to mean, but isn’t there a catch limit?”

An Absolutely True Story

October 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Okay, I’m going out of character here to tell you an absolutely true personal story, something I rarely do.  It’s a story any wife will love.

So, Channel 11 (the Houston CBS affiliate) calls me last week to ask if I’d come be a Democratic talking head about what the blogs are saying on election night. That sounded like bunches of fun so I agreed to do it.

Very proud of myself for getting noticed by the big boys, I call my husband and say, “Hey Bubba, Channel 11 wants me to come talk about what the blogs are saying on election night and make some snarky comments.”

There was a short silence. And then he asked, “on TV?”

“I imagine so,” I replied. “They are, after all, a TV station.” I then smugly awaited his thrill for his wife going on TV to talk politics.

His next statement? “I wonder why they didn’t ask Kuffner.”

I’m still not speaking to him and you can refer to him as Limping Bubba from now on.

Kuffner enjoyed this story, too.  Bless Bubba’s heart, he will suffer loads of teasing over this one.

I never have to worry about getting a big head.

Thursday Early Voting Toon

October 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Whatever Republican Women Have, It’s Contageous.

October 27, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Juanita is completely baffled by the pails of stoopid and insanity of female Republican candidates.

“It’s spreading all over the place and Texas is no exception,” Juanita admits.

“I offer you one Republican  State Representative candidate, Sarah Davis.  It appears that Ms. Davis was a delegate to the 2008 Democratic precinct convention and now even admits that she went on to the Democratic district convention.  It was her very first time to vote in either party’s primary.”

“However, Ms. Davis is now running for the Texas House against popular incumbent Democrat Ellen Cohen.  So, how does Ms. Davis explain her sudden conversion?

GOP hopeful Sarah Davis says she voted for Clinton in the 2008 primary, but it was only to stop Barack Obama.

“Quite honestly, I wasn’t totally aware of what the process was.”

Davis also told the paper she “accepted an invitation to attend the district convention as a delegate. ‘I don’t perceive that there has been some great switch from 2008,'” she said.

“Honey, you do not ‘accept an invitation’ to go to the Democratic district convention.  You have to run for that spot and run hard.  People were putting out contracts on other people to get to go the district convention,” Juanita  recalls.

“To make matters even more crazy, Ms. Davis has never voted in a Republican primary until she voted in the one for herself.  Oh wait, that’s not crazy – that’s Republican.  If it ain’t about them, they’re not interested.”

“So, no ‘great switch’ from supporting Hillary Clinton?” Juanita wonders.  “That is very cool.  Not many Republicans admit that.  In fact, probably none.”