Archive for June, 2010

Remember When?

June 28, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Remember when Republicans hated activist judges and thought local control was better than federal control?

“How long ago was that?” Juanita ponders.  “Oh yeah, yester-freekin-day!”

The Supreme Court ruled Monday that the Constitution’s “right to keep and bear arms” applies nationwide as a restraint on the ability of the federal, state and local governments to substantially limit its reach.

By a 5-4 vote split along familiar ideological lines, the nation’s highest court extended its landmark 2008 ruling that individual Americans have a constitutional right to own guns to all the cities and states for the first time.

“So, let me get this straight.  They are now against local control and they are now for activist judges.  Somebody write this down somewhere because they might need reminding of this flip flop in a day or two.  Or maybe in an hour.”

“I just wanna say one thing.  I am a gun owner.  I’m not one of those who thinks that nobody should own a gun.  But, I just have to wonder how damn tiny a guy’s winkie has to be for him to need a gun every damn place he goes?  And to force all the other under-endowed guys to carry one, too?”

“We’re gonna end up with a bunch of under-endowed guys shooting each other to death in church one Sunday morning,” she predicts.

“And that would be a bad thing because …..?” Thelma interrupts.

Juanita grins and continues her rant.  “And I also wonder about this argument that they need a gun to protect themselves from their government.  That might have made sense in 1776.  But lookie here, you bozos, the government has tanks and drones and nukes.   Your handgun ain’t gonna help matters much against a tank, no matter what ammo you use.  Do you think you have the right to own a nuke now days to protect yourself against the government?”

“Be careful.  Don’t give them any ideas, Juanita,” Verdelia warns.  “Dirt Janochek is already saving up to buy a hunting helicopter.”

State Convention Goodies

June 27, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Juanita and crew are home from the State Democratic Convention where she had a total ball.  No, seriously, she loves this stuff.

And, while there, she did a little shopping.  For example, there was this perfectly marvelous button, fit for any and all occasions.  Thelma is going to bedazzle it a little for Juanita, but here’s what she bought —

“Yeah, you wish you had one,” Juanita grins.  “You behave yourself this week and I’ll tell you where you can get one, too.”

And, of course, there’s fashion.  This tee-shirt will be gracing the beauty salon once Juanita adds a few sequins —

Juanita is unpacking tonight and will be ready to report on her experiences at the convention next week.

The best news is that we voted overwhelmingly to keep the Texas Two Step.  I like to think that it had something to do with my thoughts on the subject, but, more likely, it had something to do with the Texas Two Step being one of the best grassroots organizing tools in the country.

Juanita wants you to know something.  “We also passed a platform with no crazy crap in it.  That right there makes us better than Republicans.”

Friday Toon

June 25, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Corpus Christi Fun

June 24, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


So Juanita is in Corpus Christi at the State Democratic Convention and is enjoying herself.

The sun is out, there’s a great breeze, and – most importantly – no oil or teabaggers!

She seriously thought about taking her laptop with her tomorrow to the convention and then said, “Oh hell no, that’s blogger stuff.  I am not a blogger.  They won’t even let me join the blogger club.  I ain’t sitting there sending text messages to the person sitting next to me.”

So, you might get a report tomorrow night, or you might not.  That’s the chance you take when you depend on a unblogger for your news.

Meanwhile, Juanita is glad she left town, because apparently all hell broke loose in the beauty business after she left.

Almost There!

June 23, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


Okay, customers, the Democratic state convention is this weekend so the shop will be closed.

However, beware to anyone who might want to break in and steal Juanita’s beauty secrets because Verdelia and her shotgun are staying here and at Juanita’s house.

I’ll be posting pictures and updates from the convention.  Juanita is threatening to picket the Blue Dog Caucus.  She’s bringing poster board and markers just in case they start thinking they are Democrats in any way, shape or form.  In fact, she fully expects them to apologize to BP.  After all, it was a Texas Blue Dog Democrat who gave tax money welfare to the Texas Energy Center to research  more ways to drill offshore.

“They can kiss my big blue butt,” she says.  “Blue Dog Democrats are creepy people who are only concerned about getting elected.”


June 23, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Congressvarmint Louis Gohmert, a man so ugly that his cooties have to close their eyes, has also apologized to BP.  In fact, he took it to Hitler.

“No, I am not kidding,” Juanita says.  “Would I be kid about the pod aliens coming from a foreign planet and feasting the brains of Texas Republican Congressmen?  Okay, so maybe I would, but dammit this is serious bidness.  Texas Republican Congressmen have proven that insanity is contagious.”

“Louis does not believe that Obama is Hitler.  He just says that stuff to hear the Klan cheer,” she assures us.

“Louis is powerful ugly and dumber than bean dip.  Amen.”