Well, because everything is so dandy in Texas, our dutiful State Lege just passed House Bill 308 which —

… allows public school teachers to say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Hanukkah” and display Christmas trees, nativity scenes or menorahs. Winter displays must represent more than one religion or include secular symbols.

But while the legislation specifies that schools may not constitutionally favor one religion over another, the bill is named for only one religion — Christmas.

The War on Christmas is over in Texas.  The loser is an inclusive and loving Jesus Christ.

Let the bullying of non-Christian children commence.  It’s state sanctioned now.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

It happened in Georgia.

A man shooting squirrels at exclusive Ocean Forest on Sea Island with a .22-caliber rifle shot a woman on a golf course Sunday morning.

The victim was in stable condition Monday in intensive care after surgery, authorities said.

Glynn County police said Edward George Johnson of Forest Road called them at 11 a.m. to say he had accidentally shot someone on the Ocean Forest golf course.

I dunno if this is true or not, but my Grandpa told me that a .22 can travel a mile without stopping for a rest.  He wanted to impress upon me the importance of knowing what’s behind things you might miss, which in my case could be the side of barn.

Edward George Johnson needed a grandpa.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

I am a fifth generation Texan.  I have an inbred dislike of Oklahoma, born of college football rivalry.

Why doesn’t Texas slide into the Gulf of Mexico?  Because Oklahoma sucks.

And right now, we have a small contest on who has the suckiest Senators – Texas or Oklahoma.  Texas appears to be winning that one by a slight margin hardly worth mentioning.

I am a woman of faith so I am happy that people are praying.  But they need more than prayer.

I am not a fan of the Red Cross.  Maybe you are and that’s fine.  But, if you want to donate a couple of buck to put prayer into action, there’s other places.

I have a friend who was helped by Americare and speaks very highly of them.  Charity Navigator and the BBB give them high ratings.

The Salvation Army is there helping.   Donate online or text STORM to 80888 to contribute $10 to the Salvation Army’s relief efforts.

Operation USA in Los Angeles is on the way.

Please check out charities through the Charity Navigator before donating.

If you know of any other reputable agencies, please let us know.

Customer John lives in the gnawing belly of East Texas and sends us some insight into the pits of hell.

When you can’t understand why people in East Texas keep electing Louie Gohmert, Steve Stockman, and other assorted fools, here’s a bit of a hint:  sometimes they just don’t know any better.

Take the local newspapers for example.  Click the little one to get the big one or open it in a PDF because we are technologically sassy at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

This is the Tyler Morning Telegraph.  It’s an AP story which includes information that there is no evidence that President Obama ordered or even knew about the IRS targeting groups wanting tax exempt status.   You would not guess that from the headline, now would you?

And while the story includes the fact that other Presidents may have used the IRS for punishment of their political enemies, the headline indicates that President Obama is familiar to scandals.

When the AP files a story, local newspapers can and do write their own headlines.  The same story appeared in the Boston Globe except “Scandal” was replaced with “Allegations” in the headline as did the Fresno Bee, NBC News, and even KTUV.  Every other replay of the AP story used the word “allegation.”  The East Texas newspaper used “Scandal.”

And they put the story in the “FAITH” section.  Yes, they do still have freedom of religion in East Texas:  you can belong to any kind of Baptist Church you want to.  Why would political news headline the FAITH section of the local newspaper, you ask?   Because you have to accept on faith that Barack Obama has cloven hooves.

John promises to keep an eye out for more of this crapola.

Thanks to John for the heads up.

Quit looking smug, Virginia.  You got your share of crazies, too.

If a woman in Virginia has a miscarriage without a doctor present, they must report it within 24 hours to the police or risk going to jail for a full year. At least, that’s what would have happened if a bill introduced by Virginia state Sen. Mark Obenshain (R) had become law.

So, if you’re in a Virginia and have a miscarriage without a doctor present, you have to “within 24 hours, report the fetal death, location of the remains, and identity of the mother to the local or state police or sheriff’s department of the city or county where the fetal death occurred.”

State Sen. Mark Obenshain

That’s right.  Not a doctor.  The police.  You know – where you go to report a crime.  Where they will open a file with your name on it and the condition of the fetus.  And if you don’t, you face a year in jail and a $25,000 fine.

Now I’m not saying that every woman whose menstrual cycle is a week late should march herself to the sheriff’s department and say, “I think I may have had a miscarriage.  I need to report it in graphic detail for the purely prurient pleasure of state Sen. Mark Obenshain.

I am not saying that you should then mail a copy of the report to Sen. Mark Obenshain, P.O. Box 555, Harrisonburg, VA 22803 with a little smiley face on the front.

By the way, Mark Obenshain is running for Virginia Attorney General.  There will be a Democratic primary on June 11th to determine his Democratic opponent.  I’ll post the name of the winner if you remind me and we can all send him a dollar or two.

Rand Paul, a man so crazy that he could only have been sired in Texas, went on the Sunday morning teevee shows and said that the IRS had a “written policy” that said agency officials were ”targeting people who were opposed to the president.”

Oh really?

When CNN anchor Candy Crowley pressed Paul for details, the junior Kentucky senator revealed that he had only heard about the memo.

Rand kept insisting that the memo exists because he heard about it and – to add credibility to the existence of such a memo – he stated that it has “bullet points.”

Rand Paul

Oh dear God.  Bullet points.  We are so screwed.  You cannot make up bullet points.  Or worse yet, what if it’s a PowerPoint?  You can’t lie about imaginary PowerPoints.  Something bad will happen if you do.  Like maybe your hair will fall out and you have to train a squirrel to be still on your head.

Then he says —

“I haven’t seen a policy statement, but I think we need to see that.”

Okay, I am not suggesting that you haven’t seen it because it doesn’t exist.  I would never say that and ruin your chance at winning a Pulitzer Prize for fiction.  That would just be mean of me.

Next Up:  There was a written memo and the Democrats destroyed it.  Coming next week to a Sunday morning talk show near you.