Padding Your Resume the Ivanka Way

April 25, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

The new State Department spokeswoman is Heather Nauert of Fox and Friends fame.

If I didn’t think he’s probably Dick Cheney with better hair, I’d feel real bad for Rex Tillerson.  It’s obvious that they are not letting him run the State Department and now they named his spokeswoman based on her amazing foreign policy experience ….

During the controversy over Nordstrom dropping Ivanka Trump’s clothing line, Nauert tweeted out her support for the brand in spite of “liberal pressure,” and included a photograph of herself wearing the brand’s items.

Well, I guess I’m being harsh. Ivanka’s clothing line is made in some foreign place, so that counts.

Thanks to Rudie for the heads up.

Oh Jeffrey, Take To Your Fainting Couch Because Miss Scarlett is Here To Tell You, “No Damn Wall, Child.”

April 25, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

United States Attorney General Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions is standing by his man.  Jeffrey says that if Mexico doesn’t pay for the wall, the United States can start investigating Mexicans’ taxes.

Oh yeah, that sounds real constitutional.

Jeffrey is following his man by echoing Trump’s promise to get the money from Mexico “one way or another,” including kneecapping your grandmother for payment if she ever ate a tamale.

Bottom line: You have to have congressional approval to build the damn wall.  You’re not gonna get it. Every elected official along the Texas border – both Democratic and Republican – are opposed to it.

It’s dumb idea. It’s always been a dumb idea. And, thanks to Jeffrey, it’s getting dumber every day.

 

Because Fooling the People is Their Family Business

April 25, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Headline over at Business of Fashion.

 

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Ivanka’s clothing line isn’t selling well at SteinMart.  So they are taking her label out, feeling it to poor children and then hiring other poor children to make a different label.

I assure you, it’s all about helping the poor children.  I can’t think of any other reason why they’d do something like that.

 

*Almost* Sad

April 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

I am pretty much convinced that Trump’s people put him on drugs so he’d sleep instead of Tweet and quit making a disaster of himself several times a day.

Now he’s making a disaster of himself in. slow. motion.

If you haven’t read his interview with the Associated Press, please do.  Put down your coffee cup first because it’s gonna make you shake.

And then, to add a veil of *almost* sadness, President Barack Obama returned to public life today and spoke in full sentences.

By the way, the Washington Post just put up the interview with annotations.

Save the Date!

April 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Today is Confederate Memorial Day in some southern states.  You know, the ones that aren’t so united.

State government offices are closed Monday in Mississippi and Alabama for Confederate Memorial Day.

In Georgia the day has been called “State Holiday” since 2015, when Confederate Memorial Day and Robert E. Lee’s birthday were struck from the state calendar. The state holiday list says the official holiday is April 26 but will be observed this year on Monday, April 24.
Mississippi even has proclaimed April as Confederate Heritage Month.  “History deserves study and reflection, no matter how unpleasant or complicated parts of it may be,” sayeth Governor Phil Bryant.

Roll out the Stars and Bars and get drunk, Bubba.  Your day is here. Try real hard not to marry your sister.

Thanks to Robert for the heads up.

The Damn Wall

April 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

We here at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. do not believe that building a wall down the middle of the Rio Grande River is a good idea and that should be the end of it, but Donald Trump keeps insisting that he’s gonna build a wall.

Cost estimates run between $12 and $25 billion. Mexico is not going to pay for it, so there you have it.  We’re gonna spend all that money on a river wall instead of fixing our infrastructure, giving everybody healthcare, or making America great again.

Trump has told congress that he wants us to pay for the wall now and then Mexico will pay us back.

 

I am terrified of asking what “in some form” means.

Well, one thing we know for sure, Trump ain’t Popeye but he’s becoming a friend of Popeye’s –

Wimpy.  That character’s name is Wimpy.

I’m not kidding – that’s his name.

 

 

Thanks to Vonda for the heads up.