Time Cleverly Puts Horns on the “Person of the Year”

December 07, 2016 By: El Jefe

Time revealed its Person of the Year cover this morning, of course naming Cheeto Jesus to the title.  What was brilliant, though, is their strategic placing of devil’s horns on him.  Have a look:

trump-devil

It’s Trump Hump Day.

December 07, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Wednesday is famous only because it’s the furtherest away you can get from Saturday no matter which way you’re going.

And we all know what Saturday means!  Uh, in Trump World, that is.

 

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And he got that information at the same place he got the information about the 3 million illegal voters.

First of all, I think he’s unhealthily obsessed with Alex Baldwin. It’s Wednesday and he’s still talking about it. That’s how you know Baldwin is hitting grand slams with his imitation of Trump.

In an interview on NBC’s “Today” show on Wednesday, Trump was asked whether he had considered no longer watching it, given his complaints.

“I hosted ‘SNL’ when it was a good show, but it’s not a good show anymore,” Trump responded. “First of all, nothing to do with me, there’s nothing funny about it. The skits are terrible.”.

The Republican businessman said Baldwin’s depiction of him was “really mean-spirited and not very good.”

And for an expert in humor like Trump, you better believe it.

My friends, it is your sacred duty as Americans to make fun of Donald Trump every day.  And make sure he hears it.

Trumpelthinskin.

Go, Alex, Go!

 

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All New and Improved! Trumpcare!

December 07, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Okay, so Trump is going to repeal Obamacare the day after he’s inaugurated.  So, that means that the day after inauguration, 24 million people won’t have health insurance.

Of course, Trump can’t repeal Obamacare so his campaign promise is dumped in the lap of congress who, even though they tried to repeal it eleventy dozen times, has no clue what to replace it with.

Hell, they even met with Mike Pence about it and he didn’t have a clue either.

If you repeal it, you have to replace it with something.  Republicans don’t have even a tablespoon of something.

After meeting with Vice President-elect Mike Pence on Tuesday to hash out plans to repeal Obamacare, top Senate Republicans are no closer to resolving an issue that’s splintering the GOP heading into the start of Donald Trump’s presidency: how long to give themselves to replace the law.

You’d think after four years of trying to burn down the barn, they’d at least have the field cleared for the new barn.  But, no.  They do not.

One suggestion that keeps popping up from their agenda is that they don’t replace Obamacare until after the 2018 mid term elections. That alone tells you how popular they know it is.

Other Republican argue that they have to do it right away because it’s zombie apocalypse, except worse.

This is gonna be fun to watch because they’ll fight with each other for a piece of the insurance pie and diddle squat will happen.

Something Else To Worry About

December 07, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Okay, so there’s fake news. There is also goofy news. It ain’t fake, it’s real. But, it’s goofy.

Example:  Joe Biden answered a question.

“Yeah, I am. I am going to run in 2020,” Biden said when asked if he would run for office again. When asked what role he would seek, the 74-year-old vice president responded: “For president. And also, you know so, what the hell man, anyway.”

The vice president said, however, he wasn’t making a commitment to run when reporters asked if he was kidding.

So what they are saying is that Joe Biden may or may not run for president.  Dude, the same thing could be said about me.

Additionally, running or not running are pretty much the only two choices he has. There’s no middle ground so yeah, what the hell man, anyway.

 

Gun Nuts, Phony News, and Weirdo Conspiracy Theories

December 07, 2016 By: El Jefe

This week the gun culture, the proliferation of phony news, and weird conspiracy theories all collided in a pizza joint in Washington, DC, when a convicted criminal showed up with THREE firearms to “self-investigate” an idiotic story that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of a non-existent basement under the pizza joint. Oh, and one more thing – Cheeto Jesus and his merry band of weirdos constantly repost this manure. It’s a cancer on our society.  Mike Flynn’s son was fired from the transition, but what about his father and Bannon himself?  Breitbart is a sewer of lies, misogyny, racism, and these weird conspiracy theories.

Have you ever played RISK? You are now!

December 06, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación

When I first heard about Dat Guy’s phone call with the President of the government ON Taiwan (as the United States refers to that polity) I assumed he was too dumb to know better. That assumption was not shaken when, immediately in the aftermath, Dat Guy Tweet-whined “she called ME,” as if to say, “Hey, I was just being polite. It’s Not My Fault!”

There's Only One China... and several flags, it turns out.

There’s Only One China… and several flags, it turns out.

But recent reporting by the Washington Post and others has nameless functionaries involved in the transition leaking that tweaking China’s nose with Taiwan was Dat Guy’s “plan” all along. That “talks” had been going on for some time about what to do with those relationships. If so, no one seems to have notified the Resident-elect.

All the optics and leaks are so confusing, that we are left with three general explanations for what’s going on. None of them are what we’d call “good news.”

Bad News: Dat Guy knew all about the secret plan, was implementing it when he pretended to take her call for no particular reason other than she’d made it, then excoriated China in his subsequent tweets, all to strengthen his negotiating position by causing China to lose face, which, of course, they exist solely NOT to do. Then, some low-level morons leaked the secret plan to the Washington Post. Well, that would be bad, if they can’t even maintain a secret plan past the first week. And the leak would undo any leverage.

Worse News: There WAS no secret plan, and Dat Guy is so completely out of touch with world politics and diplomacy that he simply didn’t know Taiwan’s status, but couldn’t be seen to be such a stumble-bum. So they leaked to WaPo another of his schoolboy excuses: “I MEANT to do that.” That would be worse, to have the most powerful nation in the world run by a dilettante.

Worst news: There was a secret plan, but no one told Dat Guy, and they just steered him into what calls to return, unwittingly. Once he – or rather, the clueless cotillion of confederate catch-farts around him -figured it out, they leaked the plan as part of the internecine warfare that seems to have dogged this campaign since Paul Manafort came on board. That would be worst of all because the dilettante leader of the most powerful nation in the world will be a puppet controlled by a cabal of unelected creeps.

I lean towards this last explanation. Manafort’s influence on substantial policy was maintained by his acolytes even after he left the campaign. Its greatest influence was on the candidate’s already warm feeling towards the Slavic peoples on both a personal (wives 1 and 3) and professional (Alfa Bank, et al) level.

For that reason, language promoting relations with Taiwan and excoriating China was also in the GOP platform, overshadowed by the changes in the plank regarding Ukraine’s relationship to Russia.   The situations are analogous, but the GOP took TWO OPPOSITE TACKS in dealing with the territorial ambitions of the two major nuclear players on the Asian continent, including the one we really need to hold North Korea in check.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

In more of these “congratulatory” calls, Dat Guy has stepped squarely into the middle of a mess with Pakistan, stumbling around policy that seems to tighten our ties with their weak government, which is controlled by their military, and managed to upset India with moronic promises to broker a deal on Kashmir. In addition, GOP/Dat Guy’s policy on Afghanistan seems designed to allow that country to fall squarely into Pakistan’s sphere of influence.

All of this squares with the warm embrace of Putin and HIS ambitions, destabilizing American relationships from Istanbul to Islamabad, from Tehran to Taipei, from Budapest to Beijing.

It’s global thermonuclear Risk: in China and India, Resident-elect Dat Guy has managed to piss off 1/3 of the WHOLE WORLD POPULATION. But what’s worse is the destabilization of the delicate nuclear balance between not ONE, not TWO, but FIVE nuclear powers on the Asian continent: Russia, China, India, Pakistan and North Korea.

All in the first month since his election.

I don’t mind that Dat Guy doesn’t know everything about international diplomacy on Day Minus 50; I mind that he’s never seen an episode of The West Wing.

All the cool kids are binging it since 11/8

All the cool kids have been Netflix binging Jed Bartlet since 11/8/16 – wonder why?