This Ain’t Nepotism. This Is Cousin-Marrying.

April 26, 2015

Okay, so y’all know that Rick Perry is under indictment for extorting a public official.

Every time one of Perry’s lawyers files motions to dismiss this case on some technicality they get to talk to the hand of Lady Justice.  They’ve heard NO more times than an Aggie trying to date a UT sorority.

Well, it took them a while but it looks like the fix is in.  The latest judge in the case is one of Perry’s ex-lawyers.

Rick PerryRick Perry may be somewhat familiar with one of the judges picked to hear an appeal in the criminal case against him.

That’s because Justice Bob Pemberton has worked for the former governor, representing him in court as his deputy general counsel. After that job, Perry appointed him to the Third Court of Appeals, which is now considering a request from Perry’s lawyers to dismiss the abuse-of-power charges against him.

Pemberton also clerked for Tom Phillips, the retired chief justice of the Texas Supreme Court who is now on Perry’s defense team. Pemberton’s website features a photo of him being sworn in by Phillips — “his friend, supporter, and former boss.”

Oh yeah, Pemberton has also donated $1,000 to Perry’s political funds.

The prosecution has asked that Pemberton recuse himself.  So far, all anybody has heard from him is cricket chirping.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Preach It, Sid!

April 26, 2015

As you’ve probably guessed Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller is quickly becoming a favorite here at the beauty salon.

Not only is he a crook, a quintessential Good Ole Boy, and Ted Nugent crazy, he’s sadly obsessed with children’s school lunches.

Miller_Sid_2014_8583596_ver1.0_640_480His first act of office was to free the cupcakes, where he said that Texas would once again allow cupcakes in public schools.

Now he wants to return all the deep fryers to public school cafeterias because FREEDOM.

You think I’m joking, don’t you?

I would not joke about freedom.

Actual, real, not doctored quote from Sid Miller.

“I have proposed a new rule to allow school districts to install deep fat fryers and sell beverages like diet soda. I believe each school district – not the state or federal government – should decide what foods are offered to students… If a school district doesn’t agree with any of these changes, then the district doesn’t have to implement them. That’s the beauty here. It’s not about French fries; it’s about freedom.”

He’s completely serious, y’all.  He is the freekin’ King of Caca Del Toro.

I will bet you my best pair of pink boots that his brother-in-law is in the deep fryer business.  And his college roommate sells lard.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

See If You See This

April 24, 2015

Okay, here’s a Republican group of members of the Texas House praying for passage of a complete abortion ban in Texas.


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Notice anything?

Seriously, guys?

Rock and Roll

April 24, 2015

This is a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit.  I have a couple of these every year and it’s now for this one.

Texas and Oklahoma are having earthquakes because of fracking.  Heck, you don’t have to be a hula dancer to know that stuff is gyrating under your feet.  You can burn our water to stay warm in the winter.

In Oklahoma.

In an especially fractious split, the day after the state’s energy and environment cabinet acknowledged that the “recent rise in earthquakes cannot be entirely attributed to natural causes,” state lawmakers passed two bills to limit the ability of localities to decide if they want to allow fracking and drilling nearby.

And in Texas.

House lawmakers moved to bar cities from banning fracking and enacting a wide variety of other oil and gas-related ordinances in an action that critics call an affront to local control.

Backers rebuffed arguments that the bill would overturn ordinances that have long been in place in some cities.

I’d like to blame the GOP dominated legislature in Texas, but I can’t.  Many Democrats supported this bill, dammit.

DemocratDonkey_rightRepublicans can’t seem to explain why Federal overreach is bad but state overreach is good.  Democrats can’t seem to explain why they voted for something specifically addressed in the state party platform as being bad for Texas.

Everybody tells me that I can’t talk about the Democrats who bucked their party and the health and well-being of their constituents.  Democrats are a minority in Texas so we have to stick together, they say.

I say caca del toro.

If you don’t walk like a Democrat and talk like a Democrat, then you’re not a Democrat.

Look, I don’t expect my politicians to vote like I want them to 100% of the time. But on issues of public safety and Texas water, I expect them to come down on the side of the party platform. I did not spend three weeks of my life helping to draft a platform only to have them crap all over it.

One of my friends suggested that maybe these Democrats had made a deal and will get something in exchange.  Maybe so. But it better be more than a damn suitcase full of money. They better have walked out of that smoke filled back room with more than smoke in their eyes. And if they made a deal, they have more faith in Republicans sticking to deals than I do.

The next time I am asked why Democrats in Texas don’t vote, I’m going to give them a list of the Democrats who sold us out over fracking.  

Dammit.  Dammit.  Dammit.

Ted in Bed (Edited)

April 24, 2015

You all know how strongly Ted Cruz feels about gay people and marriage equality.  Heck, they have a whole webpage outlining his hate, hate, hate, of all things gay. gay, gay.

But that only applies to gay who don’t have loads of money.

Senator Ted Cruz has positioned himself as a strong opponent of same-sex marriage, urging pastors nationwide to preach in support of marriage as an institution between a man and a woman, which he said was “ordained by God.”

But on Monday night, at a reception for him at the Manhattan apartment of two prominent gay hoteliers, the Texas senator and Republican presidential hopeful struck quite a different tone.

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Yes, but these were like gay with money which is not at all like regular gays in Cruz’s book.  If you’ve got money you’re willing to give Ted Cruz, you’re exempt from his hate fantasies.

I dunno diddle squat about gays in New York but gays in Texas don’t come anywhere near the level of self-loathing that would let them pose with Ted Cruz.

So I imagine it was a fun night on all sides.

On Edit – I was just told that the event as not a fundraiser.  It was just a dinner.  So, that tells me that any money that was exchanged was done under the table, so to speak.

Thanks to Glen for the heads up.

Friday Toons

April 24, 2015