Friday Toons

March 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

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Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

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“Spine-ectomy”

March 24, 2017 By: El Jefe

Shockingly, the General Services Administration (GSA) issued a determination letter yesterday that the lease of the old post office in Washington, DC, now known as the Cheeto International Hotel, is VALID, even though it states in plain language in the lease that, “No … elected official of the Government of the United States … shall be admitted to any share or part of this Lease, or to any benefit that may arise therefrom…”   Stupidly, the letter hides behind the fact that Cheeto Jesus put this business in a trust.  Yes, it is in a trust – a revocable trust, run by his children.

The Daily Beast interviewed George Washington University Professor of Government Procurement Law Steven L. Schooner who said, “Not only is the conclusion unexpected and unpersuasive, as a matter of law, but, as a matter of policy, it is harmful to the integrity—and thus credibility—of GSA, the Presidency, and federal procurement process.” When asked how the GSA could come to the conclusion it did he gave a simple reason, “Spine-ectomy.”

So lets lay this out in plain language – the GSA employee who negotiated the contract, Kevin Terry, has just stated publicly that his boss’s boss, who is in clear, undeniable conflict of interest, is not actually in conflict of interest, even though he is the highest elected official in the land.  It’s basically “Nothing to see here, move along.”

If you had any doubt, this is what creeping corruption looks like.  We are becoming Russia, one lease at a time.

I’m Following Along. Join In.

March 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

It’s 12:22 Texas time and I just saw this on the repeal Obamacare vote count –

CBS News reports that 31 GOP House members “cannot support the bill in its current form.”
NBC News says there are 30 who are “against the bill or leaning against it.”
Huffington Post says 29 are “extremely likely to be against” the bill.
The Hill finds 29 who are still against the bill.
New York Times finds 29 “no” votes.

Juanita’s Head Count is 29 nos

Also, the GOP may be losing some moderate votes by adding things the Freedom Caucus likes.

3:01 Texas Time — they are putting off the vote until tomorrow so some Republican representatives can wake up with a horse’s head in their beds.

 

 

Because Poor People Have Too Damn Much Money

March 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

I am so damn mad that I could jump start my car without cables.

The typical family making less than $10,000 will lose $1,420 if the Republican health care plan passes, a cut that amounts to almost one-third of their income. Meanwhile, the average family making $200,000 or more would gain $5,640, according to a new analysis from the Tax Policy Center and the Urban Institute’s Health Policy Center.

Man, that sucks like an Electrolux.

And God only knows how many middle income or pre-existing condition people they plan on killing before they get finished with the horse trading today.  Well, they’ll probably have to trade shetland ponies instead because there’s ain’t a Republican in congress as smart as a horse.

 

We’ve Got Troubles UPDATED

March 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

So, I woke up this morning thinking about the terrorist attacks in London, Republicans wanting to take health insurance away from 24 million Americans, a hearing for a Supreme Court Justice while the actual Supreme Court overruled him 8-0, investigations into the president’s participation in collusion with the Russians to steal our president election, Rex Tillerson not wanting to be Secretary of State so there, and the head of the House Select Committee on Intelligence scampering around like a squirrel to report to Donald Trump.

And this on the front page of my local newspaper. And it made the New York Times.

 

 

Yeah, Rick Perry took time out of his overloaded loafing schedule to pitch a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit that his alma mater, Texas A&M University, elected the first openly gay guy to be student body president. And that’s REAL. IMPORTANT to Rick.

Perry, oddly, claimed that the election was stolen and here’s the reason why I say it is odd:  because the gay guy’s opponent was disqualified because he violated the rules of the election and Perry thinks that’s unfair.

Holy. Damn. Crap.

So Rick Perry thinks elections are knife fights and have no rules?

Seriously, Perry wrote letters to the editor, called every newspaper in Texas and considering his reputation, probably tried to go get laid, because a gay guy got elected student body president.

Hey Rick, a goofy guy got elected president because he colluded with communists but do I see you whining about that?

But here’s the money quote.  Rick said that the “outcome that would never have been allowed were he not a straight, white male.”

Yes, straight white males are sooooo discriminated against —

 

And there’s this:

“He’s always been a great proponent for Texas A&M. I’m surprised that he’s weighing in. I’m surprised he would have the time to do that,” the spokeswoman, Amy B. Smith, told the newspaper. “There’s rules here. Somebody lost and somebody won, and that’s always tough, but it was just a surprise to see this.”

Yeah, Ms. Smith, it’s a tough job but somebody has to keep the presidency of anything in the hands of straight white males no matter the rules and apparently that somebody is Rick Perry.  Do you think for even a minute that if this contested race was between two straight white males that Rick Perry would have weighed in?

UPDATED:  The Dallas Morning News found a possible motivation for Perry’s outburst.  The straight white male who was disqualified is named McIntosh —

McIntosh, a senior, is the son of Dallas-based Republican fundraiser Alison McIntosh, who worked on Jeb Bush’s 2016 campaign and Mitt Romney’s 2012 run for president. Perry, twice a presidential hopeful himself, is featured in photographs with McIntosh’s other children on Facebook.

Perry is a money slut.

 

When His Lips are Moving

March 23, 2017 By: El Jefe

Time magazine interviewed Cheeto Jesus yesterday and questioned him about lies and lying.  Like Sarah Palin, when caught in a lie, CJ engages in word salad; in this interview, he went to the Defcon 4 of word salad.  Here is the  textbook example, when answering a question about him continually calling the credibility of the intelligence community into question:

“I’m not saying—no, I’m not blaming. First of all, I put Mike Pompeo in. I put Senator Dan Coats in. These are great people. I think they are great people and they are going to, I have a lot of confidence in them. So hopefully things will straighten out. But I inherited a mess, I inherited a mess in so many ways. I inherited a mess in the Middle East, and a mess with North Korea, I inherited a mess with jobs, despite the statistics, you know, my statistics are even better, but they are not the real statistics because you have millions of people that can’t get a job, ok. And I inherited a mess on trade. I mean we have many, you can go up and down the ladder. But that’s the story. Hey look, in the mean time, I guess, I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m president, and you’re not. You know. Say hello to everybody OK?”

I’ll just leave this right here.