Friday Toons

January 30, 2015

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Holy Crap: Real Christian Edition

January 29, 2015

Thank Sweet Jesus that there was a real Christian on the steps of the state capitol where Muslim Americans were scheduled to speak after their day in the legislature.

As the group of Muslims continued the event by singing “The Star-Spangled Banner,” the interruptions persisted, with the protesters yelling, “Islam is a lie!” and “No Sharia here!”

Now you tell me which one is the jihadist.

Thanks to everyone for the heads up.

No Homework? Ka-powey!

January 29, 2015

Even though it has been proven time and time again that where there’s more guns, there’s more homicides, the Texas Lege will consider not only arming teachers but give them to right to use deadly force, even in the protection of school property.

The bill is sponsored by Dan Flynn, a cowboy Republican.

DanSusan_April2013The Lone Star State already permits teachers to have firearms in the classroom, but H.B. 868, also known as the Teacher’s Protection Act, would authorize instructors to use “force or deadly force on school property, on a school bus, or at a school-sponsored event in defense of the educator’s person or in defense of students of the school that employs the educator.” Instructors would also have the right to use deadly force “in defense of property of the school that employs the educator.” Moreover, civil immunity would be granted to those who use deadly force, meaning they would not be liable for the injury or death of student.

I do not understand how school teachers can be held unaccountable for injury or death to a child.  We just give them a Get Out of Jail Free card?  They can’t be sued?

Arming teachers has not worked too well.  You can ask The Google.  They tend to shoot themselves and the custodian.

Thanks to Vicki and Larry for the heads up.

Hey, Molly, It’s Not the Muslims Who Are Threatening State Representatives! You’re Thinking of the Open Carry Thugs.

January 29, 2015

I want y’all to meet Republican State Representative Molly White.

Screen Shot 2015-01-29 at 12.30.10 PMMolly is sweet little Christian thing who just got herself elected to the Texas House by the people of Bell County.  Molly defeated a moderate Republican incumbent in the GOP primary.

Yesterday was Texas Muslim Capitol Day.  The event is organized by the Texas chapters of the Council on American-Islam Relations.  It is meant as a day where members of the Muslim community can lobby lawmakers.

Molly ran home.  Seriously.  She vacated the capitol.  It was fine with her for the Open Carry hoodlums to threaten a member of the legislature, requiring him and his family to have a security detail, but Muslims …. well, that’s just going too far.

She tweeted — (Click the little one to get the big one.)

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Now, how Molly plans on having her secretary enforce that is unclear.  I’m hoping maybe she can broker a Middle East agreement.

I’m wondering if I visit her office, do I have to renounce Timothy McVey and the KKK?

And I dunno know about you, but I think she should have a Texas or American flag on her desk.

For Sale: One Slightly Ostentatious Mansion

January 29, 2015

Y’all, it just so happens that my birthday is in June, just in time for Mitt’s house to go on the market

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I have a confession to make.  I know why God did not let me be rich.  My house has two stories.  Every time I want something it’s on the wrong floor.  If I need a measuring tape while I’m downstairs, it’s upstairs.  If I need it when I’m upstairs, I moved it downstairs the day before. Can you even imagine me with three houses?  I’d spend day and night flying between them hunting for the measuring tape.  However, I imagine that Mitt is so rich that he has three measuring tapes so he can have one at each house.  I hope it’s on the wrong damn floor.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

We Have To Talk About Rick Perry. We Just Have To.

January 29, 2015

I’m sorry, but Rick Perry has got loco camped out in his eyes again.

Two days ago a judge, who Perry thought was bought and paid for, refused to dismiss Perry’s felony indictment.  This ain’t the first time the heat’s been turned up on Perry’s indictment.

Conservatives (and even some liberals who didn’t read the entire story) say that Perry is being charged for exercising his constitutional right to a veto.  That’s not correct.  He was indicted for what amounts to extortion of a public official. Contrary to popular conservative belief, that’s still illegal in Texas.

So, first off, Perry sends out an email and a Tweet for people to come stand behind him by signing up at his website.

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So, when you go there, this is what you get.  Holy cow!  The entire weight of the Rule of Law is riding on Rick Perry’s shoulders.  “Continued prosecution of Rick Perry is an outrage and sets a dangerous precedent in our Democracy.”  Yeah, Big D Democracy.

Outrage is an aphrodisiac for Republicans.  Eau de Outrage is a big seller at the country club.

And then bless Rand Paul’s heart, he forget which state Perry was Governor of.

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Wait a minute!  Wait a damn minute!  Government bullies?  This is red, red, red Texas. Democrats do not have bully drilling rights in this damn state.

So here Democrats sit, accused of being bullies because we didn’t let Rick Perry bully us.

In my mind, what Rick Perry did is bully without the y.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.