Freedom! Liberty! Louie’s Pit!

December 03, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Texas Republican Congressvarmint Louie Gohmert is fighting for liberty, y’all.  And Freedom and crap.

Louie took to the House floor to make a speech about the federal government interfering with his barbequing rights.  Holy hell, y’all, this is serious.  We’re talking barbeque.

“About seven years ago, the Architect of the Capitol, who works for the House and Senate, had decided that we all work for him and started making demands. One of which was, I could not cook ribs and share them with other members of Congress,” Gohmert said.

Liberty!  Gohmert wants some damn Liberty!

Gohmert says he cooked ribs on his office balcony “quarterly” up until seven years ago.  Then some government agent came along and said that an open fire the House hasn’t always ended up very well.  Now what’s he supposed to do?  Cook somewhere else?  You know, like people who don’t have an office balcony?

I ain’t saying that Louie seems to be having a plenty easy time buying barbeque.  And I wonder if his congressional friends know he ain’t doing the cooking of these “great” ribs.  Or his $6668 barbeque?

Our friend John says there are only four balconies in the House Office building and none of them appear to belong to Louie Gohmert.  I am under the assumption that they all belong to us. And in my mind, they should be used properly – to roast weenies.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Ole Fake Sid

December 03, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

As you know, Texas Ag Commish Sid Miller is a bubble off plumb.

He has the Texas Regional Distributorship of fake news, including announcing that both Barack and Michelle Obama lost their law degrees due to ethics charges, calling Hillary Clinton the C word, and comparing refugees to venomous snakes.

Miller_Sid_2014_8583596_ver1.0_640_480But now he’s changed his mind about all that.

Because … yeah, it’s gotten personal.

It seems that Miller went out to dinner at an Amarillo restaurant and was not happy with his meal.

Insulted by the food, Miller left a note for OHMS staff on the back of his receipt: “Terrible steak not a rib eye more like prime rib which I hate and I paid 34.00 for mac and cheese,” he wrote. Instead of his name, Miller signed the bill “Terrible meal!”

The restaurant, which generally gets good reviews, has a different side.

Guy came in and didn’t like the steak. We offered him something different, and he declined and then left his business card in his plate of food and then left his business card again and guest checkbook with a note in it and said he was unhappy with his meal,” said Josh Fuller, OHMS Cafe and Bar Chef and Manager.

Okay, so here’s what I think.  I think Ole Sid refused a replacement meal and dropped his business card everydamnwhere because he wanted them to comp the meal.  He didn’t want to be happy, he wanted to be cheap. I bet he ate the steak anyway.

So, Ole Sid, who admits he did this, then took to Facebook and called this “fake news.”  He also said that his note was “private” and “constructive criticism.”  Sid said that he himself “appreciates” constructive criticism.  You know, except when he gets caught stealing from taxpayers or using his campaign contributions illegally.

No, Sid, fake news would be if someone said you are an honorable gentleman and a great public servant.

Fake news, my patootie.  This is just a day in the life of pathetic Sid.




Here’s The Deal

December 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

I am back from two weeks without much of an internet machine connection.  Yes, it was fabulous.

First of all, I deeply and sincerely thank Primo and El Jefe for keeping the beauty salon open and the floors swept.

It is my desire that they continue to blog here whenever the spirit moves them – as much or as little as they want to.

I’m back.  It’s the holidays.  I am merry and filled with mischief.

Let’s play ball!


Grab The Tape, Honey, My Tie is Acting Weird

December 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

First bobbie pins in his hair, now tape on his tie.  Donald Trump’s tie secret.

Okay, I have myownself wondered why Trump wears his ties so long.  Maybe to cover his zipper, you know, in case he forgets to zip and everybody could see his small hands. I dunno. I figure that’s as good a guess as any.



GQ is not amused.

Donald Trump, the future president of the United States, scotch tapes the back of his tie to the front.

You see, because the President-elect doesn’t leave enough slack on the thin end to reach the built-in loop, he’s left with an unmoored sliver of silk that threatens his commanding suited man presence. And again, his solution is to use scotch tape, the very adhesive that’s sitting next to you at your desks right now, to connect the two pieces. Sad!

Sad? No. Goofy as hell? There ya go.

Thanks to Epp for the heads up.

Burn, Baby, Burn

December 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

You know how Donald Trump wants to take away someone’s citizenship if they burn the American flag?

Well, here’s how he and Kellyanne Conway think the flag should be displayed.



Personally, I think the tightie whities add such a respectful touch.

Anybody want to make a bet that these Donald Trump housecoats will be available through the Shopping Network just in time for Christmas?

Thanks to Warren for the heads up.

Friday Toons

December 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself