Highway 91 between Midland and Odessa is where bad people go when they die.

Seriously, the devil lives there.

There’s a church there who claims to be all about love.  It’s called the Southwest Baptist Church.  Over to the right is a picture of the pastor and his family.  I have seen a smile before and, Honey, his wife ain’t smiling.  That’s gritting her teeth.  That right there is a desperate plea for help.

Anyway, this Baptist Church claims to be all about love, love, love.

Yep.  So they put up this sign that I suspect is meant to be an instruction manual on how to love.

Okay, the way I read that, I can’t do the wild thing with a man.

Bubba is gonna be real disappointed.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

It’s easy as hell to eat on $4.50 per day and congressmen who are trying the SNAP challenge are overpaying for groceries.

Donny

Donny Ferguson, Texas Congressjerk Steve Stockman’s communications director and agriculture policy adviser, announced that he walked his hiney down the street to the grocery store and bought enough food for a week “for just $27.58, almost four dollars less than the $31.50 “SNAP Challenge” figure.”

I don’t believe it.

I don’t think Donny understood that you have to eat all three meals off the $31.50 a week, and that fancy lunches with lobbyists don’t count nor do the donuts at the congressman’s morning coffee.

Congresswart Stockman and Donnie think SNAP recipients are eating high off the hog for $4.50 a day.  If that is true, then let’s make $4.50 a day the limit for reimbursing meals for traveling congressional staff. Huh, Donnie, how about them hot dogs?

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

This makes two in one day.

Meet Congresstoad Kenny Marchant.   Yeah, Kenny.

CongressToad Kenny

Kenny is scared of immigrants.  He hollers like a little girl at the mention of immigration reform.  In all fairness, there’s a lot about Kenny that is like a little girl so this immigrant thing isn’t surprising.

You wanna know why Kenny thinks immigration reform is real, real scary?

The proposed immigration overhaul “is very unpopular in my district,” said Marchant, who represents suburbs west of Dallas. “The Republican primary voters, they’re being pretty vocal with me on this subject.” Besides, he said, “if you give the legal right to vote to 10 Hispanics in my district, seven to eight of them are going to vote Democrat.”

Yeah, Kenny, and the #1 way to make that happen is to oppose immigration reform.  You know, maybe if you were concerned about the needs of immigrants and welcome them like Jesus told you to do, they would vote for you.

Go on, Kenny, keep whining like a little girl.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

There are 4 horrible, invasive, and pig ignorant abortion bills facing the Texas House during the special session.  These bills will come damn close to making safe and legal abortions unavailable in Texas.

We may storm Austin.  I may need those of you who can get to Austin to come help us on Thursday evening.  I will let you know when we know more.

Meanwhile, we have a flag.

Thank you God, it is North Carolina this time.

A major gun-rights bill took an unexpected turn Tuesday with a proposal to eliminate the law that requires people receive a permit from their county sheriff before they can buy a handgun.

Yes Dude, that is exactly what we need – more mentally disturbed people and felons with guns.  THAT is exactly what has been missing in North Carolina.

They also want to be able to carry their handguns into bars and other places that serve alcohol, because what’s more fun than a drunk with a pistol?  I mean, it’s not like fights ever break out in bars anyway.

Buck Newton, The Enhancing Man

“We’re here to enhance our Second Amendment rights, which have been too long restricted by the previous majority,” said Sen. Buck Newton, a Republican who represents parts of Johnston, Wilson and Nash counties.

Yeah, let’s do some enhancing!  Let’s let kids carry guns and convicted dope dealers.  Let’s enhance the hell outta North Carolina.

Why limit it to just people – how about monkeys?  Can monkeys have guns?  And no, I am not being tacky by suggesting that Buck Newton has a strong resemblance to most primates.  Okay, maybe a little tacky.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

I do not want to talk about this.  I really don’t.  It’s embarrassing, even for me.

Texas Congressvarmint (oh yes, Texas) Michael Burgess who represents Denton County north of Dallas, has very strong feelings about abortion.  I do, too.  My strong feelings are that Michael Burgess has no business telling me what I can and cannot do with my uterus.

Burgess has announced that he thinks legislation to ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy is too liberal — he wants the line moved to 15 or 16 weeks.  Do you want to know why?

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful. They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”

This dude is an OB/GYN and he does not even know that a 15 week fetus doesn’t even have a developed central nervous system.  Y’all, this guy sitting around intently watching sonograms for signs of fetal masturbation is sick.  Somebody please get him a subscription to the Playboy channel before he totally creeps me out.

Okay, so it’s only male fetuses who touch their stuff?  Females don’t do that?  Dude, I’ve got some real bad news for you about your wife.  That vibrator ain’t for her sore neck like she told you.

Now I have a question for all you parents out there.  How many of your newborns had purposeful movements?  Hell, mine weren’t all that bright but they zonked their baby rattles on their heads and flailed around like all get out.

No matter what this sick quack says, fetuses don’t tap dance, date their twin sister, or do algebra.

Thanks to all my outraged friends for the heads up.