A Spectacle Hard to Watch

August 22, 2017 By: El Jefe

Cheeto Jesus didn’t disappoint tonight in his appearance for devotees in Phoenix.  He shoveled manure in copious quantities.  A few of his gems:

  1. He reread his Saturday Charlottesville statement, but left out the “many sides” line.
  2. Announced that indeed his first pardon was going to former Joe Arpaio, convicted criminal and country’s third most notorious racist.  (Number one is Cheeto Jesus, of course, followed by David Duke.  Luckily, Duke is not currently convicted of any race crimes, so no pardon currently needed.  However, since Charles Manson is not eligible for parole until 2027, Trump could well go for him next.)
  3. Lies again about Washington’s statues.
  4. He’s going to cancel NAFTA.
  5. The media is the real enemy that caused the violence in Charlottesville. That’s right, it wasn’t the racists wearing body armor and carrying clubs; it was those panty waist reporters.
  6. He was hoping to take candy away from a kid on stage, but apparently they couldn’t find a kid willing to go up there.

It was Trump’s normal appalling performance that we have come to expect and continues to make us the laughingstock of the world.

Well, they would be laughing if he didn’t have the nuclear codes.  I just wish someone would tell this stupid sumbitch that the election is over, and he doesn’t need to do this (but for his insatiable ego).

 

Here’s the Deal

August 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Everybody is a little nervous.

 

Start checking them off for me.

I’m will be gloriously involved with baseball tonight but will check to approve comments between innings.

I’m saying he’s gonna hit 4 out of 7.  Maybe all 7 if somebody read the article to him.

 

Whatever You Do, Please Do NOT Bless Her Heart. EDITED

August 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Okay, this probably wouldn’t be too bad if this woman was not married to the damn Treasury Secretary.  And he is old enough to be her father.

The wife of the Treasury secretary on Monday night took a page from President Trump’s social media playbook for punching down.

Louise Linton, the labels-loving wife of Steven Mnuchin, replied condescendingly to an Instagram poster about her lifestyle and belittled the woman, Jenni Miller, a mother of three from Portland, Ore., for having less money than she does.

Here’s the deal.  Ms. Snotty’s just couldn’t wait to post a picture of herself getting off a government airplane and then listed all the fancy pants clothes she was wearing. #rolandmouret, #hermesscarf, #tomford and #valentino.

Honey, if you have to do that, it means you have nothing going for you except things to cover your scrawny butt.

So, a woman in Oregon, simply replied to Louise’s public Instagram account, “Glad we could pay for your little getaway. #deplorable.”

That set Louise on fire, and she replied with a rants that would make Donald Trump look modest.

“Aw!!! Did you think this was a personal trip?! Adorable!” she wrote. “Do you think the US govt paid for our honeymoon or personal travel?! Lololol. Have you given more to the economy than me and my husband? Either as an individual earner in taxes OR in self sacrifice to your country?”

Ms. Linton went on: “I’m pretty sure we paid more taxes toward our day ‘trip’ than you did. Pretty sure the amount we sacrifice per year is a lot more than you’d be willing to sacrifice if the choice was yours.” After that, she included emojis of a curled bicep and a face blowing a kiss.

“You’re adorably out of touch,” she said, later adding, “your life looks cute” before concluding, “Go chill out and watch the new game of thrones. It’s fab!”

Yeah, but you know what, Louise, there’s some things some women won’t do for money.

Louise, in a act of courage, immediately made her account private so the woman in Oregon, or I suppose any other poor people, could respond.

So I will.  Louise, you are a ho and we won’t even add Bless Your Heart to it.  But, you know, lollollol.

EDITED

Oh dear Lord, did I forget to mention where Ms. Louise of the Hermes Scarf was going when she posted the picture?

Yeah, Fort Knox.  Seriously.  You don’t think she waited in the plane while her husband went, now do you?

Can’t you just see all those guys kneeling down and worshipping at that particular location?

 

The UnUnited States of Bannon

August 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Well, Bannon is throwing caution to the wind over at Breitbart.  Here’s a way you can kinda see most of it without having to actually go to Breitbart because you shouldn’t go there because there’s some things you can’t unsee.

Breitbart News, with former White House chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon back in charge, is ripping mad at President Trump after Monday’s Afghanistan speech foreshadowed an increase in ground troops.

Yeah, let’s send more troops.

 

How about Uday and Qusay here getting their driver to take them on down to the enlistment office?

Or maybe Jarred?  I mean, LBJ’s son in law served in Vietnam while Johnson was president so it’s not like something that would be weird.

You know what would make me happy?  Trump and Bannon at war.  Happy dance.

 

 

 

Louie!

August 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Y’all, it’s our favorite growling poodle, Louie Gohmert, Republican congressvarmint from deep east Texas.

Louie went on Fox News and explained trigonometry and performed brain surgery right there on the damn teevee, by gawd.

And then, as an encore, he attempted to one-up noted Republican scholar and part time congressman Bryan Zollinger by explaining Charlottesville.

Gohmert even claims there are “witnesses” who saw KKK and Black Lives Matters protesters get off the same buses in Charlottesville, implying they were simply paid actors by Democrats. Gohmert urged Trump to appoint an independent counsel to investigate Democrats, even though presidents do not, and cannot, appoint independent counsels.

Oh Honey, there’s movies.  Of course there’s movies.  And as a bonus, Louie explains how he could have saved America in 2005 but “they” wouldn’t listen to him.

 

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for Louie Gohment who always puts things in perspective.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up. 

Science Denier Uses Science When Convenient

August 21, 2017 By: El Jefe

Cheeto Jesus made an appearance with family members today on the Truman balcony at the WH to witness the solar eclipse.  Here is Trump and Melania:

So, here’s my question – Why did Trump come out to the balcony? Why did he (eventually) put on protective glasses to witness the solar eclipse? Why did he do that?  How did he know what time to come out and what the proper glasses were to protect his eyes?  Did he just make it up?  Did an evangelical pastor give him a prophecy?  Of course not; the answer to all these questions is science…astronomy, physics, math, astro-mechanics.  There was no guessing about it.  We knew exactly when the eclipse would happen.  There was even an app that could tell people by zip code when to watch.  It’s easy.

As we all know (except for a few ignorant flat earthers), the solar eclipse that transversed the entire US was predicted by scientists down to the second for each precise location where one might want to watch.  Scientists and engineers also developed the precise eye protection that was manufactured by the millions to protect people’s eyes from damage due to exposure to the sun.  They knew exactly what to do.  In addition to all that whiz-bang, scientists have already set the date and time for the next US solar eclipse in 2024.  The path is calculated, and the times are already known. That’s some bad voodoo if you ask me; or conversely, damn good science.

So, here’s the question – Why, when science and math nails the exact time and place of a solar eclipse that millions believe, that science about climate change is then dismissed out of hand?  What about medical science that develops vaccines?  What about immunology that predicts, calculates and fights pandemics of exotic diseases?

Donald Trump is one of the most cynical science deniers to ever occupy the WH.  While believing the science that predicts solar eclipses, or being completely confident in the astro-physics that calculates targets for our nuclear arsenal, why does he deny other science? Is he stupid?

That’s easy.  He is certainly stupid, but he’s also a narcissist that plays to the adoring hordes of ignorant shitheads who respond only to manure shoveled by the truckload.