You Know I’m At The Ballpark, But ….

May 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Oh my God, Republicans are now body-slamming reporters?

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Okay, That Does It

May 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

I’m moving to Corpus Christi and running for congress, dammit.

Republican congressman Blake Farenthold often gets talked about at the beauty salon.  That’s because he is a gluttonous, gap-toothed, knuckle dragging, ducky pajama wearing, idiot man who is as worthless as a four card flush.

All over the news is a story about Sean Hannity ranting for weeks about the young man killed in Washington, DC being the source of the DNC leaks.  It is fake news, has been proven to be fake news, and the murder victim’s parents and brother have begged Hannity to stop it.  Fox News and Hannity have backed off the story and one particularly insane story about it has been removed from the Fox News website.

Everyone thought this conspiracy theory went the same way as the story that Hillary Clinton ran a child pornography ring in the basement of a Washington, DC pizza joint that doesn’t even have a basement.

But, no, some damn fool told Blake about it.

And Blake says we need to investigate it because “it’s on the internet.”

Out loud.  He said that crap out loud.  Hellfire, there’s even a video of it on CNN.  Click right here and watch it yourownself.  Or here it is right here.


You wanna know what else is circulating on the internet, Blake? That you are a really, really bad human being.  And stoopid. Real damn stoopid.  Dumber than dog dump stoopid.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

There Are No Words

May 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Oh holy crap.


Ivanka looks like Bride of Satan and Melania bought everything she could find at the Italian Widow Boutique.

The expression on The Pope’s face is priceless.  This picture alone is worth the price of the trip.

Thanks to Ibis for the heads up.

Lovin’ Those Tyrants UPDATED!

May 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Donald Trump has found a new hero.  Rodrigo Duterte, who is “president” of the Philippines got a phone call from Trump last April that went like this …

“I just wanted to congratulate you because I am hearing of the unbelievable job on the drug problem. Many countries have the problem, we have a problem, but what a great job you are doing and I wanted to tell you that.”

That would be kinda nice except for the fact that Duterte believes in shoot drug dealers and addicts from the backs of motorcycles, and has made news around the world about it.  He’s even claimed to have personally killed a few himself to show how it’s done.

“Hitler massacred three million Jews [sic], now, there’s three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them,” he said in September. Last month, he told a group of jobless Filipinos that they should “kill all the drug addicts.” Police have killed over 7,000 people, devastated poor areas of Manila and other cities, and used the drug war as a pretext to murder government officials and community leaders.

You don’t like your boss at work – report him as a drug addict.  Don’t like what reporters are writing about you – they’re all drug addicts.

Now that’s an idea Trump would love.

Thanks to Greg for the heads up.

UPDATED!  Well, I just learned that he told Duterte military secrets in the same damn conversation.

U.S. President Donald Trump told his Philippine counterpart that Washington has sent two nuclear submarines to waters off the Korean peninsula, the New York Times said, comments likely to raise questions about his handling of sensitive information.

Trump told Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte Washington had “a lot of firepower over there”, according to the New York Times, which quoted a transcript of an April 29 call between the two.

“We have two submarines — the best in the world. We have two nuclear submarines, not that we want to use them at all,” the newspaper quoted Trump as telling Duterte, based on the transcript.

Don’t tell him anything, y’all.  Just don’t.


If You’re Surprised, Shame On Ya

May 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Washington Post in non-breaking news (because we expected it).


This makes me so mad that I could jump start my car without any cables.  The cuts go to Medicare, medicare research, the National Science Foundation, the social safety net, and anything that’s gonna cure anything.

The National Cancer Institute would be hit with a $1 billion cut compared to its 2017 budget. The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute would see a $575 million cut, and the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases would see a reduction of $838 million. The administration would cut the overall National Institutes of Health budget from $31.8 billion to $26 billion.

Oh damn, the Canadians are going to build a wall to keep us out.

Look, the rich already don’t pay their fair share of taxes because they hide their money in off-shore accounts.  They don’t need help.

“I’m not really concerned about how many billions billionaires have,” said Glenn Hubbard, former chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers under President George W. Bush.

Holy crap, y’all, when even Republicans are concerned, there’s a big problem.


Nyet, Trey Gowdy

May 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Former CIA Director John Brennan just testified before congress that Russia “brazenly interfered” with the 2016 election.

Trey Gowdy (who only vaguely appears to be human) was livid because Brennan would not reveal any evidence that Donald Trump hisownself colluded with Russia because that’s still being investigated.  Gowdy complained that there are far too many C Words being used — collude, cooperation, coordination — and all that was confusing.

Yeah, especially if you don’t understand synonyms, a thing that Donald Trump is using all his evil power to destroy bigly.

Let me give Trey another C word we use here in Texas — cahoot.  When you are cahooting, you are up to no good. Russia and the Trump campaign were in cahoots.

Here’s some some P words for Trey: patsy, puppet, pawn. There ya go.