You Wanna Know What They Are Really, Really Good At?

October 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I will tell you what they are good at.  They are good at victimizing people and then playing the victim themselves.

ted-cruz-really-24784_186x186Ted Cruz, who looked at people living paycheck to paycheck and decided to throw them out of work, casts himself as David vs. Goliath.  As a martyr.

Get outta here.  Here’s some privileged Canadian guy, with a blue ribbon $40,000 a year health care package from his wife’s job  who is trying to play Joan of Arc.  Or even

As an audience of 600 Republicans awaited the arrival of Sen. Ted Cruz Friday night at the Iowa Events Center, conservative Christian activist Steve Scheffler came to the podium to give thanks to God for the Tea Party savior — and plead for more principled conservative leaders like him willing to “be crucified for their belief system.”

Wait a minute.  Wait a minute.  Wait just a damn minute.  He’s Jesus?

Last week, Tom DeLay compared himself to Moses returning from the wilderness, and now Cruz is Jesus Christ.  I guess they want Boehner to be John the Baptist so Salome (who is obviously Sarah Palin) can get his head on a platter.

Republicans, who are more second rate snake oil salesmen than Biblical giants, need to stop with this stuff before we start asking for miracles.

The minute they start hurting people, they clutch their hands to their chest and go full martyr in 60 seconds or less.

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0 Comments to “You Wanna Know What They Are Really, Really Good At?”


  1. Uncle Dave says:

    How can one explain Cruz? He is not without intellect. But he campaigns solely to the the tea-party, far right wing of the Republican Party. That makes sense for a Louie Gohmert who must only win the primary in a gerrymandered congressional district, but Cruz apparently wants to be president. Then, why does he eschew moving closer to the middle? Either Cruz knows more about getting elected than most, including all of us who post here, and both moderate and liberal political pundits, or he sees himself as annointed. I am coming around to the latter view. It appears Cruz sees himself as destined to be something, president of the U.S or maybe ruler of the universe. We should all keep in mind the curse, “may you live in interesting times,” because it is likely that things shall remain interesting.

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  2. Marcia in CO says:

    Well, Uncle Dave, Cruz’s Poppa declared his boy a Saviour, a king of kings … so Teddy is embued with a full-blown sense of himself that no one else with any brain cells can see.

    What he is, is a full-blown charismatic idiot who probably kisses his own image in the mirror!

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  3. Perhaps, in the ultimate ego trip, he wants to create a nation that would be worthy of him as a leader. Hence his efforts to create such a nation to the exclusion of accepting anything less…..no compromise, cleave to a single “vision”….

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  4. Marge Wood says:

    All I could think of when I saw that smirk on his face was, imagine being his seventh grade teacher back when. I bet his teachers had a hard time not smacking his face. Can any of you track down his old school teachers?

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  5. Marcia, Cruz has a reflection in the mirror?

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  6. Seems to me Cruz is more of a Judas goat.

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  7. I thought Lindsey Graham was Salome. You mean Sarah took the part away from him! I think I’m having a case of the vapors.

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  8. Compare and contrast the fresh and open face of Dr. Raul Ruiz to that of Judas-Goat-Teddy (thanks Mick) Cruz.

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  9. Tom can be Moses, just make sure he wanders in the desert for 40 years first!
    As for Curz, well I always thought Italian boys were brought up as Italian princes, I guess his background gives him even more leverage.
    P.S my maiden name was DiGiuseppe.

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  10. Braxton Braggart says:

    The line about Boehner being John the Baptist to Sarah Palin’s Salome reminds me of another great line from Sunset Boulevard — also relevant to Sarah Palin:

    “There’s nothing wrong with being fifty — unless you’re acting twenty!”

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  11. Lorraine in Spring says:

    I understand his father believes Ted is the chosen one. According to him, Ted’s job is to get elected so he can transfer the entire wealth of the U.S.A. to his Dominionist religion which will become the new govt. Yep, a theocracy.

    My question is, do Dominionists consider other Christian religions, like Southern Baptists or Catholics, etc… worthy of their kult? If not, why do the Religious Right back him?

    I wonder what Sweet Jesus would say about all this?

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  12. Every time I listen to Cruz or DeLay, I think of a few lines from an old science fiction story:

    Hide! Hide! Witch!
    The good folk come to burn thee
    Their keen enjoyment hid beneath
    The gothic mask of duty

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  13. Marcia in CO says:

    @Maggie … uh, I’m only guessing at that reflection in the mirror thing! LOL

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  14. fierywoman says:

    So if Ted Cruz is Jesus, does that mean his wife is Mary Magdalene?

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  15. e platypus onion says:

    Snowdrift Snookums has a patent on victimhood. She appears to be dyslexic,as well. She and Cruz sniff around each other like weasels enamored with foolish passion.

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  16. DeLay as Moses.
    Cruz as Jesus.
    This has the makings of an excellent board game. Can Delay land on the right spaces to collect all 10 Commandments? Will Jesus Cruz make it through all the stations of the cross? Only the dice (and divine providence) can determine who wins!

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  17. e platypus onion says:

    Marge Wood @ 4-Stalin made them all disappear. 🙂

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  18. Marge Wood says:

    I’ve been reading up on Dominionists again. Apparently there are soft core ones and hard core ones. The soft core ones just believe everyone will be wealthy and happy if they are True Believers. The hard core ones are the ones you gotta worry about. And, they think THEIR version of the Bible is the only true one. No Baptists, Lutherans or Catholics, etc. Google around on various combinations of dominionism and theodicy or theocracy or Rushdoony or Cruz or Christian exceptionalism.

    Blech. They’re not all bad individually but I don’t want them writing our legislation and electing our legislators.

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  19. Cruz is destined to become Grand Poobah of the KKK. A hood over that smirking face would be an improvement.

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  20. I kinda thought that Fidel was using Ted to get even with JFK!

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  21. I just think of grandpa Munster when I see the Cruz face.

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  22. Well moses was a failure at leading his group.
    Took 40yrs to walk out of a desert that Alexander crossed in 40days.
    And Cruz is a failure at being human.
    Ya I can see the resemblance.

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  23. VeeGee in VT says:

    @ Joan. Let’s not impugn the the real Grandpa Munster, Al Lewis who ran as the Green Party candidate for Governor of New York in 1998. Cruz should look so good!

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  24. Mary Beth says:

    My server pooped out last night, so I was re-reading “Molly Ivins Can’t Say That”.

    What would she say about Ted Cruz? If anyone reaches her in a seance or medium, tell her we’re waiting on her words. Holy moley, I miss her.

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  25. Marge Wood says:

    Hey, don’t blame Moses. Alexander didn’t have to drag along all the wives and children with the soldiers. Did he? No, I am not researching that tonight.

    And I’m reading a new John Grisham novel for kids titled THEODORE BOONE, ACTIVIST. Theodore plans to be a lawyer/judge. He and his friends take on the school board when the music program gets cut from the school, along with some staff and other faculty. Sound familiar?

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  26. Mary Beth, we all miss the wonderful Molly Ivins. And that’s why we love Juanita Jean who channels her so well!
    And what’s in the water in Texas that gives us so many wildly crazy men, and so many brilliant women?

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  27. Karen Spalding says:

    I talked to dear Molly. She said, “Cruz makes love with his socks on.” Enough said.

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  28. leeper fred says:

    ted is the terrorist anchor baby grown up and infiltrated into the senate. the shut down was payback for the bay of pigs.

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  29. I think we should take Cruz up on his offer.

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