You People Need To Quit Having Sex. It’s Making Stuart Crazy.

April 01, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It just passed.

Texas has the third highest rate of HIV infections in the country, but that didn’t stop lawmakers from passing an amendment that defunds HIV/STD prevention programs Tuesday. The amendment to the House budget proposal—offered by Rep. Stuart Spitzer (R-Kaufman)—diverts $3 million over the next biennium to abstinence-only sexual education programs.

Texas receives more federal funds for abstinence-only education than any other state so a Democrat asked bygawd how much money do you need for abstinence-only education.  We’re already #1.

2885The bill’s sponsor, Republican Stuart Spitzer responded —

Spitzer responded that additional funds are needed as long as people are still having sex before marriage.

Well hell, let’s just give them all Start’s money.  No, seriously. He said that.

So what we need to do is to scare more people about sex so they will grow into happy, empathetic adults like Ole Stuart.  Stuart says that he was a virgin until he married his wife at age 29.  I’m gonna guess that wasn’t because of lack of trying.

And since gay people cannot marry in Texas, maybe they should go find out if Stuart’s wife has sex after marriage.

By the way, Texas has the highest teen pregnancy in the whole damn nation.

 Thanks to Karl for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “You People Need To Quit Having Sex. It’s Making Stuart Crazy.”


  1. But MissJJ, abstinence only works so well! Texas teen pregnancy rates are almost double that of the US overall with the majority being Hispanic closely followed by Black. Just think about all those future minority voters.

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  2. Corinne Sabo says:

    Abstinence only didn’t work when I was a teen and doesn’t work now. With HIV uncurable, it is a death sentence.

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  3. Marcia in CO says:

    HIV may not be curable but it is controllable with meds …

    These Repuke’s Moms should have practiced abstinence a long time ago!!

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  4. Marge Wood says:

    These folks could expand their influence a lot more by making the sale of birth control illegal too. Oh wait. I looked up “is it illegal to sell birth control in any states?” Feel free to poke around there.

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  5. The past year has emphasized that for Republicans public health is only another political weapon and has no more innate validity than education, religion, science etc have for them.

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  6. Human beings are ubiquitous on this planet precisely because abstinence doesn’t work.

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  7. I consider this stupidity to simply be a dress rehearsal for when they defund vaccine programs for measles et al. And I am not kidding!

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  8. Sandino says:

    After looking at Spitzer’s photo, I would be surprised if his wife wanted sex after marriage!

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  9. Marge Wood says:

    Oh honey. Spitzer can’t help the way he looks. What he is doing is trolling for votes. You want to go knock on doors in his district, wherever that is?

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  10. shortpeople says:

    Just say no works so well. At least until drunk Uncle Leo (or Aunt Fern) lets on that the best man a the kids’ parents’ wedding was a double barrel and/or the reception was on the lawn of the rehab facility. Either that or someone shows pictures of #1 kid riding to the wedding on a tricycle and the bridal dance involves a splif instead of a shot.

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  11. One need look no farther than the Cuban Embargo to see how important it is to stick with something, even if it looks like it’s not working. The embargo only took 55 years to “work” but abstinence-only can as well, if we just give it enough time.

    In the meantime I’s like to give a shout out to those dedicated parents and legislators who try to implement abstinence-only programs for their high school aged children.

    Good job Grandpa!
    You too Grandma!

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Living in a remote area, I remember the abstinence only days. Those were the days you abstained from visiting the girl whose Daddy kept a 12 gauge loaded with rock salt. Fast moving Mama’s wielding rolling pins like Olympians in a hammer toss were to be avoided, too. Made a boy anxious to go to school, where life was safer under the bleachers.

    Now “abstinence only” sex education doesn’t exactly roll right off the tongue. Civics class taught us “abstain” was a vote of sorts. Don’t recall anyone saying anything about sex being a voting matter.

    Not sure what Mr. Spitzer is aiming at, since he was born in those happy old days after the pill and before AIDS. Guess he must have contracted himself a bit of that penicillin resistant strain that goes straight to the brain.

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  13. If he didn’t have sex until he married at 29, then you know that was not because he wasn’t trying. Probably all the females could run faster.

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  14. HIV is frequently contracted through the sharing of needles.

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  15. Old Mayfly says:

    Abstinence-only sex ed–same thing as raising your kids on a houseboat and forbidding them to learn how to swim.

    That way, they will never drown.

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  16. e platypus onion says:

    For us secondary virgins,what does sex look like? Sounds evil according to wingnuts.

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  17. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    e platypus onion, “secondary virgins?” Is that like the bench warmer group of cheerleaders? All the cheerleaders I knew …. never mind … too early in the day to outrun Mama and her bar of soap.

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  18. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    june, Spitzer is saying that his sister was both ugly and able to outrun him.

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  19. maryelle says:

    There have been, and will continue to be, lives lost because of rwnj stupidity. They are turning our country into a backward third-world nation, incapable of making forward progress in the
    twenty-first century. Be afraid, be very afraid. They are the true terrorists.

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  20. As I grow older and older
    And totter towards the tomb
    I find that I care less and less
    Who goes to bed with whom. — Dorothy L. Sayers

    But some GOPs just can’t get their minds out of everyone else’s underpants and their heads out of their own.

    Could someone try to explain to this yahoo that states and countries where sex ed and birth control are taught in school have much lower rates of teen pregnancy and resulting poverty? But oh heavens, they might SIN! Well, big whoop. There are plenty worse things, such as dying of AIDS, you sanctimonious moron.

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  21. Angelo Frank says:

    Next on the Texas State Legislature agenda, mandatory chastity belts for young single women.

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  22. And at last report Texas was the number 1 source of porn starlets so I guess there is a lot of “home schooling” going on.

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  23. I’m betting Texas will not only have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy, but also one of the highest rates of abortions, legal or otherwise. Guess they never really cared about those fetuses after all.

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  24. AKLynne says:

    Wonder where I can invest in some RU-487 stock.

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  25. e platypus onion says:

    Sex education is science and therefore,to the wingnut mind,heresy.

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  26. Marge Wood says:

    Sigh.

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  27. If everyone got married as teenage virgins, that would solve all the problems ever!

    Duh.

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  28. Angelo Frank, they’ll want heavy duty chastity belts for married women too. Dear hubby will have the only key.

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  29. @Debbo
    @Angelo Frank
    Chastity belts are gonna inconvenience some in the Texas and US legislatures. Next thing you know the NSA will be forcing chastity belt makers to include a backdoor (so to speak) in their locking mechanism.

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  30. Those who can, do.

    Those who can’t obsess over those who do and try to punish them.

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  31. Old Mayfly says:

    Rhea—Dorothy Parker?

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  32. My standard answer:

    Abstinence only…..brings babies.

    End of story.

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  33. Oy, who says that only the women should be wearing the chastity belts? It takes two.

    Old mayfly, I know it sounds like Dorothy Parker, but it really was Dorothy L. Sayers. Parker wrote other gems, such as:

    Life is a glorious cycle of song,
    A medley of extemporanea,
    Love is a thing that can never go wrong,
    And I am Marie of Romania.

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  34. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Abstinence Only Education goes back as far as The Ten Commandments. That’s important because it gives us a time frame to comprehend the vast failure. But it also shows that it won’t work even when it is a commandment from God. How do you think people will take it when it is a commandment from Greg Abbott?

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  35. Dorothy Sayers, in addition to writing the excellent Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries, was a scholar and a Christian humanist. We could use more Christian humanists. Wouldn’t hurt if they were also scholars.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_L._Sayers

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  36. Fred Farklestone says:

    “Stuart says that he was a virgin until he married his wife at age 29.”

    Why would anyone advertise something like that?

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  37. linda phipps says:

    Teens are going to find a way to circumvent the no sex thing by having more oral sex, and I read that many girls will keep themselves intact by allowing anal penetration. Interesting news for the homophobes dontcha think.

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  38. Wow! Crazy things just keep happening here in Texas. What the hell, Spitzer? You’re a complete idiot and an embarrassment to Texas!
    I’m wondering who will benefit from this, there has to be more to this.

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  39. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    linda phipps, nothing says Xtian like encouraging their daughters to be proxies for their sheep. May this phenomena be known as the “Virgin Beast Monologues.”

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