Yeah, But I Think She Would

March 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, I will admit that I’m a moderate fan of Yoga.  It’s not something I do everyday, but it’s something I do.

It has not led me to the devil.  As of yet.

Suzanne Duarte was not so lucky.

Screen Shot 2015-03-26 at 11.09.29 AMShe took it upon herself to burn down the American Power Yoga Studio in Dallas.  She used a baseball bat and a can of gasoline.  Yeah, I don’t get the baseball bat either.  Maybe she was going to use it as a torch.  I dunno.

Suzanne (who also goes by Nancy) says she is smiling in her mug shot because she was happy to get even.  She did not like one of the men who owns the studio.

“He kept hitting on me and kept trying to make me the girlfriend on the side,” Duarte claimed about one of the men.

On Saturday, Duarte says she waited until it was late so no one would be at the studio.
“Just to set it on fire, just destroy it, get rid of the devil’s temple,” Duarte said.

She was unsuccessful and none of the other businesses in the strip shopping center were damaged.  Thank God.  Or the Devil.  Seriously, I have no idea who to thank.

Here’s the fun part.  The Yoga studio has been under new management since November and they had no idea about the dispute between Duarte and the previous owner.

Nonetheless, Duarte says the only regret she has is that the studio didn’t burn.

Anyway, she’s in jail.  Smiling.  And hoping.

Duarte is being held on a $16,000 bond. She says if she gets out, she will not try to burn down the studio again.

I don’t believe her.

Namaste, y’all.

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0 Comments to “Yeah, But I Think She Would”


  1. Marge Wood says:

    Good grief.

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  2. My guess is she was really mad because he WASN”T hitting on her. Fury of a Scorned Woman, ya’ll.

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  3. UmptyDump says:

    Kick that bail up by a factor of 10. Anybody who smiles like that for her mug shot will be a menace back on the street. Even so, no getting out without home confinement and an ankle bracelet.

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  4. Of course she’s smiling. All is now well in her little world where she may play uninterrupted with the toys in her head.

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  5. e platypus onion says:

    This witch needs to be burnt at the stake for making men lust after her. Her drop dead gorgeous looks and engaging smile are the work of the devil.

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  6. Annabelle Lee says:

    Yoga can’t fix crazy.

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  7. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    She looks nice … in a “Fatal Attraction” sort of way.

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  8. Hopefully it will take more than her promise not to burn anything down again to qualify her for release. The guy who owns the yoga studio may want to relocate.

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  9. I was just sick about this. My wife bought tickets to a Pocket Sandwich Theater show in early April.

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  10. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    With all this talk about Devil/Satan, I’m going along with Tom Waits “There ain’t no devil that;s just God when He’s drunk”

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  11. Annabelle Lee says:

    @Don A, great song. Now I have to listen to it again!

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  12. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    LOL @epo

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  13. Was it a “Hot Yoga” place with Bikram Choudhury as the owner?
    He’s a Rapist!

    Sarah Palin likes him for obvious reasons…
    Todd & Sarah went for her birthday….

    http://entertainthis.usatoday.com/2014/09/17/sarah-palin-looks-much-like-a-sheepdog-after-hot-yoga-session/

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  14. Linda Phipps says:

    You only see a beatific smile on the faces of morons and lunatics. i think she was written by Shirley Jackson.

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  15. Well, some men, when a man hits on them, kill the guy, so I guess it’s not completely out of line for a woman who’s been hit on to try to burn down the guy’s place of business… though it would be nice if she’d keep track of whether he still owns it.

    Little Miss Sunshine is creepy as &%$#.

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  16. Corinne Sabo says:

    Duarte sounds deranged.

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  17. e platypus onion says:

    Yoga makes one sweat? Sorry Redwood,I forgot your article was about Snowgrift Snoozie. She got forcibly ejected from a convenience store for staring at the orange juice machine. ( Her defense was it said concentrate).

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  18. charles phillips says:

    I’d like to think she’s just looking out for herself, and the bat was to either 1.) do some damage inside or 2.) defend herself. If she’d been a gun owner, she’d have taken her Glock with her.

    Of course, there’s always the prospect she’s been unhinged by the radical right and thinks she should be allowed a little ball peen justice.

    It’s a close run thing, is what it is.

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  19. Sam in San Antonio says:

    Wednesday Adams had a less sinister smile.

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  20. It’s nice to know that xtians don’t do terrorist acts.
    Or may be they should as an isLame would have succeeded.

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  21. Here’s the punishment – make her spend time with this guy:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/sullivan40/267482210/

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  22. AliceBeth says:

    Mark, there should be a warning before clicking on that link. It could do harm.

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