Y’all, It’s Officially a Thing

April 30, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, this thing that the military calls “training exercises” named Jade Helm and has turned out to be a thinly veiled attempt by Barack Obama to gather intelligence on US citizens and haul us all away for indoctrination at abandoned WalMarts with tunnels underground going from one to another and they will then take away our guns and probably make us all black, gay, and Muslim is a real thing in Texas.

First we have the Governor having the Texas Guard oversee all this because the Governor says respects the military, and, yeah, it shows.

It’s even on the front page above the fold of the Houston Chronicle.

 

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And now – ta da!- it’s a real thing.

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) said in a recent interview that he’d “look at” a planned U.S. military training exercise that conspiracy theorists believe may be a cover for the implementation of martial law.

Oh well, if we have Greg Abbott and Rand Paul looking into this, it’s a damn thing.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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35 Comments to “Y’all, It’s Officially a Thing”


  1. If martial law were to be declared in this country, I’d bet my bottom dollar it would be declared by the right wing(ers).

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  2. We are all going to have forced abortions, too – even the men.

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  3. If they hurray down to Austin can the military bag the whole dang Texas gubmint?

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  4. To alleviate their concerns that the armed forces of the United States may actually act against their own citizens, maybe the military should pull the exercises from Texas. Also all of the US Armed Forces bases, equipment, personnel, and revenues. And anything else owned by the federal government.

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  5. Aggieland Liz says:

    It’s a damned thing all right. What a ship of fools!

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  6. Nefer, you are devious. I like that!

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  7. RepubAnon says:

    I heard the real threat from Jade Helm is that they’re planning on releasing hundreds of hungry squirrels – which poses an existential threat to these nuts.

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  8. Fred Farklestone says:

    ” They are not a part of the United States Armed Forces.”
    Read on!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Guard
    It’s just a bunch of kooks playing soldier hoping nothing happens!

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  9. I slept last night. Is that when Kentucky became part of “The Southwest”….. which would make these maneuvers Rand Paul’s business????

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  10. You’ll pardon me, I hope, for pointing out that perhaps Texas SHOULD be militarily occupied … and subjected to 50 years of vigorous de-Confederacy-ization, a la the de-Nazification of Germany after WWII. You’ve got to admit it would solve some problems.

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  11. Imbeciles all.

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    In my younger puppy days, participated in a number of military exercises with NATO in Germany, SEATO in S. Korea (yes that one $carah) and the South China Sea, landing in the Philippines. The locals treated us great!

    But here in the dog forsaken colonies, we were attacked via phone by crazy old folks in AZ who objected to our night flying. War be damned, they needed their sleep. Was that you, Senator McCain?

    Then there were the places we did our winter, desert and jungle survival training. Wish to dog we had been thrown out of those places. Won’t name them all, but Alabama, I reserve a special curse for you.

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  13. Old Fart says:

    Um, if this doesn’t go through, just think how much more we’re going to hear from these fools. Besides, if this isn’t on TX public land, but rather on private, isn’t Abbot trying to interfer with the legitimate purpose of the second amendment? (Oh holiest of holies!)

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  14. Corinne Sabo says:

    This Air Force brat thinks it is something that happens all the time, no big deal.

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  15. maryelle says:

    The timing couldn’t be better, there’ll be a full moon at which the Jade Helm loonies can howl while they lock and load, and talk in code, on their walkie talkies. I have a bad feeling about this “exercise” and will pray for the US military, in outright danger in their own country. Only in the Southwest!

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  16. Have they noticed that this exercise is Jade Helm 15? In other words, there have been 14 previous such exercises. I think we would have noticed if martial law had been instituted 14 times in the past.

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  17. Craig Waters says:

    Dear Miss Juanita,

    This is all happening because Obama wants to take all of the white women. Lock the doors of the Beauty Salon and tell Primo to load his gun!

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  18. UmptyDump says:

    If Rick Perry had been the one spouting off about this, no one would think twice about him. Remember Perry? The dolt who played soldier by being photographed in a boat on the Rio Grande, togged out in a baseball cap, body armor and sunglasses and holding on to an automatic weapon? Perry’s relatively harmless compared to Abbott.

    Perry played the patriotism game while Abbott is paying the opposite. What must we think about a cynical demagogue who is willing to weaken our national security by getting in the way of military training exercises?

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  19. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    UmptyDump, last time a lady US Attorney General visited Texas, it didn’t turn out too good for the wing nuts. If we’re lucky our new US AG, Ms. Lynch will consider rolling down the streets of Austin in a tank. Or, they could simply invite Abbott to the White House and assign a Secret Service detail to assist he and his wheelchair down the steps.

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  20. virginiamary says:

    First off, these training exercises have been held here for many years and most of the participating Army dudes are stationed year-round in San Antonio. So it’s not like they sneaked in from foreign parts, like Blue State ninjas in the dark of night.

    Secondly, if there is serious concern regarding this so-called Army invasion, why call in the Texas State Guard, which is an all-volunteer group with no guns, no professional training, and no standing or power to “supervise” legitimately ranked officers in the Army? Seriously, the Texas State Guard is like a Boy Scout paintball troop for grownups with an officious sounding name. Their real function is to volunteer during a crisis or natural disaster, which this is not. Just so you know.

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  21. Teh Gerg says:

    Stoopid is the gift that just keeps on giving . . .

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  22. legion357 says:

    Geez, most of the people commenting about this in my part of Texas are showing all there colors. Every conspiracy theory has been mentioned, well except for the contrails and fluoride, how did they miss them?

    A race thing was even thrown in for good measure.

    I just… I don’t know what to say.

    http://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2015/apr/29/realistic-military-training-canceled-in-the-crossr/#comments

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  23. linda phipps says:

    This really does make me sick, it’s hard to make fun of any of this. However an old Kingston Trio song comes to mind, with alterations:

    There’s rioting in Baltimore
    And poor folks in pain
    There’s bigotry surrounding us
    California needs rain…

    Preachers preach hellfire
    on innocent folk
    who cares who bakes your cake
    your church is a joke

    The country is suffering
    from unrestrained greed
    and only a few of us
    know what we need!

    Help me out here Chipster,PKM.

    Truly, the EPA needs to check the water supply around there. It has to be poisoned.

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  24. Wa Skeptic says:

    So what happened to all that b.s. “patriotism”, i.e., “Support Our Troops”????

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  25. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    linda phipps, spot on and you certainly don’t need my help!

    The help we need is on its way: Senator Sanders. He “gets it” and means to do what he can.

    If anyone needs to be shot, it’s Charles & David Koch, Shelly Adelson and all those freaks subverting our democracy and fomenting, or should that be Santorumizing, the Tea Baggers.

    So ok a little hyperbole. Let’s afford them Due Process, the same rights they would deny many citizens. Also afford Rupert Murdoch his Due Process; then revoke his phony citizenship papers.

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  26. linda phipps says:

    Not hyperbole at all, and the hell with due process for these folk, they don’t understand the constitution at all and they have offered nothing to those they oppose. I would love to hear Obama, who has little to lose now, and can afford to let loose, that he is “thinking about pulling out some of the troops quartered in Texas and placing them somewhere else”… The walking hemorrhoids of the Texas State House would be chewing on the carpet.

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  27. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    linda phipps, you’re cracking me up. Just when I thought all the pro-life vaginal probes in state legislatures were either perverts or closeted gay men, you’ve revealed a new group.

    Who knew? Greg Abbott and Rand Paul are carpet munching lesbians. That explains Randy’s hair, but I’m still confused by the old white dude sitting on Greg’s lap.

    aaaaaahh … I see, after my wife explained it to me. The old dude is Ted Nugent. Got it, I think. Ted’s transgender.

    Nah. I don’t see. I get “self-loathing” as an explanation of sorts. But these mean people bear no resemblance to anyone I’ve met from the LGBT community. Hell they bear no resemblance to any human and seem more than a few genetic markers shy of the baboons from which we descended.

    Are all Republicans the love children of Leona Helmsley and Idi Amin? Ain’t no petri dish known to science to explain a Republican.

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  28. I have to ask – where in the world did the people of Texas
    find Greg Abbott? Do you have to be crazy to be gov of Texas?
    Look out, because they will be electing Ted Cruz next and then
    the state will implode!

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  29. maggie says:

    If you step back half a foot you can see that this is the makings of a made for tv movie wherein all the folks involved (using real time clips) come off looking like they have been chewing peyote buds and have turned into some sort of blithering zombies. Very good for a laugh in many other parts of the U.S. of A. Also the motivation to keep other folks from bringing themselves and their wallets to TX for a visit.

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  30. shortpeople says:

    Are any of these patriots planning a trip to the Olympic Peninsula to protest naval exercises over the national forest there?

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  31. linda phipps says:

    Polite Kool Marxist, the “chewing the carpet” reference is for Hitler who “chewed the carpet” in fury. Actually that is an old German expression meaning to be on tenterhooks. I like to have these numbskulls on tenterhooks, or any other kind of hook.

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  32. Terry Smith says:

    The beauty of it is that after it’s over Abbot will take credit for thwarting Obama’s evil plan.

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  33. Marge Wood says:

    Sigh. Do we have to hang around for the ending?

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  34. And we thought Rick Perry was a clown! I didn’t think we could do worse, but we have done worse. Our Governor is on LSD! lol

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  35. It would be easy to scare the hell out of the crazies in Bastrop. Just tell them the CG spotted a Russian Sub in the Gulf (they did), and that one day we might take some incoming fire so we must be prepared and troops trained.

    How hard could it be for Gov.Abbut to tell the truth about training exercises?

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