Writhing Wretched Hordes of One

June 09, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum is on the campaign trail, firing up the base

Just one Iowan showed up at 2 p.m. campaign stop Monday at a restaurant in the unincorporated community of Hamlin.

But is Rick gonna let this get him down?  No, sireee.  Not Rick.

Santorum told the Register that the low turnout was not surprising, but that it is all a part of the plan.

So Rick’s plan is to underwhelm voters and keep interest as low as possible – just slightly above the   Who Gives A Crap line.  I know that sounds like a new original idea but Michele Bachmann has already tried it.  Didn’t work.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Writhing Wretched Hordes of One”


  1. There are times when I actually feel sorry for stets like Iowa due to the caucuses they are so famous for holding. They really don’t ever get an actual break from all the fuss and furor. I can understand when they exhibit signs of suffering from GOP candidate overload and for the most part just lock the door and work on controlling the shakes engendered by all that not very adroit at all politicking heaped upon them. One for Santorum sounds like a damn good majority. And I bet that “one” drew the short straw and his family was being held hostage.

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Psssst … Ricky, that’s called REJECTION, man. Iowa, womb to Michele Bachmann crazy and other such anointed candidates is saying: “go home, Rick.”

    The rest of us are saying: “get a job, Rick.” Your run of grifting off Opus Dopey is over.

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  3. maryelle says:

    Wake up and smell the crickets, Rick, not a chance in he**.

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  4. daChipster says:

    Rick Santorum has a serious problem of self-perception.

    The State of Pennsylvania made the mistake of electing him in the first place. Once they really got to know him, however, they eventually rectified their error. Running for re-election as a sitting US Republican Senator, he suffered the worst beat-down in the entire HISTORY of sitting US Republican Senators.

    A seat he had won by six points in 2000, he lost by 17 points in 2006.

    Did he take that loss to heart? Did he sit quietly in the corner and rethink his life? Did he come to realize he was out of step, not only with the American electorate, but also with his own Catholic faith?

    He did not. He doubled down on the stupid, became the champion of stupid in the 2012 primaries, and swept the stupid vote when other candidates of stupid said even stupider things.

    So the rich, less stupid members of the party swept Mitt into the driver’s seat in a desperate attempt to look not desperate. As the least non-viable candidate of stupid, Santorum finished second to an effete, out-of-touch millionaire in mom jeans.

    Did he take that loss to heart? Did he sit quietly in the corner and rethink his life? Did he come to realize he was out of step, not only with the American electorate, but also with his own Catholic faith?

    You know he did not, Instead, he tripled down on the stupid, called out the Pope, and hopped back into the clown car for another ride.

    Rick, is it really worth all this humiliation? Couldn’t you just lobby quietly for the energy industry, collect your paycheck and shut the hell up?

    Nope. Grifters gotta grift!

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  5. The best response to anything that Rick Santorum says or does is raucous laughter.

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  6. Annabelle Lee says:

    Did he go ahead and bloviate to the one attendee? Did he at least buy the guy a cup of coffee?

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  7. Marge Wood says:

    bless his heart.

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  8. I’m sure Santorum thinks it’s all part of God’s plan.

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  9. Cheryl Ann says:

    You didn’t quote the best line of the article, “he did better at the second stop drawing 10 voters”!! How much is he spending on this trip to talk to 11 people?

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  10. Is there an Improv comedy club in Iowa?

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  11. I don’t think that one Iowan meets the standard of slightly above the ‘Who Gives A Crap line.” Surely that would take at least 3 Iowans–maybe 4 if they’re small.

    At this point Santorum has only met the standard of ‘What is Santorum?’ Google will provide the answer.

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  12. Fred Farklestone says:

    “It’s not glamorous, and you’re not out there raising money, but you’re doing what the money is ultimately supposed to do — getting votes,”

    At least he told the truth about money and politic’s!

    Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2015/06/rick-santorum-iowa-event-one-voter-turnout-118774.html#ixzz3ca3oiSpa

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  13. e platypus onion says:

    Anything Improv
    http://www.anythingimprov.com
    1 Google review
    · Google+ page
    west
    1701 25th St, West Des Moines, IA
    (515) 943-9343
    Last Laugh Comedy Club
    lastlaughdsm.com
    Google+ page
    1701 25th St
    West Des Moines, IA
    (515) 943-9343

    Here you go,Micr. These two are quite aways east of Hamlin
    and I doubt there is a pied piper to lead them there. Fortunately,I am way North and West of there in Obrien Co.

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  14. Corinne Sabo says:

    Typical campaign strategy: Talk to no voters.

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  15. Iowans must be getting blasé when they can’t walk from the parking lot into the diner without tripping over five or six GOP presidential wannabe’s. PLEASE give it a rest, folks. The Washington Post often has five or six pages about the campaign, and the bloody election isn’t even for almost another year and a half. Give it a rest, because we’re already sick of all of you! Except Bernie.

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  16. Hollyanna says:

    And yet this clown still gets more coverage from the mainstream media than Bernie Sanders…

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  17. I’m not Catholic so please excuse my ignorance. How can one be a “devout Catholic” and disagree with the Pope? In public! Was there not a time when this conduct could get you excommunicated? Or burned at the stake? It is people like Santorum, with their shifting moral standards and their cafeteria approach to Christianity who are destroying the moral fiber of this nation. Or is that everybody who’s not this yahoo? I get confused.

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  18. Mister Lee says:

    Rick Santorum, playing Pied Piper of Hamlin (Iowa), attracts only one voter to his rally.

    This is hilarious.

    I am hoping that the aftermath of the 2016 elections will allow progressives and other Democrats to indulge in even bigger grounds for schadenfreud.

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  19. The road to Hell is paved with Santorum.

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  20. Henry, Santorum is a “devout Catholic” in the same way that so many right-wingers are “devout Christians.” They make it up as they go along.

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  21. daChipster says:

    Monty: more slathered, really, than paved.

    Henry: the crux of Catholic faith is striving for a clear conscience, acting on a certain conscience, and forming a correct conscience. In this last, Catholics must adhere to dogma as defined by Church Councils (like Vatican II) or by the Pope speaking ex cathedra (from the chair) infallibly. The only time a Papal pronouncement is infallible dogma is when he speaks ex cathedra. It has only happened three times.

    All the rest of the times, in things like encyclicals, Papal pronouncements are said to settle theogical questions of doctrine, based on his authority as Peter’s successor as Bishop of Rome. They also are important teachings airing in the formation of a correct conscience. But, if you cannot in good conscience reconcile yourself to those teaching, your personal Catholicism remains unabated, so long as you still accept basic dogma (e.g. Conceived by the holy spirit, born of a virgin, yadda yadda yadda) At some point, if you diverge far enough in doctrinal error, the Church may recognize you as no longer actually Catholic, and you’d be excommunicated. But that is such a loooong step, and you’re given so many chances to rethink the whole thing, and you’d really have to have been LOUD about it, that it rarely happens.

    In Rick’s case, he’s really walked a thin line between Catholic and not-so-much, but for the most part – for example, concerning Life – he’s been in lockstep.

    Not on this issue, however, and pretty much for the reasons you’d think. The Pope is not going to frame the science, he’s going to frame the social justice impacts of global warming. Whenever the Church starts talking about poverty and social justice, conservative American Catholic politicians suddenly have urgent appointments elsewhere.

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  22. Linda Phipps says:

    I am not Catholic, but I tend to agree with the Pope on much of what he says … as to the environment, it astonishes me that so called “catholics” including the head of the Catholic League don’t agree when it says right there in the Bible that man is to “husband” the earth and animals. Don’t they know what that means? Or is that just some kinky extension of gay marriage? I don’t have any comment, by the way, of the Pope’s position on gay marriage or abortion, he IS Catholic after all.

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  23. there’s only a couple of politicians that I’d take annual leave to see, none of them are named santorum. frankly, he doesn’t even have the amusing factor going for him, he’s just an ignorant dick.

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  24. Yanno, my cats do this thing where they flip themselves off of the sofa by bathing too vigorously, and then stand back up and do a little “Yeah, I meant to do that” routine. We hassle them about it, because in a critter with a brain the size of a walnut, it’s cute.

    Not so cute when performed by a critter the size of Santorum.

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