With Friends Like Newt

September 29, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Newt, y’all.

Newt Gingrich stepped up to defend Donald Trump, mainly because if Trump isn’t elected, Newt still won’t have a job.

170px-gingrich_at_iowa_fairFormer Speaker Newt Gingrich on Wednesday defended Donald Trump’s remarks about a former Miss Universe’s weight gain, blaming the woman for gaining the weight.

“You’re not supposed to gain 60 pounds during the year that you’re Miss Universe,” Gingrich told a Log Cabin Republicans event in Washington, according to the Daily Mail.

I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s not her fault that Donald Trump behaved like a jerk and called her names.  That’s on him, Newt.

And then to offer proof that irrational paranoia is contagious, Newt continued …

Gingrich also said Hillary Clinton’s campaign and the media were working together to lay “the Machado trap,” which he said was “a trap that was set up for three or four months.”

“News media were lined up to run articles the second Hillary said something,” he said, according to the Daily Mail.

“The media” is not one big giant breathing organism who all play well together and never, ever leak information.  I mean, in the real world, not just Newt’s head.

I’m no highly paid political professional like Kellyanne Conway, but I kinda think that the chubby guys need to shut the hell up about this.

 

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0 Comments to “With Friends Like Newt”


  1. Mr. Svelte says wut?

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    No Newt. Donnie was doing more of his Hispanic outreach, speaking his deplorable macaca as is his practice.

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  3. Like most of us, Newtster could use adding an ab crunch or 50 to his daily grind hisownself.

    And Newt we really would like to see less of you. Appearance-wise as well as weight-wise.

    Put that carton of Blue Bell down and step away from the freezer.

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  4. Hay,– Gingrich why was it you left the House again? Have trouble with the truth do we?? So the Cry Baby fell into the trap he set himself. Cry me a river. Boo Hoo,Boo Hoo.
    Looks like Piggy Drumpf has put on a lot of weight. Maybe he should work out. You think?

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  5. Aannnnd once again repugnantcans project their despicable tendencies on the rest of us. Naomi Klein and George Lakoff both pointed out how conservatives for years have had opposition projects just waiting for the right time.

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  6. Well, gasp! I’ve seen pix of this woman and where the alleged 60 pounds are, somebody better send me a map! What the bleep is the matter with these so-called men!

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  7. when is this meat head gonna grow some compunction?

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  8. chester miller says:

    It is increasingly apparent that we of the left are misunderstanding the proper role of a woman in this world.
    My thanks to Newt and Hair Trump for clarifying that role.
    Old Boy rolls are cool, but not appreciated for their eye candy?

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  9. I just love how all these overweight dudes feel they have to mansplain beauty to us women.

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  10. That Other Jean says:

    What Trailer Park said. Also–Dudes, practice what you preach.

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  11. Newt The Pewt has gotten the Bewt before. He needs it again.

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  12. Gingrich is the perfect example of how a highly intellegent, academically oriented person can still be a twisted, nasty, unrealistic, asinine, venal sack of donkey doo.

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  13. I know this is off the subject of weight but dear Helen and Margaret made a wonderful suggestion re Trump.
    It was ‘Hillary should call a summit with the three Mrs Trumps and the three Mrs Guillianis on how to deal with philandering husbands, now that is something I would like to see.

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  14. Tell us more Newt. About how a person’s weight should disqualify them from holding a job when someone thinner is available for the same position.

    And your your age Newt, tell us what you think if someone younger is available for that job too?

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  15. Joan, it is only sorta off the subject. Why is it all these men are so ready to bash one woman on her weight, when they themselves are overweight, and bash another woman her HUSBAND’S affairs when they themselves have indulged in same, multiple times. I’m surprised Newt hasn’t joined in on that, considering his past. I hate these guys. I really do.

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  16. Reminds me of a cartoon in which several women at the beach are deploring a guy who looks like a walrus in a Speedo, until one woman rebukes them and says that he’s probably a very nice guy and they shouldn’t say such things. Cut to the guy, who’s thinking, “The blonde wouldn’t be bad if she lost some weight.”

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  17. So… Newt, Trump, and Giuliani have nine marriages among the three of them, and they’re going to lumber on out there and bitch that Hillary wasn’t all warm and friendly to Bill’s mistresses. What could go wrong?

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  18. So a larda$$ and a tub of goo think they can call other people fat. Members of the Glass House Gang?

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  19. Shouldn’t Newt be worried about how he’s going to get the other $12,500 he needs to pay for the Kim Davis stunt he pulled and tried to bill as a political event?

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  20. l'angelomisterioso says:

    @Fred Farklestone #20- If he looked in the mirror more often he really wouldn’t see the “trap” set for him for several months. In the Newt’s mind, as in all conservatives thought, all media( possibly excluding Fuchs Noise) are “liberal” and therefore against them.You’ve got to ask yourself what sort of person does not see a “trap” set for 3 or 4 months?

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  21. OK, gang. Fat shaming is not okay, but I did indulge in a little in ’12. Enjoy!

    There was a large pig, name of Newt
    As moral as J. van der Sloot
    He looked such a glutton
    ‘Cause he couldn’t button
    the bellyward part of his suit.

    Callista, his helmet-haired wife
    with smile as soft as a knife
    while shopping at Tiffany
    had an epiphany
    This is the GingRich-y life.

    The campaign of which they’re a part
    Lacks empathy, feeling, and heart
    though it never lacks
    for scorn and attacks,
    Thus tearing our country apart.

    The frothy mix known as Santorum
    Will take any audience and bore ’em
    So hung up on gay
    He should come out and play
    Like Senators fallen before ‘im.

    Oh-Bee-Gee-Wy-En Doctor Paul
    The most libertarian of all
    Is he a polemicist?
    A white supremacist?
    Maybe he’s simply got gall.

    Dominionist darling Michele
    Was running the race for a spell
    Till they glitterbombed Marcus
    Right in his fat carcass
    The tales that that glitter could tell!

    She made up statistics ad hoc
    Till ’twas said, She’s as dumb as a rock!
    Ate corn dogs for Twitter
    Had kids by the litter
    Till voters said, let’s clean her clock.

    The crazy train’s full to the quota
    Awash in corn dogs and cream soda
    It wasn’t all clover
    Her tea party’s over
    She’s wandering ol’ Minnesota.

    The silver-spooned robotic Willard
    A pure vulture capital killer
    Does plenty of blamin’
    While banking in Cayman
    Positions bounce round like a billiard.

    Bain Capital took great enjoyment
    In creating mass unemployment
    The most hideous goof
    Was the dog on the roof
    Killer robots have no place in gov’ment.

    The Kochs and their ALEC were merry
    contemplating President Perry
    Who forgot his lines
    at inopportune times
    Or maybe he’d sipped too much sherry.

    Good ol’ boy Rick proved quite a scamp
    at the entrance to N*ggerhead Camp
    He held that prayer meeting
    but still took a beating
    ‘Vangelicals need a new champ.

    And let’s not forget Herman Cain
    Who harassed and never explained
    His signature line
    (you know, 9! 9! 9!)
    was his ticket to Crazy Train.

    John Huntsman did not have a prayer
    The voters said, there’s no ‘there’ there
    It was his reliance
    on facts and on science
    That gave the base base such a scare.

    For all who have been keeping score
    Remember that wacky bus tour
    When old grisly granny
    fell flat on her fanny
    with egg on her face evermore.

    And didn’t the polls see a jump
    for reality-TV’s old grump?
    So full of hot air
    that it spread to his hair
    Vain, egotistical Trump.

    The Cheez-Wiz he wears on his head
    looks like he was pushed out of bed
    But he hates shaking hands,
    so no campaign plans
    Gave Mitt his endorsement instead.

    Mild-mannered ex-gov Tim Pawlenty
    was quickly outgunned and outspenty
    So Timothy James
    withdrew after Ames
    His old campaign office? For Renty.

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  22. JAKvirginia says:

    My god, Zyxomma! It’s Chaucer all over again! Good job.

    One picky point: Callista may be the ice queen but no fool. She surely caught Newt wandering his eye again and told him it’s time for a Tiffany’s trip or a trip to her publisher. I’m sure she could get six-figures for that book. She probably knows where all his skeletons are buried.

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  23. The Newt is amphiblical.

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