Whoa Nelly, Now He’s Speaking in Tongues

April 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ted Cruz sometimes gets himself so wound up in the Holy Ghost Tea Party Fever that he starts making up words and having visions.  Sister Betty Sue of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club was at Freedoms Works and heard Ted speak.

He was talking about the gun vote in the senate and got himself fired up like a steam locomotive and there simply weren’t words to describe how he felt – well, there probably are, but they had to borrow them all to fill the George Bush Lieberry for the Grand Opening – so he just started making up words.

The Wall Street Journal attacked the group for letting President Obama blame Republicans for blocking gun control instead of moderate Democrats. Cruz said senators made a similar argument: “They said, ‘Listen, before you did this, the politics of it were great. The [Democrats] were the bad guys, the Republicans were the good guys. Now we all look like a bunch of squishes.’”

He replied, Cruz told the crowd, “’Well, there is an alternative. You could just not be a bunch of squishes.’”

I do not know what a squich is.  If you do, you’re lying.

The Urban Dictionary defines squish as —

That simply can’t be right.  Republicans want us to be romantic with them.  They want to do the wild thing with us, but not in the good way, ya know?

I think Ted is telling us in his crazy-dude lingo that he wants to be even more “romantic” with us, but not in the good way.  And that’s why I carry an 11 foot pole with me everywhere I go, because, Honey, I would not touch Ted Cruz with a 10 foot one.

Thanks to Maggie for the heads up.

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20 Comments to “Whoa Nelly, Now He’s Speaking in Tongues”


  1. So…. this is what they teach at Harvard?

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  2. I could make a very bad joke about his mouth being on Cruz control and having no idea what he’s saying, but…

    Sometimes you have to wonder, where do the Republicans keep finding such wonderful examples of total cluelessness? I mean, come on, he’s showing he doesn’t even have the sense God gave a bowl of buttermilk.

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  3. No. This is what they teach in the Tea Party. After all, Sarah Palin specializes in coining new words and phrases.

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  4. Never heard of a squish, but my thought on reading this was something akin to a snail less its shell. Certainly seems to modify the face in the photo.

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  5. Seriously, I laughed out loud at this:
    “And that’s why I carry an 11 foot pole with me everywhere I go, because, Honey, I would not touch Ted Cruz with a 10 foot one.”

    @TalG … I do believe … I DO believe … you just besmirched the good name of Buttermilk! LOL

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  6. Umptydump says:

    When I think of squish, i think of overripe produce. Something that’s been sitting in the vegetable drawer of your refrigerator too long – like a cucumber or green pepper that dissolves to mush when you try to take hold of it. Squish is what I think typifies a lot of Republican and Tea Party positions these days. Ideas that were rotten in the first place and have only gotten worse as they’ve lingered long past their date code. Stuff that should have been hauled off to the garbage pile of bad policy and be well on their way to decomposing naturally.

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  7. Squishes . . . first thing I thought of was the Pillsbury Doughboy. The Doughboy and Cruz kind of look alike when it comes to squishiness.

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  8. Dictionary.com defines “squish” as “a squishing sound” such as “the squish of footsteps on wet leaves.”

    Squishing: (of water, soft mud, etc.) “to make a gushing or splashing sound when walked in or on.

    So, they’re the sound of wet mud being walked upon? Or better yet, wet cow pat?

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  9. TexasEllen says:

    Carnival Cruz: A Party pooper, drifting aimlessly into squishes.

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  10. maryelle says:

    The urban dictionary defines Cruz as:
    1)someone who is selfish & narcissistic
    2)a heartless person
    3)a wannabe pimp

    I did not make this up.

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  11. I believe that someone who squishes is someone who farts. I’m going by the movie High Spirits. Yes you all do like a bunch of old farts

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  12. Teddie is even pissing off (oops – I meant, upsetting) the faithful.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2013/04/29/dont-be-a-jerk-sen-cruz/?hpid=z5

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  13. I thought squish meant that thing you do when you step on a bug. “Yeah, I squished it.”

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  14. Miss Prissybritches..... says:

    Whatever your personal idea of what a squish is…..it ain’t pretty, or polite, nor does it smell good. That’s Cruz.

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  15. Here’s a Washington Post columnist telling Cruz that he’s being a jerk and he should sit down and shut up– and she’s a conservative columnist:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2013/04/29/dont-be-a-jerk-sen-cruz/

    Making the whole brand look bad there, boy.

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  16. Mary Melton says:

    Doncha just love that there ubane dictionary? I think you could make lots of money selling those 11 ft poles!

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  17. I wonder when someone will tell him the definition…HAW!..would luv to be fly on wall when he finds out. But he probably never will…staff don’t have guts to tell these jackasses nuthin’. I would send an anonymous letter but waste of stamp. AINT even gonna send an email and get on Teabagger mailing list…OMG..the horror!

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  18. There’s a cucumber in our produce drawer that seems a bit desquishes. Maybe I should mail it to Ted Cruz?

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  19. Geesh….someone sure needs to tell that boy how to perform a rectal-cranial inversion correction.

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  20. A squish is a slug. That’s what Ted Cruz is, a slug.

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