When You Quote Mark Twain About The Internet, You Just Might Be …

December 31, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

… a candidate for governor in Arizona.

Republican State Sen. Al Melvin, who is running for governor, attributed the following quotes to Abraham Lincoln.

“You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.”

“You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.”

We’re pretty sure Lincoln never said that.  Manly, because the google will tell you that it was said by William J. H. Boetcker, a preacher who’s been dead since 1962.  However, the google will also tell you that Ronald Reagan attributed these idiotic quotes to Lincoln at the 1992 Republican National Convention.

Screen Shot 2013-12-31 at 11.11.02 AMGood Ole Al Melvin says he got the quote “from a Republican club newsletter,” where they also quoted George Washington as saying, “Barack Obama is a Kenyan Muslim.”  Okay, so I made up that last part.  I hope.  I hope I didn’t spoil the headline in the next Republican Club Newsletter.

On the amusing side, Melvin said …

“If Obama had said it, I would have credited him,” Melvin said. “I know he wouldn’t have said it, but that was the point.”

Oh, so you put attribute those quotes to things Barack Obama never said.  Well, there ya go.  That alone is proof they are correct.

My head hurts.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

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    22 Comments to “When You Quote Mark Twain About The Internet, You Just Might Be …”


    1. If Al Melvin’s point was to not credit Obama for saying something Abe Lincoln never said, then was it also his point to credit Abe Lincoln for something he also never said, but Ronald Reagan said he said?

      I can only imagine what it’s like when Al Melvin get’s into a he said-she said situation with his wife.

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    2. “And that was the reason my toy wagon fell apart . . . a screw was loose.” Oh, Al! Thanks for your example! I know I can credit that statement to you!

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    3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

      It appears that Texas didn’t corner the market on crazy. But Arizona sure has more than its fair share of grumpy old white men who do not believe in fair taxation and have no understanding of what the windfall profit tax used to be. Seems even Pope Francis is unable to remove their cold white hands from the Trickle Down myth.

      Misquoting Lincoln, Reagan and ignoring Boetcker, Melvin knows what he meant to say. If there is any luck, AZ voters will know, too and give old Melvin the big NYET.

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    4. Marge Wood says:

      The trouble with the internet is that everything can be screwed up majorly and shared in seconds and attributed and misspelled and all sorts of stuff. I love the internet, but really….

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    5. Marge Wood says:

      Here. Have a sour gumball. I’m eating all of ’em fast.

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    6. One would think that a person running for GOVERNOR would have at least ONE research assistant to verify any sayings cast out into the public. One would very obviously be wrong.

      Shades of little Randy Paul here. Sigh!!!

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    7. Oh, Rick, you’ve done it again! Thanks for untangling that for me. Republican-speak tends to tangle up the logical part of my brain.

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    8. “The problem with quotes on the Internet is the difficulty of verifying their authenticity.” — Abraham Lincoln

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    9. donquijoterocket says:

      PKM- Maybe AZ inherited part of the crazee when they decided to inaugurate the Arizona rangers in emulation of the Texas outfit or by becoming sympathizers, if not outright supporters, of the Confederate cause.AZ has long been old Confederacy lite. I believe Melvin felt it necessary to assure the voters he could be just as ignorantly off balance as their current governor. This was his version of shaking his finger in the face of the president.

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    10. If the evidence doesn’t exist, just make it up! Conservative Principle!

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    11. Polite Kool Marxist says:

      donquijoterocket, am somewhat surprised the Grand Old Fossils of AZ are not patrolling the border riding their golf carts, which many of them treat like street vehicles.

      AZ may not have heard the last of Jan Brewer. She is disputing the term limit law. Although the law clearly states two consecutive terms, whether full or partial, she doesn’t think the law applies to her.

      Maybe if she and Melvin duke it out, a Democratic candidate might slip in for an AZ miracle.

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    12. So this Repug misquoter wants to further the brotherhood of man according to the Repug agenda. Good luck with that.

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    13. Ralph Wiggam says:

      Since when did the Republicans give a hoot in Hades about “the brotherhood of man”?

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    14. Here is a REAL Mark Twain quote:
      “I have a religion…It is that there is a God for the rich man, but none for the poor.”
      How’s that for inciting class hatred!
      Oh and Pope Francis has already had quite a bit to say about helping the poor and the obsession with wealth, so just who is inciting class hatred? Just might be those who would deny unemployment insurance, food stamps, jobs programs, health insurance and social security. Look in the mirror, pal.

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    15. You also cannot help the poor by destroying the poor. Though you can add greatly to their number by destroying the middle class.

      Note that in this article the definition of “destroy” is “very slightly raise taxes on.”

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    16. SteveTheReturned says:

      Glad to hear this—I’ve seen that quote attributed to Lincoln several times. Will lay in wait for it to turn up again on Facebook, then pounce…..

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    17. donquijoterocket says:

      PKM- I had a long-time friend ,now unfortunately transitioned-to use his term- who lived in Tucson( which I realize is Baja Arizona and not quite as flaky as the rest). He used to complain vociferously about the golf carts and the governor whom he called the head Gila. I’m not surprised to hear she’s contesting the law.

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    18. Mary Patri says:

      Happy New Year to Miss Juanita Jean and friends from one of your Arizona fans. Texas may have had a head start on the crazy, but Arizona conservatives are trying hard to catch up. “Captain” Al Melvin is also known as Atomic Al because of his perennial attempts to finance public education by encouraging nuclear waste dumps to locate in Arizona to iincrease the tax base. If you want a real laugh, do a Google search.
      He rode the Tea Party wave after retiring to Pima County. He represents an area predominated by elderly, white, retired folks who relocated here from conservative states. His devoted following has now convinced him he’s ready for a state-wide platform. Local comics have offered to fund his campaign to get new material.
      Texas and Arizona shall overcome it all, though. Good luck to Wendy Davis and Blue Texas. Arizona is also taking its first steps to join the fight for sanity.

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    19. Elizabeth says:

      So Rev. Beotcker has his “Ten Cannots” and “Seven National Crimes” in Wikipedia…and not one of them has anything to do with Christianity. Some clergyman HE is. Sounds like he’s one who found that politics pays better…precursor of those whose names are more easily pronounced at sight (Robertson, Falwell, etc.) The plague of false prophets.

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    20. Corinne Sabo says:

      Maybe someone should teach this idiot how to Google.

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    21. “You cannot help the rich by destroying the poor. You cannot weaken the strong by strengthening the weak.”

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    22. Mimi Diane says:

      When I read this quote on my sister’s refrigerator, I knew it sounded much more like Fox News than Lincoln. Thank you for setting the record straight. If they can rewrite the Bible, why not history?

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