Well Howdy There, Bobby and Ricky
Bobby Jindal announced that it was too soon to talk about gun control after the slaughter of Louisiana citizens sitting in a movie theater. We need to wait for 10 or 12 thousand other slaughters before we mention the word gun.
The Louisiana shooter was able to legally buy a gun at an Alabama pawnshop. Hell, you can buy anything at an Alabama pawnshop including a wife, broken dreams, and banjos directly from Deliverance.
Jindal claims the shooter would never have been able to buy guns in Louisiana because he was nuts with charges of soliciting arson and domestic violence. So Jindal’s solution is that every state have tough background checks like Louisiana.
Idiot.
That’s the whole damn problem with “state’s rights.” There’s some ornery states, mostly including the one I live in. We sell guns to kindergartners in Texas. And because of something called pockets, you can buy a gun in Texas and shoot somebody in Louisiana.
You just made our case, Bobby.
And then up bounced Rick Perry.
God help us all.
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) claimed that if people could bring their guns to the movies, they could have prevented the movie theater shooting in Lafayette, Louisiana, Thursday evening.
“These concepts of gun-free zones are a bad idea. I think that you allow the citizens of this country — who have been appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms — to carry them,”
Yeah, yeah! What this country really needs is amateurs shooting guns in dark movie theaters. Hell, we don’t need on damn movie – we’ll just do The Gun Fight at OK Corral right there in the audience.
Those damn smart glasses didn’t help Rick Perry one bit.
Thanks to chloe bear and Mikey for the heads up.
Paging Gov Perry,
Hank Hill called and he want’s his glasses back!
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/421756143976067072/TyCkvtY6.jpeg
1Bobby and Ricky – – just don’t trust grown up men with kid names. And Bobby Jindal, that was damn spineless of you!
2Fool, is he trying to kill off movie theaters? Is he an operative of Netfix?
3Our military commanders have deemed it inappropriate for TRAINED military personnel to carry firearms on military bases, so how in heaven’s name can pRick make such an idiotic statement? And the answer is…he needs to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, followed immediately by a full frontal lobotomy!
4Do these nutjobs even listen to themselves? Tough federal gun restrictions coupled with an agency competent enough to enforce them instantaneously in addition to an updated database of people who are in need of psychiatric help and intense follow through from mental health professionals are the must-haves to reduce these domestic terrorist events. If the military recognizes the need to disarm soldiers on their bases, then the civilian populace should have the same protection.
5God save us from the Republicans.
You are so right. I can’t imagine the chaos in a dark theater with bullets flying all over the place! Makes me not want to go to a movie. When will this craziness stop?
6Or maybe the problem is you can get guns just about anywhere. I’m waiting for the gun vending machine next to the RedBox movie rental machine. If the rental sucks you can shoot up your den. Breaking News in 3… 2… 1…
7If you are slightly annoyed by the couple of guys or gals sitting off to your left there in the cinema who keep using their smart phones during the film, you’re gonna be really annoyed by the muzzle flashes, explosive booms and lead bullets flying when the Tea Party approved firefight starts. Might make you quickly head to the exit and never return. Or you might pull out your concealed handgun and join in the “fun”. Something for everyone I guess. Note to self: “bring flamethrower the next time She (who must be obeyed) wants to catch a flick.”
8Bobby and Ricky join the circus.
9And then we have the recent report from the violence policy center (http://www.vpc.org/press/1406gundeath.htm) that says that Louisiana has the highest gun death rate in the nation and that high gun death rates correlate with lax gun ownership laws…although the findings are a bit dated: Texas may have climbed on the list since 2011 since our fine guvs have done so much to help us arm ourselves better.
10Ricky Perry approves of the Louisiana shooter since he was a citizen of this country so he’s ok with the shooter carrying a gun. And, I’m sure his definition of “appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms” means ZERO training and NO background checks because all NRA politicians have resisted any limitations to purchasing guns.
11The Louisiana shooter shot and killed the two women sitting directly in front of him. How would their carrying guns have helped that? Night vision goggles? Eyes in the backs of their heads?
12Gov. Perry, have you ever heard the expression “a shot in the dark”?
“shot in the dark:
13A wild, unsubstantiated guess; also, an attempt that has little chance for success.”
To Bobby and Ricky: In future, please attempt to engage brain before opening mouth. Now go to your rooms and think about what you did wrong.
14The more shots fired, the more deaths and injuries. I say stick Perry in a dark movie theater filled with other gun nuts invited to see a new [whatever they’d go for] movie, with special dispensation to carry their various weapons. Theaters on both sides are empty, and walls reinforced with blast panels so no one else is in danger.
During the movie, one radio-controlled “bad guy” previously concealed in the theater stands up and starts shooting blanks, not directly at anyone. This is an automaton or robot dressed like a person, in dark clothes, including a Kevlar vest and helmet. We can then test the hypothesis that if all the moviegoers had guns, they’d kill the bad guy before he killed anyone and everyone would be safe.
Surveillance and after-action analysis & forensics to determine total number of shots fired by bad guy (and others), location of all shooters (muzzle flashes would work except for those with illegal weapon adaptations), and total number of deaths/injuries. All deaths/injuries matched to gun type that fired the ammunition.
“Bad guy” shoots until “killed” by shot hitting appropriate body part.
How many “good guys” actually fire their weapons? How long do “good guys” keep shooting after the bad guy quits? Does anyone hit the bad guy in a way that would disabled/kill it? Do the “good guys” realize there’s only one “bad guy”? Do they locate the “bad guy” and target the bad guy only? How many are injured/dead?
Alternatively, just lock the doors and see if anyone comes out when you unlock them at the end of the movie. I will bet two boxes of donuts that any survivors now understand why everyone shooting wildly in a dark theater is a bad idea.
15I’d like to post something clever, but so far I can’t stop choking over the phrase “the citizens of this country — who have been appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms.”
Proving once again that the WingNuts live in an imaginary, alternate universe.
16To Elizabeth Moon:
17That would be a fascinating experiment. Seriously. It might lay to rest this “give everyone guns” meme for good. (I know that is doubtful) What is always interesting to me is the many stories involving shooting where even at close range people miss, or shoot a foot or themselves in the heat of action. The fact is, I know there are plenty of people, mostly people with small winkies, who would enthusiastically volunteer to be in that theater thinking they would be the “hero” who majestically
rose to the occasion.
pRick Perry, the solution to the Fox Not the News debate problem. Problem being open democracy, when six of sixteen potential voices are silenced.
I would encourage Fox Not … to embrace the 3 most popular Amendments as voiced by Republican candidates. Let them all speak; all sixteen. Let them all open carry to the stage. And, under the provisions of the 14th Amendment, let her rip. “Her” being the Republican regard for not only the 1st, 2nd and 14th Amendments, but also their love of the underlying freedoms, including their freedom to convene a circular firing squad.
All suggestions welcome for the audience participation portion of the debate.
18@Mark Schlemmer
Since you brought it up…
I had a part-time business teaching street cops, especially newbies, how to survive a gunfight on the street I started with one small county SO and over many years added a new PD or SO every couple of years. I took time off from my real job and taught this course at whatever time of the day or season the customer wanted.
Then the Giffords shooting happened. Almost all the departments called at once. Could I study the actual event and put on a training to help teach these departments how to deal with such an event. I did the study, formulated a course, and put it on gratis for my oldest customer. The twist I added was to have another set of shooters remain hidden until the police and security people identified themselves. In the training session, the hidden shooters maneuvered and shot every on scene deputy, security person, and emergency first responder. It was ugly. The captain overseeing the event for my customer cursed me and accused me of intentionally embarrassing his department. A bit later the sheriff ended our contract. Within a few days so had all the other departments.
It isn’t just the civilians that don’t understand how gunfights work and how hard you have to work to counter the bad guys with guns.
19“Those damn smart glasses didn’t help Rick Perry one bit.”
Every time he opens his mouth… we know that’s true. 🙂
20I hope some reporter starts asking Perry about Curtis Reeves, loudly and often and very, very publicly. Reeves legally took his police revolver into a movie theater, just like Perry wants everyone to be able to do.
And then Reeves used that gun to shoot a man dead for the crime of texing the babysitter – *before* the movie even started, mind you.
Someone ask Perry about Reeves. Someone make Perry explain why he thinks more murders like that will make us safer.
21according to RWNJ (logic?) in which a surfeit of armaments makes any locale or situation safer, a combat zone ought to be the safest place in the world.my take as in the Aurora Colorado theater gunning is that if other patrons had been armed the casualty count would have been higher. Neither Perry or Piyush have ever been exposed to targets which move and shoot back.
22Another reason to stay home to watch movies. And I love going to the movies. I like staying alive even more.
23Well, the glasses mean we don’t have to look at quite so much of his face.
A burka would work even better.
24Wonkette weighs in: http://wonkette.com/592118/rick-perry-gives-guns-in-movie-theaters-two-thumbs-up
25How to shoot a shooter in a dark theater for dummies instructional: on CNN Newsroom was legal expert and Gunz R Funz advocate Philip Holloway (Gov Perry, too)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfxf7hUDgvE
Holloway translated: Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup.
26LynnN, can’t get the image of Perry in a burka out of my head.
especially if he kept his useless glasses on. ‘Tis to laugh.
Micr, were you quoting Rumpole of the Bailey with “She who must be obeyed”? Loved that series.
Texas Trailerpark Trash, your “eyes in the back of their heads” comment is exactly what all of us would need to have even an
27icicle’s chance in hell of surviving. Also, Perry should begin wearing his glasses on the back of his head. There’s a Repug fashion statement.
@maryelle
28Well maybe. H Rider Haggard wrote She, the novel, which became a dreadful 1965 flick featuring Ursula Andress. Since the early ’70s I refer to my little bride as “She, who must be obeyed”. It’s mostly complimentary.
One of our local yahoos had a concealed carry license. You know, one of those guys that Rick says has passed a test and a background check. Well, hell. He was convicted in Montana for – guess what – arson and domestic violence. Just like the Louisiana shooter. Lotta good that Texas background check did.
29Rick Perry and Booby Jondahl:
As someone who lives in Lafayette, I ask you. Please.
Shut the **** up.
Shut.
The.
****.
Up.
Please.
30@Lynn N #24: Yes, a burkha would work better, but a plastic bag with a nice snug tie would be best of all.
31Thank you, JJ and all your clients. Why does the right wing keep shouting, “More guns! More guns! We’ll all be safe if we have more guns!” And what the heck is that business about “appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms?” What? Huh? Elizabeth Moon is correct — lock them all in a dark movie theater (hopefully, one that is currently showing a shoot-em-up movie with lots of bangs and explosions) and see who comes out.
No wonder Trump is ahead in the polls — as Andy Borowitz has written, the bar has finally reached ground level and can’t go any further down.
More guns, more guns, we need more guns! I need to buy a gun right away!!!
32http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/07/24/there-have-been-204-mass-shootings-and-204-days-in-2015-so-far/
Good thing fer ‘murricans that guns don’t kill people.huh?
33Can I use those weapons against the parents of the bored toddler who decides to amuse himself by kicking the back of my seat because he doesn’t like the PG 13 movie you want to watch and you’re too lazy to get a baby sitter (nor are you willing to take the time to discipline the child after several request from me that he stop it.) If only I had spotted you before you reproduced.
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