Welcome to Texas, Jim Bob, We’re Having Ourselves a Tea Party

August 01, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I just want you folks from foreign states to know that the Republican Party in Texas died last night.  I blame it on George Bush and Rick Perry, but then again I blame everything on them including bad hair days, hangnails, and my bad mood.

I don’t think I can express how bad it really is.  About midnight last night I heard that we’re moving the state capitol to a cabin outside of Fort Stockton with a large “I Hate The Guvmint” sign out front.  Yeah, they hate the government except for their social security, their farm subsidies, their medicare, their good-ole-boy contracts, their ag exemptions, and the right to peek inside a woman’s private parts when they suspect she’s pregnant.

It’s bad.  It’s real bad.

.

.

If I didn’t live here, I wouldn’t live here.

Look, we probably couldn’t get this set of Republicans committed by the court to the wacky ward, but if they walked in there by mistake, they could not prove their way out.

Damn, y’all, my own county just nominated a guy who makes Louie Gohmert look reasonable.

Bubba says we’re investing in a stage coach because these guys don’t believe in that there infrastructure stuff and the only way outta Texas might be over land with me riding shotgun.

I think the magnitude of the Tea party takeover of the GOP kinda shocked everybody.  Lookie here at the Texas Tribune yesterday at about 5:30.

Eke out?  They said eke out.  Hellfire, Crazy Cruz won with 57% of the vote out of 1.1 million Republican voters.  That is not eke out.  That is freak out.

Crazy Cruz

I’m going back to bed and pulling the covers over my head until the dreams of Ted Cruz prancing up and down the Capitol steps leaves my head.  Then I’m drinking a couple of Margaritas and singing Elvis songs on the back porch until the neighbors complain.  I cannot for the life of me think of anything better to do today.

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0 Comments to “Welcome to Texas, Jim Bob, We’re Having Ourselves a Tea Party”


  1. BarbinDC says:

    So, maybe another Senate pickup for the Dems?

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  2. This guy has a very different take on the whole thing:
    http://prospect.org/article/ted-cruzs-deceptive-triumph

    From the article:
    Despite the tales Carroll and others spin, Cruz is hardly a measure of Tea Party purity—and far from a repudiation of the Bush era. In fact, George W. Bush made Ted Cruz. He began as a legal expert for Dubya’s presidential campaign in 2000—after the bitter rivalry between the Bush/Rove camp and the Perry people had begun to divide the Texas GOP. Cruz was a Bushie—and still is. He got positions at the Justice Department and the Federal Trade Commission and, recognizing that service, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott appointed Cruz as the state’s solicitor general in 2003. Last year, when Cruz filed for U.S. Senate, it was the up-and-coming political star of the Bush family, George P. Bush, whose group Hispanic Republicans of Texas became one of the first to give him a big endorsement.

    All this election was is a changing of the guard, both these men were about as close to the same ideologically as can be. I think the teabaggers are going to be vastly disappointed, another GOP shill has used them like toilet paper.

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  3. Stephanie in Arlington says:

    I was also horrified when I heard the news this morning. I wouldn’t live here either if I didn’t live here. 🙁

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  4. Today we all feel for Texas, could this be a wake up call?
    Will share some humerous comments heard today,
    Why does Romney walk along like he is mincinc, is it because he is constipated and when he has his hair colored does he cover the sideburns with vaseline to keep them grey?
    Also one lady swear he has a scar down his face that tells he has had a facelift, have you ladies detected anything amiss?
    Perhaps the scar is where they open him up to program him!~

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  5. Sgt Mike on vacation says:

    So the GOP is dead. Long live the GOP.

    Does this mean that some of the now-disenfranchised former GOP members who did not goose step, aren’t (quite so) fascist, will look at and vote for Democratic candidates, locally, state-wide, and nationally in upcoming elections??

    I want my State back. LBJ has probably dug a tunnel rolling in his grave over these Tea Party folk.

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  6. Uncle Dave says:

    Assuming that sCruz wins in November will his voting record in the Senate be any worse than what we would have expected from DoWorst? Interestingly, Rachel Madow quoted someone as saying that Cruz’s nomination would lead to Texas becoming purple in four years. Perhaps enough of the $20,000 a year Texas millionaires will begin to smell the coffee and start voting in a manner consistent with their self-interests. Regardless, nationally, by doubling down on voter suppression, hate issues, and blatant greed, Republicans will either win the White House and peak this year, or lose the White House and peak with the 2014 elections. For several election cycles following, their only hope will be for Democrats to shoot ourselves in the feet, something we have been known to do.

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  7. OMG….I’m going to quote the “$20,000-a-year Texas millionaires”. I know so many of them. I frequently fantasize giving them all an I.Q. test for fun, just to see if I could get an average number above room temperature.

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  8. Okey-dokie says:

    Kary – Good luck on IQ testing those millionaire wanna bees. You’ll have to teach them how to fill in the bubble with a pencil.

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  9. Janice Stewart says:

    Kansas is just as bad with the $20,000-a-year millionaires voting against their own interests. I’m in Kansas but might move back to Texas (which will always be home) if they weren’t so much alike. It would be like going from the frying pan into the fire.

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  10. Thoughts while shaving.

    Two rights used, and abused.

    The right to remain stupid, and freedom of speech.

    Often exercised together.

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  11. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    The NYTimes has an article about Cruz which refers to him as a “Tea Party Intellectual” which is a blatant oxymoron. Why oh why can’t we have a better press corps?

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  12. At times like this just keep in mind the Law of Unintended Consequences. The Tea Party takeover of the House in 2010 has not brought them the glory they expected. Actually getting power exposes them for what they are.

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  13. donquijoterocket says:

    @ Don A- you have to realize “tea-party intellectual” is a relative term meaning he can add two numbers and come up with the correct sum half the time. Since most of our “press”is not much smarter they’re impressed by this feat.

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  14. I feel like a tornado came through, and plunked me down into Kentucky.

    Good Grief!

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  15. Kate oDubhagain says:

    There is something about Cruz that is just deeply and profoundly creepy. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s there.

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  16. Bubba’s comment about getting a stagecoach and the TP not believing in infrastructure reminds me of the tales I hear from in-laws who occasionally go back to visit family in the former Soviet Union. The ex-apparatchiks who “privatized” (i.e., pocketed) all of the public assets of course no longer believe in public anything; they are now pure capitalists. Roads bad? Fly your helicopter over them. Power grid failure? Run your own private generator. Packs of wild dogs roaming the street? Let them eat the poor. You think I’m joking? Alas, nyet.

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  17. The Republican Party played with fire and burned the whole state down. Can we charge them with arson? On the plus side, I am feeling Schadenfreude-ish today.

    http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2012/07/tonights-second-biggest-loser.html

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  18. I am so sorry to be the “….Optimist” in the club, but I want someone to notice that our little ol’ district in Central Texas threw out Sid Miller. I think the picture in the new Texas Monthly was the crowning blow. The local good ol’ boys finally realized that Sid is too dumb to know when to take his hat off, and that was it. We also knocked out the Tea Party hero Riddle. I could not bring myself to vote in a Republican primary, but our folks did a damn good job!

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  19. @ Kate oDubhagain, it’s probably just your gaydar going off when you look at Tea Party Republican. The contradiction is probably what is creeping you out.

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  20. Ted Cruz is a Cuban, who got “citizenship” when he landed on these shores……

    This is an eye-opener. He’s not that crazy about “Hispanics”.

    http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/07/31/619461/five-things-to-know-about-gop-senate-candidate-ted-cruz/

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  21. publius bolonius says:

    Conversely, Hispanics ain’t that crazy about Cubans.

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  22. grown-up Eddie Munster is whats giving you the creeps, Anna

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  23. I’m in Iowa. So I can’t even giggle. We’ve got our own batch of wacko mouth-breathers.

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  24. There is something really off about the man.
    He has mean crazy cruel eyes.
    If he wins, we will be hearing about him, and not in a good way.

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  25. Miemaw,
    Depending on which part of Kentucky you land in I can break out the bourbon.

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  26. Cynthianne says:

    It’s the prim little smile that creeps me out… I get the same reaction to Justice Roberts of the SC.

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  27. I took spanish for 3 years from a cuban. They do not consider themselves hispanic and hate mexicans. She even said she taught proper spanish and if we went to Mexico they would’nt be able to understand us! Speaking of public school, why didn’t he go to one?

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  28. The political situation in Texas has made me cuss alot lately. I am working real hard not to say the m, f and especially gd words. I am trying to get in the habit of saying Rick Perry, and now am adding Ted Cruz as a proper substitute. If I am really mad I say them both together. Is that ok with your momma?

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  29. CenterOfMass says:

    Isn’t it also the case that no partially-free-thinking person would trust David Dewhurst for anything?

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  30. san fraser says:

    I would imagine mama would not mind any of the repupliscum spokespersons as a substitute – but maybe not – some are pretty dire.

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