Wait a Minute! Wait a Minute! Wait Just a Damn Minute!

March 30, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Tacked to the snack room door

The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, which posted hundreds of civilian volunteers along the U.S.-Mexico border over the past five years, has disbanded, citing what it called “rising aggression” in the country and decisions by lawmakers in Washington who have “pushed amnesty down our throats.”

“The mental attitude of many Americans is turning meaner … and we are concerned that this could cause problems,” MCDC President Carmen Mercer told The Washington Times on Monday. “You see aggression surfacing even at the tea party marches. We just did not want to deal with the liability anymore.

“Turning meaner?  Did she say ‘turning meaner’?  Somebody run that flag a little higher up the pole, Honey, because I think my hearing is hiking,” Juanita nearly snorts coffee on Verdelia’s hair this morning.

“These are the Border Minutemen – the meanest damn people on earth.  They have to look up to see the bottom of hell.  They get all duded-up in their paramilitary gear and announce they are going to protect the border with their binoculars and more small arms than the Italian military.  And now they want to back down?  What?  Did the media leave?”

“Carmen Mercer is one mean hussy.  She’s the only woman I know who clips coupons for ammo,” Juanita tells everybody who hasn’t already lost their hearing from the racket she’s making hollering about the irony of this situation.  It seems that earlier this month, the Border Hoarders had a different attitude —

The MCDC announcement that it was dissolving came as a surprise to many in the movement, particularly in light of pronouncements by Ms. Mercer earlier this month that the organization was looking for more volunteers this year to show up on the border “locked and loaded.”

“This muster will be completely different. … We return to the border locked, loaded and ready to stop each and every individual we encounter along the frontier that is now more dangerous than the frontier of Afghanistan,” she said in a March 16 posting on the MCDC Web site. “This operation will not be for the faint of heart.”

“I suspect they’ll tell us that ‘locked and loaded’ was one of those Sarah Palin metaphors for ‘giving those poor people a cool drink of water,'” Juanita suggests.

“I suspect that her excuse has about the same amount of fact as a turtle has feathers,” she says.  “I’ve heard of people changing directions, but you’d think she was at a square dance with a drunk for a caller.”

“She invented mean,” Thelma pipes in.  “She has the patent on mean.  She has a mean machine that meanorates on British Mean Day with a Mean-o-licious punch to the to her meanaide ….”

Somebody tell Thelma to shuddup before she hurts herself.

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