Trump Team Baffled By Words!

September 29, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

The Trump campaign has published a list of acceptable words for everyone to use so that the Republican candidate and his merry minions don’t get confused. “They won’t stick to our talking bits,” complained one aide.  “We don’t know what is meaned.” The new lexicon is mostly synonyms for “big,” and has fewer words than the average dog understands.

The list, comprising approximately 200 words and their derivative forms, including “bigly,” represents an effort on the campaign’s behalf to ensure that no one can look smarter than the tongue-tied Trump, simply by having an eighth grade vocabulary.

For instance, that last paragraph would translate into Trumpspeak as “The list has lots of words, good words, the BEST words and it’s a huge list, so that Mr Trump can talk gooder than anyone.  It has lots of words, I can tell you them all, I could tell more than anyone.”

Ironically, the list does not contain the word “irony.”  Kellyanne Conway, Trump “Big Talker Person” says that “the running for President man has superior genes which do not include the gene for that word you just said that we don’t know of but emails, Benghazi.”

Under the new Trump Rules of Tawkin and Speling, all sentences must end with the words “email, Benghazi.”  Also, under the new rules, Trump’s verbal SAT score has been retroactively raised from 17 to 1000 on a scale of 800.

Trump rules for that number thingy (fka “Math”) will have be wroted soonly, email.


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27 Comments to “Trump Team Baffled By Words!”

  1. Love! So perfect. Will share 🙂

  2. Proven again, just today. Kelly Ann went on The View and confessed that Trump committed crimes in Cuba. She was trying to exonerate him and just dug him in deeper.

    Those big words will getcha every time, Kelly Ann. Stick with one syllable to a word, k?
    If you need help, I’ll email you the definition of the word, “syllable.” Of course, it contains words of more than one syllable itsownself.

    Oh, never mind.

  3. Marcia in CO says:

    Wait … what the what? LOL My God, none of that made a lick of sense!

  4. I do not understand why Kelly Ann is constantly on the airwaves. We do not see Robby Mook on TV every 5 minutes. Robby Mook speaks in complete sentences, uses proper English and is much more fun to look at than Kelly Ann.

  5. You’re doing it wrong. It’s BENGHAZI!!!!!

  6. I am totally entertained! Most every reasonable American is totally entertained!

    But I still worry about the unreasonable, not so informed, Americans.

  7. The Trump Dictionary. You can tweet it.

  8. Come on guys,—Kellyann has the second hardest job in the world. She has to try and ex-plane what he might have meant.And why it was not a lie. What ever he is paying her it is not enough
    The hardest job is his wife. He married her for her looks, she married him for his money. He will die before she is old and looks it. But meanwhile she has to lie to him every day about how great he is. That has got to be the worst job ever. Remember when one of his Exs. said he was the best sex she ever had. I thought at the time she should get out more. Now that he’s been gone a few years, turns out he is not in the top ten.

  9. I can’t tell if this is parody or not. But there’s a problem with the kink, JJ. And the link, too. (Was that autocorrect or me….?)

  10. Widdle babeez can’t tawk so goodly.

  11. This is one of the ways Trump is making America great again…by dumbing down Americans.

  12. Remember when New Gingrich had a list of words and phrases to be used in campaigns? Can he be the author of the latest list?

  13. JAKvirginia says:

    Primo? You’re wrong. Irony is there. It’s right after “washy”.

  14. JAKvirginia says:

    OT, slightly, but is about words.

    Have you noticed that the word “Republican” is disappearing this last few months. FOX titles Donnie as the “GOP Presidential Candidate”. Locally for me, Barbara Comstock’s (R) signs and mailers only say “Running for Congress” with no party affiliation. You’ve gotta dig to find that R word. The party is trying to save it’s downticket butt by disassociating with the CheetoMan. Dems need to do something about that.

    We need to let the DNC and Hillary’s campaign know they have got to link Donnie to the Rs. Never mention Donnie without Republican before his name! Never.

  15. And we thought Dubya was verbally challenged with his use of nucular, strategery and so many other nonsense words.

  16. LOL @ JAK – good one!

  17. Fred Farklestone says:

    Here’s a sound that the Trump team is hearing more and more!

  18. I think even “Thing Explainer” would go over Team Trump’s heads.

    In Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words, things are explained in the style of Up Goer Five, using only drawings and a vocabulary of the 1,000 (or “ten hundred”) most common words. Explore computer buildings (datacenters), the flat rocks we live on (tectonic plates), the things you use to steer a plane (airliner cockpit controls), and the little bags of water you’re made of (cells).

  19. I could cry! I taught really poor kids in an inner city school. Most of them did not have any books at home. Certainly not a dictionary. I rounded up a bunch of old dictionaries and presented them to the class. I told them they could have them free for nothing. Most of them took me up on the offer. A few gave me as much as a nickel. All of them were proud of their dictionary, even to the point of hugging them. They knew the words inside had power. All they had to do was learn them. And then there is wee Donnie Deep Pockets and he could care less.

  20. Erm –

    That link leads to a post on C&L about some wack-a-loon ex-general complaining that Obama won’t use his oogedy-boogedy conjuring words (“radical Islam”).

    Twice now in a month; if Bubba is vetting your links you might wanna double-check his time card…

  21. Maggie: You just made my day. Thanks.

  22. “We don’t know what it meaned.” What??? Apparently they didn’t teach grammar where this person went to school. It’s not “meaned”…. it’s “meant.” No, I’m not a teacher, but I’m beyond appalled at the grammar stupidity of “well-educated” people on television. I guess that’s because I went to school a loooong time ago.

  23. Nice story Maggie, and first rate comparison of wonderful children and Scumpf.

  24. I learned today that prior to the debate, I was suffering from a real thing. A radio psychologist, not that idiot Dr. Phil, announced it: TAD
    That’s Trump Anxiety Disorder.

    Not no more, after the orange orangutan made such a poo flinging fool of himself. Yeah!

    I saw my primary doc today, an awesome black woman. We talk about a little politics too. She believes Scumpf is suffering from a pathological degree of narcissism and sociopathy. It’s official now, from a real M.D. Call the guys in the white coats with the big butterfly net and multi-buckled long sleeved jacket. Time to haul his royal insaneness away.

  25. Karen Sagstetter says:

    I’m an aspiring scribe myself and I totally get the Donald’s creative elocutions with all those words. I’m staying tuned because I don’t want to pay taxes, either.

  26. daChipster says:

    Guys! Am I gonna hafta start addin’ /satire at the end? Link is accurate: Flynn can’t figure out whom to fight unless we say “radical Islam” – i.e. Nuance, spoofed here as literacy, is not in their lexicon. I could have been clearer, I had been up 32 strsight hrs at the time. Sorry.

  27. JAKvirginia says:

    Wow, daChipster! Next time try being up 32 gay hours. Much more fun.