The GOP State of Play

October 29, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

by Primo Encarnación

Nothing has changed from yesterday to today, even with that debate intervening. So let’s check the status of the race:

Ben Carson leads the GOP nomination fight because nobody can understand a word he says, even when they can hear him.

Donald Trump has fallen so far that even Chuck Todd is mocking him. However, he hasn’t fallen far enough to, you know, SPLATTER on the metaphorical sidewalk. But as long as he keeps writing Hillary’s ads against any future opponent, let’s keep him around.

Marco Rubio seems to be number 3 with a bullet. If I were forced to place a bet, it would be on this guy winning the nomination.  At which point Hillary will select a Castro Brother (Texan, not Cuban) for veep.

Jeb?!? maybe the Bush family used up all their wishes to make a gold-bricking, frat-boy, coke-head, dry drunk the President of the United States, and that genie has now decamped for Canada.

Mike Huckabee: running for POTUS (Pastor of the United States), Huckabee has decided that his interpretation of God’s word is sufficient to serve as the template for human history from here on out. Hubris is one thing, but when they baptized this guy, they held him under too long/not long enough.

Snarly Failurina. ‘Nuff said.

Rand “I’m not Ron but right about now I’m wishing I was” Paul. Go home, son. Quit politics. It’s over.

Ted Cruz tried to overcome the unlikability factor last night by saying “I’m not the guy you want to have a drink with, but I am the guy you want driving you home.” He should have said “designated driver” but instead it came across as Ted Cruzing bars at closing time to find drunk chicks to take home. Ted Cruz ’16: Skeevy AND cheap!

I’m Chris Christie / Couldn’t be Prouder / If you won’t Vote for me / I’ll Yell a little Louder!

John Kasich’s new campaign slogan: “Are you frickin’ KIDDING me?” Trump tagged him last night: as a managing director of Lehmann Bros, Kasich managed to direct them into a crater, starting the Great Recession. Kasich is going to hang around because, let’s face it, he’s done all the damage to Ohio he can do, and he’s positioning himself as the one who will stab America in the back. All the rest of these idiots are offering to stab us in the face. So I guess that’s an improvement?

Next to leave: Rand. Next to move up from the kids table: Miz Lindsey. Next to pretend everything is OK right up until the point where it isn’t: Jeb$! Next to wonder why the hell he got out: Snott Wanker.

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31 Comments to “The GOP State of Play”


  1. Larry from Colorado says:

    Wow! Nailed it!

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  2. Thanks for the run-down, Primo. One thing Carson managed to get across was that he intends to tax the GDP to make up the money lost when he reduces all income tax to 15%. Who does he think will come up with the taxes for the GDP? The government? That sure makes perfect sense. No wonder he speaks so softly, hoping no one will hear what he says.

    Christie is trying to fear monger senior citizens by claiming that Social Security will become insolvent in 8 years and that it is nothing but a bunch of I.O.U.’s. Of course those I.O.U.’s are treasury bonds, but why sweat the details?

    Cruz thought he would make points by attacking the media and the questioners. Typical tactic when you have little else of substance to say.

    Rubio called Hillary a liar over the Benghazi/video semantics, while virtually all of those morons lied through their teeth. Just read some of the fact checking articles and you will see that the old “facts are not relevant” republican MO is alive and well.

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  3. Elizabeth Moon says:

    Somebody needs to remind Christie that if the Republicans would pay back the billions they stole from the Social Security backup funds, we wouldn’t be having this discussion at all.

    What I think is that Bush/Cheney not only did all the other dirt they did, they were looking forward to getting entirely rid of Social Security when they raided it for war money and Homeland Security money.

    As usual, whatever the Republicans accuse a Democrat of, they’re already doing and think should be their personal monopoly.

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  4. I’m convinced Ben Carson is on Quaaludes.

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  5. A national political party SHOULD make a careful and critical examination of (all) its available talent before nominating one to carry its standard into a November Presidential election. Got not one problem with that. But why do this so publically?? The Dems have been ugly too from time to time, but this GOP circus of “debate”s sets new lows for the political process. How many are in the race now, 40 or 50? Come on GOP. The bench isn’t that deep. There may be 1 or 2 qualified Republicans to hold the office. Neither of them is in the running so far. The GOP desperately needs Dad to come home. The house is smoldering still and the police, fire and EMS people are still in the front yard. What a mess!

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  6. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Primo the Primo keeping it 100!

    But you were too nice. Seriously. Too nice. Particularly in the instance of Water Boy Rubio. The Republicon powers that be have no shame, but an argument can be made that they might prefer not to endorse another quitter of the $arah magnitude. If being a Senator is too difficult, how does this jack-wagon make the jump to President?

    And, Jeb(?) has cooler things he could be doing than running for President. That statement alone tells me he really is the dumber brother. Of course Dubya made it look easy, easier than running for President, when all he had to do was raise his hand to take the oath of office, then turn over all functions to Cheney and cabal.

    Whoever becomes the Republicon nominee will be a winner by default. The Republicon convention will be a fracas. If fracus is defined as freak circus.

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  7. I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud, but I agree with every word of this.

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  8. TTPT, you made my favorite comment of the day.

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  9. First, the R’s tend to perpetuate the myth that government is funded by tax revenue. Pray tell where do people get the dollars to pay taxes if government doesn’t spend them out into the economy first? (Pretty obvious, at least in retrospect: Taxes make the money valuable, they don’t provision government)

    …And then making fun of R’s is roughly like shooting fish in a barrel. The real problem with this is that the Republican Clown car is extremely effective at shifting public discourse rightward. After all, R’s lost the popular vote in several recent elections….Yet they continue to run the country!

    Really and truly, they’ll stop acting crazy when it stops working…and when D’s stop following them. Seriously. It’s Nixon/Romneycare, not Obamacare!

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  10. Lindsay complained recently that he can’t believe he’s losing to a whacko and an attempted murderer. He might consider this as something he should have kept to himself.

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  11. Kate oDubhagain says:

    Cher had a great quote about Ben Carson…”He says the most awful things in a Mr. Rodgers voice.”

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  12. Didn’t anyone tell these idiots the difference between a debate and a bunch of drunks arguing in a bar?

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  13. two crows says:

    Here in Florida, people are terrified Rubio will take the gold ring.

    Folks here are fed up with his refusing to do his day job while simultaneously bucking for a promotion. Likewise, we’ve had it up to here with his Little Lord Fauntleroy message, “I’m entitled to whatever I can steal because Castro!”

    Our fear boils down to this: WE know what he’s made of and what he has done here but the the people around the country who cannot bring themselves to vote for anyone without an R behind her/his name may just go for him because he’s less crazy-sounding than most of what’s available. Then all he has to do is sway about 7 or 8% of the swings.

    He’s unlikely to carry Florida [and Jeb! certainly won’t.] That says one heckuva lot, don’t you think? Buyer beware.

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  14. Uncle Dave says:

    Cruz is too prissy. Carson is too weird, even for Republicans. Fiorina looks as though she is auditioning for a laxative ad. Trump has become tiresome, like a comedian who has one schtick that we have all heard too many times. Bush’s campaign may be over. Rubio may be the Republican’s choice by default.

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  15. daChipster says:

    Katy – my view is the more people who agree with every word I write, and say so out loud, the better off the world will be. Wouldn’t you agree?

    RayS – on behalf of drunks arguing in bars everywhere, me and Uncle Jimmy “Barstool” Grobnik say “Yeah? So’s yer mutter!” Followed by a raspberry which I can’t spell onomatopoetically.

    Uncle Dave – Fiorina – laxative ad – the BEFORE picture, obviously! Except her mouth – that needs an anti-diarrheal!

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  16. “Fiorina looks as though she is auditioning for a laxative ad. ”
    Uncle Dave, you really need to issue a spew alert before using phrases like this one. Thankfully I just bought a latex cover for my keyboard.

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  17. Anybody know why carson retired? I ask since the more I find out about him the more I think this guy has left some of his marbles in some patient’s skull.
    deChipster, as a politico operative, you seem to assert that clinton will be the dem’s nominee without regard for Sanders. I may be wrong. But if not, could you please clarify why hillary wins over sanders? Thanks.

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  18. Craig in Indep MO says:

    Wow, wow, and wow, again, Primo! As my kidz used to say, “You’re da bomb!” – – you absolutely NAILED the GOP field of candidate$, hombre.

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  19. charles r. phillips says:

    I hate them all. Kasick is a whore for business. It may make him sound reasonable, but he’s anti-people and pro-corporate.

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  20. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    charles r. phillips, Kasick’s tenure with Heartland with John Kasich on Fox Not the News and Lehman Brothers’ investment (bankrupt) banking division says everything about his skill set. His record in Ohio is just the cherry on top of his political pudding. He’s of the same ‘compassionate’ conservative as Dubya and the rest of the ‘Cons.

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  21. daChipster says:

    van59: I’ll be happy to clarify, but it’s difficult to quantify. There are a lot of vectors in play that overall define the arc of the Democratic primary: polls, soft versus hard support, the field, gender, name recognition, policies, appeal, organization, money, 2008 etc etc. and recent events have only solidified things: the first debate, the 11 hour hearing, the Biden decision. All of these and more combine to define a complex picture which shows Hillary as much more in the lead and with much more solid support than any candidate who was not an incumbent POTUS or VPOTUS in years.

    But none of that was in play, much, when I originally predicted she would win both the nomination and the Presidency. That came from my not insubstantial gut, developed over 25 years of the day old bakery and fresh coffee of retail politics. And my gut can sum it up in one word: Duh!

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  22. When watching the “debate” I noticed that Snarly moves her head a lot when she speaks, but the helmet on her head doesn’t move. It was so fascinating, thankfully I didn’t hear a word she spoke. Only after the laxative works, she really should visit TWMDBS!

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  23. Thanks, daChipster. But your comment about Hillary in the lead ala potus, vpotus, is this not similar to her position against Obama wherein she was essentially co-prez with Bill and had a rather strong machine up against an interestingly encumbered unknown Obama? Wasn’t she initially thought to be the presumptive nominee? In Sanders case, has he not had to overcome the socialist label and the lack of respect by most of the media? Can he stir up enough of the potential Bernies to win the primary? In your analysis, are you comparing the power of the existing power of the DC loop vs the semi-gadfly outsider as being predominate, period? Is Bernie trying to employ in the primary the Dean 50-state strategy that worked so well for Obama? Do you see any possible game changers in the remaining dem debates?

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  24. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    daChipster, in all fairness to your gut, maybe some probiotics or a better diet? Drinking in the current political environment would prove fatal and antacids only go so far with all the wingnuttery to digest.

    Secretary/Senator and former First Lady Clinton is a formidable candidate. She has had the opportunity to battle test her campaign skills in 2008 and to learn from her mistakes. She too might benefit from a better diet. Because if she wins the Democratic nomination, she’ll be chowing down on a very unsavory Republicon opponent, whoever their nominee might be.

    Meanwhile, I don’t count out Senator Sanders with the current mood of the electorate being what it is. People want change. President Obama has come under hell fire from critics on his own side for not fixing the Dubya mess fast enough. While we might be a “centrist” nation, the Republicons took us so far right into the ditch, a hard steer left is needed to approach anything near middle ground.

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  25. PKM’s commentary has validity. IM<HO the effect of the Teas has been to jerk the political discussion so far right that people like Eddie Munster look "centrist" by comparison to the Teas like Freedum Caucus. They are not.

    "The Tea Party is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."

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  26. Good article in Politco today on Rubio. I don’t think he will ever make the cut if Dems let loose on him. His recent financial troubles are very, very serious, and many Floridians have pulled back support for him. There’s a reason the moderator brought up his finances, Romney discounted him as a mate because of it, and he’s still have difficulties. Just wonder if his brother-in-law, who spent 12 years in jail for cocaine charges, is in trouble again and needed help, or if Rubio’s income can’t keep up with his spending on $80,000 speed boat and three homes. I think there’s fire here, just waiting to break out.

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  27. shortpeople says:

    I predict Christie and the Huckster will stay in until the free sandwiches and donuts run out.

    If Snarly were auditioning for a laxative commercial, she would look like she wanted relief, not like she was enjoying the sensation of being filled with compacted fecal matter.

    Her expression reminds me of a guy I worked with on occasion. He lookee like he was sitting on a fork while sucking on a lemon.

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  28. Prup (aka Jim Benton) says:

    I could argue with some details. I think you let Carson — who is actually crazier than either Trump or Huckabee — off far too easily, I think Rubio is rising — but to the top of the cannibal cauldron, which makes him the next target to get invited to (be) dinner. I think both Christie and Huckabee will last longer than you think. But I have three main predictions:
    1: that the Convention will be the first multi-ballot convention since 1952, and may wind up nominating someone not on the above list (but not Romney);
    2: That there will be at least one, possibly two or more, third parties that will win in some red states, or at least finish ahead of the Republican nominee;
    3: That Hillary’s Inaugural Ball will set new records for attendance and style.

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  29. Rubio winning the GOP nomination is kinda like finishing in last place in an Ugly Baby contest.

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  30. From what I’ve heard, though Bernie is getting lots of attention and grass-roots support, Hillary is methodically nailing down delegates in state after state. But the primaries will show how effective Bernie is being. Win or lose, I think that he’s the best thing to happen to the Party in years.

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  31. Agree with Larry from Colorado – “nailed it”.
    Spot on and funny too. Thanks Primo!

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