The Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club Fell Down On The Job

July 29, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized


“Some stories are even funnier when they happen in Aladamnbama,” Juanita grins.

“It seems that a member the local ministerial alliance in Cullman, Alabama, buys his underwear at WalMart, which is not particularly surprising.  I imagine he buys his white dress socks there, too,”

“Well, Heavens to Betsy, it seems that WalMart has taken to slipping pornography on their underwear packaging.”

A local pastor’s complaint about a brand of underwear being sold with “pornographic” pictures on the packaging at the Cullman Walmart reportedly led to a recall of the product.

Frank Boren, pastor of New Hope Christian Center Church of God in the Springhill community, said he noticed the questionable underwear package while shopping at the store in May.

“I was in there shopping for some underwear one day, and looked at the men’s pictures on the packaging,” he said. “On a few of the packages they were very pornographic in the way they were dressed, in skimpy underwear, so I went to the manager and asked her if she thought it was inappropriate to be displayed.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but the only reason I even go to WalMart is to look at the men in underwear on the mens underwear packaging,” Juanita admits.  “There’s just too few chances to see men in underwear nowadays.”

Old School Porn

“I mean, bless his heart, what did he expect to see on the underwear packaging?  Pictures of Mrs. Paul’s Fishsticks?  I mean, I’d be a tad upset if I bought a package with pictures of lawnmowers on the front and got home to open it and found men’s underwear and no damn lawnmower.”

Verdelia jumps in to comment, “Please, somebody keep this guy away from the women’s bra department.”

“Honey,” Juanita answers, “and I want to be delicate here, but I don’t think the Reverend Boren in very interested in ta-tas.”

“And I have another question,” Juanita wants to know, “where in fool tarnation is our local Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club when we really need them?  Why are they letting pornography invade the privacy of mens underwear?  Who has WalMart duty for the Belles this week?”

“I want to thank Robert for letting me know about this,” Juanita nods.  “I’m heading right over to WalMart to buy some underwear porn for the ladies in the salon to enjoy.”

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