That’s Her Story and She’s Sticking To It

April 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

On Friday, around 9 p.m., police say Michael Wanko, 43, and Michele Wanko, 42, were “casually drinking” vodka and lemonade together inside their home on West Roland Road in Parkside, Penn. Around 3:30 a.m., police say the couple went into their basement so that Michael could show his wife how to use a semiautomatic pistol. The couple went into a work room where several weapons were kept inside a safe.

Okay, call me crazy but nobody “casually” drinks vodka and lemonade.  Ever.  Especially at 3:30 a.m.  If you’re 40-something and drinking vodka at 3:30 am then you’re either in the Kremlin expecting to be ousted from power, you’ve just robbed a convenience store, or you’re plotting to kill something.

The story goes that this guy had a safe of guns and was going to show his wife how to use them at 3:30 am, drunk, in the basement.  Just was he was teaching her how to take the magazine out and pull back the slide, which would be Fun With Guns activity #1, and she filled him with more lead than a sinker factory.

[She] picked up another gun and pulled the slide back, just as her husband had instructed her.

“When she let go of the slide, the weapon went off,” said Chief Egan.

There are life lessons to be learned here:  When you’re trying to get your story in an afternoon made for tv movie on the Oprah channel, make sure to forget to tell the police that the first Fun With Guns lesson is to never point them at anybody.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “That’s Her Story and She’s Sticking To It”


  1. Vodka and Lemonade?
    Words fail me.

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  2. So…6 and 1/2 hours of casual drinking ending with a gun handling lesson? Wow.

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  3. I’m glad the NRA with their insistence that everyone arm themselves, has helped to provide an excellent excuse to murder people: it was an accident; I was just learning how to shoot! Way better than claiming it was violent video games that made them do it.

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  4. UmptyDump says:

    So at the cost of one person”s life, it’s probably gotten guns out of the hands of a second person for the rest of her life. A rather costly route towards achieving gun control.

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  5. Your name is Wanko, living three miles off the end of runway 27 PHI. halfway between Philly and Wilmington, De. and a mile north of Chester. (not exactly the Main Line) while drinking vodka at three-thirty in the morning and your wife puts a bullet thru your scull. MERCY, True mercy.

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  6. daChipster says:

    Oh Mickey you’re so fine
    You’re so fine you blow my mind

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  7. TexasEllen says:

    It was the lemonade. (NRA response)

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  8. OK Honey, the first thing I’m going to teach you is how to pull the slide back on the pistol. Once you get the hang of that, we’ll move on to lesson number two, which is never, NEVER aim the pistol at anyone, unless you intend to shoot them. OK, pull back on the slide…

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  9. To take off from where Cole started from West Roland Road in the lovely burg of Parkside is only three blocks long! To make matters worse the Parkside Fire Department is located at 107 West Roland Road. See here: http://goo.gl/maps/lPrgd. The street view shows an ambulance parked in front of the fire station. I don’t know whether or not to congratulate Ms. Wanko on her shootin’ abilities or worry about the slow response of the Parkside Fire Department?

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  10. At the rate these morons are killing each other or themselves … It shouldn’t be too much longer before the NRA won’t have any current nor potential members who are really too stupid to even own a gun!

    With the onset of the Extended Background Check legislation, there has definitely been an increase in shootings … It would seem they are removing the dregs so the responsible gun owners can rise to the top.

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  11. John Peter Henson says:

    Guess he forgot the first lesson…..keep your finger off the trigger…..

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  12. I’m reminded of this old saying:

    “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.”

    I wonder if he’ll get a mention in the Darwin Awards?

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  13. There are two little children who have lost both parents: one is dead and the other will be spending time in jail. How many more broken lives and hearts will it take?

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  14. Just another good example of why my brother in law Moose quite hunting with rifles and target shooting with his pistols. He swore everybody out int he woods (except him) and at the target range was drunk! Thought he was really stretching it at the time, but history has proved the boy right!

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  15. Aggieland liz says:

    Hey Marcia, maybe that will be karma, NRA style. Or at least the law of unintended consequences?

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  16. @Aggieland … ya think? LOL And, you know that ole karma, she’s a real bitch!!

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  17. RepubAnon says:

    All-night drinking parties and firearms go together like gasoline and matches.

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  18. It sounds as though she did not learn the lesson, but it appears that he did.

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  19. cairocat says:

    @maggie
    If pictures from my Ex’s hunting trips are any evidence your BIL is right. One year X bagged an enormous buck with a huge rack of antlers; I think it was the record in that county that year. In the obligatory Mighty Hunter photos X’s eyes are glassier than those of the dead deer.
    He shot the deer within eyesight of a shopping mall.

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  20. YES I know I’m behind in my reading, but this was too good. Juanita said it all in January, 2013 “Here Cindy Lou, hold my beer and watch this!” Of course in Penna they drink vodka and lemonade instead of beer.

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