Can’t Call the White House Anymore? No problem.

January 27, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

One of the first things that TwitterFinger did last Friday was to order the shutdown of the White House comment line where you could call to express an opinion about issues that were important to you.  The number, 202-456-1111, now has a recording that says it’s “currently closed” and to leave an opinion via Facebook or the White House website.  Contrary to his assertions of turning the government back to the people, he’s actually trying to take it away from the people, and shutting down the phone line is just one step in that process.

But worry not.  There is a solution! As we all know, Cheeto Jesus has refused to disentangle himself from his businesses which puts him in direct conflict with law and the Constitution.  However, there is an upside to him owning this vast network of businesses.  These businesses, since they are directly connected to him, are actually individual White Houses.  When CJ’s business partners want to contact him, they don’t call the White House, they call the business in which they have interest.  So, we can do the same thing!

White House Inc. built by the same folks who ran Bernie Sanders digital campaign, is the solution for you to reach the, uh…erp, president through his businesses.  All you do is put in your name, phone number and email address and you will receive an automated call that will then randomly connected to one of his businesses.  You may get a startled reservations clerk, but you can give your opinion about whatever issue that’s important to you.  It’s the same thing as calling the comment line and speaking to a volunteer, since whoever is answering these calls is directly connected to their employer.  Give it a try!


He’s Not Just a Horrible Human Being – He’s Mentally Unstable

January 26, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

In his first major network interview since the inauguration, TwitterFinger’s personality was on full view of the American people, and it wasn’t pretty.  It wasn’t just laughable; it was terrifying. It was unbelievable.  It was embarrassing.  The Washington Post’s summary of the interview is even more chilling.  To read those words is almost more jarring than hearing them since we’ve all gotten used to his 5th grade playground bully schtick.  In print, his words are horrifying.  My God, this guy’s not just a flaming asshole (sorry, Momma), he’s actually mentally unstable.  He is so pathologically narcissistic that everything, I mean everything is about him.  His speeches are the best ever, his crowds are the best ever, his standing ovations are larger, longer, and better than anyone’s.  To wit:

“See what Fox said. They said it was one of the great speeches. [At the CIA] They showed the people applauding and screaming. … I got a standing ovation. In fact, they said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl, and they said it was equal. I got a standing ovation. It lasted for a long period of time. You probably ran it live. I know when I do good speeches. I know when I do bad speeches. That speech was a total home run. They loved it. … People loved it. They loved it. They gave me a standing ovation for a long period of time. They never even sat down, most of them, during the speech. There was love in the room. You and other networks covered it very inaccurately. … That speech was a good speech. And you and a couple of other networks tried to downplay that speech. And it was very, very unfortunate that you did.”

Holy Jesus.  I used to think that he was just a cynical reality television star using his fame to play his supporters for chumps.  I have changed my opinion – he’s a nut.  He’s truly unstable and dangerous.  He obsesses so much about his fame and popularity that he actually makes decisions based on how much attention he can get.  If he gets offended, he flies into a rage.  If he perceives even a tiny slight he wildly overreacts and lashes out for days.  And this guy has the nuclear codes (and he’s putting Rootin’ Tootin’ Rick Perry in charge of the nuclear arsenal.)

I’ve gone from head shaking disbelief that the voters have inflicted this clown on us to truly fearing for our country.  The pit in my stomach isn’t healthy, but I feel completely helpless to do anything about this impending national tragedy.  I’m not even sure that even when impeached he’ll actually leave the White House; he’ll likely have to be physically removed.  This is not just a big Celebrity Apprentice episode, this is a modern day Madness of King George.

And Then There is This – Senior White House Officials Using Private Email Server

January 25, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Sumbitches, Trump

Newsweek has  come across the fact that, just like the Bush White House, senior staff for Cheeto Jesus IS USING A PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER LOCATED AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE.  This includes Kellyanne Conway, Jared Kushner, Sean Spicer and Steve Bannon, among others.  That’s right, folks, the very same people who were going nuts and wanting to “lock her up” during the campaign, are doing exactly the same goddam thing, except that, just like GWB, it’s being run at the RNC instead of somebody’s basement.  You’ll recall that when the Bush server was discovered during the Valerie Plame investigation, it suddenly disappeared, along with 22 million emails.  What are we going to hear from Jason Chaffetz?  Crickets, I would assume.


UPDATE: Bannon Registered to Vote in Two States

January 25, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election, Trump

UPDATED: Not only is Steve Bannon and Tiffany Cheeto registered to vote in two states, it’s now come to light that Steve Mnuchin, nominated to be TREASURY SECRETARY, is also registered to vote in New York and California.  Is it possible to be so goddam rich (sorry, Momma) that you can’t remember where you live?  This has entertainment written all over it.

Steve Bannon, that charming white supremacist from Breitbart who is now co-infesting the White House, is registered to vote in Florida and in New York.  He voted absentee in New York in November, no mention of if he also voted in Florida.  Also, in an ironic twist, Tiffany Cheeto, one of the daughters, is also registered in 2 states, Pennsylvania and New York.  Ol’ TwitterFinger has been ranting on his favorite medium for 4 days now about voter fraud.  It would be a shame if his Lead Orc and his daughter get caught up in the fraud investigation.

Glass houses, anyone?

TwitterFinger and Other Thoughts

January 25, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Author’s Note: Someone last week pinned a new name on Cheeto Jesus – TwitterFinger.  I like it, so will begin using it in addition to my favorite moniker, CJ.

Random Thoughts for today:

Favorite slogan from his aborted run in 2012:

TwitterFinger has been busy.  Besides signing a virtual plethora of Executive Orders (that Republicans hated until January 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm), our senior overcomber has been obsessing over size.  Size really matters, probably because TwitterFinger is a euphemism for TinyFinger.  Anyway, I digress.  Last night, about 9:30, his favorite subject, television ratings, was top of mind:

He congratulated Fox News for apparently having highest ratings during the inauguration. He also couldn’t resist another shot at CNN.  That’s right, folks, the President of the United States is still obsessed with not only ratings, but the inauguration.  Speaking of ratings, here’s one from a couple of nights ago about the same subject:

Here’s another attempt to jab the media in the eye, a photograph of the ceremony which will be hung in the WH briefing room (which he calls press hall).

And lastly, this gem TwitterFinger issued after his awkward CIA appearance bragging about standing ovations and packed house.

Apparently, he forgot to mention (or maybe 140 characters is not enough) that the standing ovations came from paid shills who he brought to cheerlead.





Comey Rewarded for Using FBI for Political Purposes

January 24, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

This morning, Cheeto Jesus announced that Director of the FBI, James Comey, would keep his head as a reward for using the FBI to help keep Hillary out of the Whitehouse.  Comey, appointed by President Obama in 2013, is serving a 10 year term as director. I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked.  The takeover of the nation’s leading law enforcement agency by Cheetoists is complete.