If You Don’t Like the Answer, Shoot the Messenger

January 05, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

As anyone with common sense would know, incoming, uh…urp, president Cheeto Jesus is going to suck (sorry momma) at governing.  To reward his benefactor, Vladimir Putin, CJ has picked his first major twitter battle with the intelligence community, refusing to believe the mountain of evidence that the Russians did indeed hack into DNC and other computers in an effort to sway our national elections. Now that the CIA and other agencies have refused to change their assessment, CJ is now threatening to undo the Director of National Security that was put in place after 9/11 to coordinate the nation’s multiple intelligence agencies.

Apparently CJ has confused his role as Chief Tyrant at Celebrity Apprentice with his role as incoming, uh…urp, president.

UPDATED, AND IT’S NOT GOOD: Would Somebody, ANYBODY, Take His iPhone Away? Please!

December 23, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

UPDATE: Mika Brzezinski reported this morning that Cheeto Jesus “clarified” his nuclear tweet in an off-air conversation with him.  And it’s not good:

“Let it be an arms race. We will outmatch them at every pass. And outlast them all.”

Just what we need – a nuclear arms race. This guy is not only an idiot.  He’s a dangerous idiot who can’t keep his Twitter or his mouth shut. Thanks, America, for plunging us back into the Fifties.  What’s next?  Teaching our kids to duck and cover like we did during the Cold War?

It just gets worse.  Cheeto Jesus’ handlers are not handling him, and it appears not even trying.  Yesterday, he changed 40 years of nuclear policy, ordered a new fighter jet, and taunted celebrities who he claims are wanting tickets to the, uh, err…urp, inauguration, all 140 characters at a time. He is now complaining that his son, Cheeto Jesus III, can’t sell access to raise money for his “charities” after getting caught planning just that a couple of days ago.  CJ doesn’t even make a show of reducing his conflicts of interest, because he’s not.
Stop.  Please just stop.

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Gloater In Chief

December 20, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Yesterday, the Russian ambassador was gunned down by an off-duty police officer in Ankara, Turkey.  The whole thing is on camera.  In Berlin, a terrorist rammed a semi-trailer truck packed with steel into a Christmas market killing 9 and injuring over 50 people.  Cheeto Jesus’s response?

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CJ just can’t help himself.  He’s still gloating over winning the electoral college, is perpetually slapping himself on the back, and gloating through taunts thrown at Bill Clinton.  Isn’t there some point where you stop campaigning and actually try to start governing?  Apparently not.  SNL’s opening on Saturday night was so close to reality that it made one squirm in their chair while watching.  Here it is for your own squirming:

 

UPDATE: If Only He Could be unPresidented

December 17, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: Dammit!, Trump

UPDATED FOR SPELLING CORRECTION: Cheeto Jesus has been Tweet Storming this morning, starting early.  Here’s one of his latest missives that I screen shot:

screen-shot-2016-12-17-at-7-55-29-amIt’s unprecedented, genius.  If only he could be un-presidented.

Unbelievably, it’s still up on Twitter if you want to have a look before his minder wakes up and deletes it (no, I’m not going to link it for you).

UPDATE: CJ’s minder got up late this morning and has corrected the spelling.  Dammit.

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Twitter Joins Google and Facebook in Leading from the Rear

November 16, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election

Today, Twitter announced it was suspending alt-right twitter accounts.  Alt-right, you say?  You know, those guys who hate everything: women, African-Americans…hmm…It’s actually easier to say what they support, twitterwhich is white supremacists.  White supremacists with guns.  Since Steve Bannon of Breitbart joined the Cheeto campaign and is now White House chief advisor to… I just can’t say it – to Him, the alt-right has spilled out into the public arena spreading their racist, misogynist, and hate filled rhetoric all over social media.  Yesterday, a week after the elections, Google and Facebook decided it was time to close the barn door, now that the entire herd of horses got out last Tuesday.  Twitter followed suit today, joining the other social media company at the back of the pack, cancelling hundreds of alt-right accounts spewing the same hateful rhetoric.

Thanks, Twitter, for helping us out and being so timely.  (That was sarcasm.)