Y’all Even the Cover Band Quit

January 16, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I am kinda tickled to be the one to let you know that even the Bruce Springsteen cover band has quit the Trump inauguration.

The B-Street band pulled out.

Wanna know why?

“We felt that we had to make it known that we didn’t want to seem disrespectful, in any way, shape or form, to Bruce and his music and his band,” Forte says. “I don’t want to upset them. We owe everything to him and our gratitude and respect to the band is imperative above all else. It became clear to us that this wasn’t working and we just had to do what we thought was the right thing to do and that was to pull out.”

Okay, so maybe Clint Eastwood and Gary Busey can quickly form a band.  Otherwise, there’s not going to be much dancing at the balls.

 

“Insurance for Everybody” Yeah. Just Like the Wall

January 16, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

As expected, the tsunami of lies pouring out of Cheeto Tower have reached Fukushima proportions.  After biting his lip over Alec Baldwin’s masterful SNL portrayal of him Saturday night, CJ exploded yesterday, ranting about Baldwin, insulting the director of the CIA, and, of course, Democrats.

But the most interesting lie, though, was the one he told during a telephone interview with the Washington Post on Saturday.  In that interview Trump declared that he’s close to a new healthcare plan that includes “insurance for everybody” and that the federal government was going to negotiate drug prices with Big Pharma.  What?

So, after railing for years about the evils of Obamacare, CJ is going to replace it with Hillarycare, rebranded as Cheetocare?  The chances of getting this through Congress?  Infinitesimal to zero.  But then he can blame them, right?  More chaos on Bullshit Mountain (sorry, Momma).

My head is spinning.

Mike Pence: Clueless in DeeCee

January 15, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s this right here breaking news today.

 

 

And far more likely, there’s no contact between the Trump campaign and Mike Pence.

I Finally Found a Way I Can Listen to the New, uh…urp, President

January 14, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Life Accordion to Cheeto Jesus

Orange Foolius

January 14, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It is a sad day indeed when our alleged president-elect shows far more respect to Putin than he does to Congressman John Lewis, the conscious of the congress.

Yesterday, John Lewis said that he did not consider Donald Trump to be a legitimate president.  You know, the same thing Donald Trump said about Barack Obama for eight years.

In the wee hours of this morning, Trump responded …

 

 

He’s gonna burn in hell, y’all.  A gold star mom and dad, Meryl Streep, and now John Lewis on the weekend of Martin Luther King Day….

 

 

Look, even if you think he’s a legitimate president, you have to admit that’s he’s a sumbitch.

Thanks to Bubba for the heads up, by slamming his coffee mug on the table so hard this morning that there’s coffee splatter on the ceiling.

Yachting Randy is Back!

January 13, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You guys remember Yachting Randy Neugebauer – the west Texas congressman we love around here.  Randy bought a yacht with his campaign funds which is kinda strange since he lives in the desert, was the guy who chewed out the national park service ranger on tv for doing her job during the government shutdown that he voted for, yelled “baby killer” at a Democratic congressman during a debate, and called US border detention centers the lap of lovely, and a whole mess of other stuff including how the hell did his son, Toby, become a billionaire.

 

Children at a border detention center.

 

Randy retired from congress but he’s baaaaack.

Donald Trump is considering Randy to head up the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Elizabeth Warren’s old job.  Did you hear me? The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Why aren’t you hollering and stomping?

Hell, people, you could not trust that guy with a dime.  He will steal the gold out of your teeth.  Plus, he’s crazier than an internationally syndicated Donald Trump tweet.  He’s got loco camped out in his eyeballs.

Serving as a watchdog over the financial marketplace, the agency has returned nearly $12 billion to 27 million consumers who have fallen victim to predator scams, stemming from more than a million consumer complaints.

Republicans in Congress have regularly complained about the agency because they claim it unfairly targets small businesses without effective oversight, and some have sought to eliminate it.

Well, putting Randy is charge will certainly eliminate it.

Excuse me while I go put some ice on my forehead after I banged it on the table.