David Sanguesa, a home builder in Miami had a bad day and yelled at an African American barista at Starbucks when she didn’t serve him fast enough apparently because he’s white and voted for Cheeto Jesus. After his name calling tirade, he stormed out of the coffee shop yelling, “Cheeto Jesus! Cheeto Jesus!” We’re just curious: how did he know that they knew he voted for Cheeto Jesus? Because he is white and acted like a dick? (Sorry, Momma) According to the Miami Herald, it wasn’t his only bad day since he had 2 DUIs in 2008, charged with domestic violence in 2014, and oh, yeah – sent many emails to the Miami Herald ranting against Cubans, women, immigrants, gays, lesbians, President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Now, THAT is funny.
Yesterday, Cheeto Jesus appointed his two top strategists for the coming January 20th Apocalypse. What was striking about these appointments was not only their similarity – they’re both well known pigs; but also their differences – outside pig versus inside pig. The outside pig is Steve Bannon, CEO of that den of serial liars called Breitbart “News”; the inside pig is RNC chairman and serial loudmouth, Reince Priebus. Cheeto Jesus couldn’t have chosen a worse pair to run the White House except for maybe someone like Hannibal Lector or Freddy Krueger. The choice of these two characters is shocking, but not surprising.