OK, Stay With Me Here…

February 13, 2018 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Michael Cohen, Trump’s longtime personal attorney, has now admitted that he indeed paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000.  He’s just not saying for what, except that he paid it out of his own pocket and was not reimbursed.  Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, had previously claimed to have had an affair with Trump, then denied it, and now refuses to answer any direct questions about it.  Cohen has also denied the affair and now won’t answer questions about it.  So…

  1. We can assume the obvious which is right in front of us where Trump had an affair with a porn star; when she threatened to go public during the campaign, Trump had his lawyer do the dirty work to shut her up.  Or…
  2. Cohen just decided to give the porn star $130,000 just because she has a nice pair….uh, never mind; he was just being nice to her.
  3. They’re all lying and you just have to make your own assumptions.

One has to ask – Why in the world would a New York lawyer with a celebrity client who’s famous for sexual escapades just give $130,000 to a porn star, who just happened to claim she had an affair with said celebrity client?  Oh, and why would he pay that out of his own pocket without reimbursement?  The answer is obvious, and Cohen’s explanation of the whole sordid episode doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.  He claims the “transaction” was legal and had nothing to do with Trump’s campaign.  I wish him luck with that argument in court over the complaint filed with the FEC that the $130,000 was not an in-kind donation to the Trump campaign.  I can’t wait to hear the reason he paid a porn start that kind of cash if it wasn’t for the obvious reason.

Next, Cohen must think his audience is stupid.  He paid for the bribe legal transaction out of his own pocket? Right.  Money is fungible.  Here’s the definition of fungible:

    1. (of goods contracted for without an individual specimen being specified) able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable.
      “money is fungible—money that is raised for one purpose can easily be used for another”

Money is interchangeable, and difficult to trace.  Over the last 10 years, Cohen has likely been paid millions of dollars in graft legal fees.  $130,000 is pocket change in Cohen’s and Trump’s world.  Which leads to one last question – why didn’t little Stormy settle for such a piddly amount since she held serious sway over the election?  Maybe she realized that Trump voters simply don’t care that their candidate is a complete waste of oxygen and would vote for him anyway, so she settled for what Trump offered.

The most obvious is generally the correct answer.  Occam’s Razor strikes again.

He Even got His Doctor to Lie

January 17, 2018 By: El Jefe Category: Alternative Facts, Trump

Following up on JJ’s earlier post:  Trump even has to brag about his height.  During the campaign, he boasted that he’s 6′ 3″.  During the briefing on his health today, the doctor reported that he’s 6′ 3″.  Oh, and that he weighs 239 lbs.  At those stats, Trump’s body mass index (BMI) is 29.9 which classifies him as “overweight”.  The BMI that would classify him as obese?  30.  Trump’s driver’s license says that he’s 6′ 2″.  I actually met him about 10 years ago during a pro-am golf tournament, and I can assure you he’s not 6′ 3″ and would be on his toes to be 6′ 2″.

It gets better.  It gets a lot better.  Jeb Bush actually IS 6′ 3″.  Here’s a picture of Jeb and Trump side by side at one of the debates:

Trump is 6′ to 6′ 1″ tops, but for argument’s sake, let’s grant him 6′ 2″.  Why does it matter?  At 6′ 2″, his BMI  is 30.68 which the NIH classifies as obese.  Tonight, though, Colbert took another perspective.  At the 6′ 3″ height, 239 is ONE POUND shy of obese.  He speculated that Trump said, “Hey Doc, this roll of 100s weighs about one pound, and it’s yours.”

Today during the briefing, the doctor couldn’t even pass the straight face test on questions of Trump’s diet, claiming that “the President just has good genes.”  Colbert quipped, “Yeah, good genes.  He just can’t get into them.”

Trump actually got a US Navy doctor from Walter Reed Medical Center to lie about the president’s physical and mental condition.

Lying Bigly in 2017

December 26, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

The only consistency in the most erratic presidency in US history is falsehood.  Trump’s entire career and image are build on a mountain of lies, and lying is so deeply imbedded in his DNA that he will tell a lie even if telling the truth is easier and better for him.  NBC News culled through the encyclopedia of his lies and picked out their top 9.  Here they are:

  1. More people watched his inaugural than ever before.
  2. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote because of voter fraud.
  3. Michael Flynn did nothing wrong.
  4. “Look what happened last night in Sweden”.
  5. Obama bugged Cheeto Tower.
  6. Russian meddling in the election was “a made up story”.
  7. Counter protestors in Charlottesville lacked a permit.
  8. America pays the most in taxes.
  9. Tax “reform” will cost me a fortune.

This is a pretty deplorable list, for sure.  What’s your favorite lie told by Trump this year?

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Every Once in a While, the Truth Slips Out

December 24, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

After hastily signing the Make America Poor Again bill on Friday, His Orangeness fled to Cheeto Lago to defile the Christmas holiday on home turf among his sycophants.  In his wake, he left fellow Republicans who were also getting the hell out of Dodge to get away from inquisitive reporters.  All during this debacle, there was one BIG LIE that rose above all other lies, and that was that this bill was focused on tax cuts for the middle class.  Anyone actually paying attention knew that assertion was completely false, but Trumpists and billionaires alike supported it for obvious reasons.

Trump, as we all are painfully aware, is in constant need of praise and admiration, and their is no better place for him than Cheeto Lago, where he surrounds himself with his own rapacious crowd mingling within the cheesy gold-plated walls and dining on “beautiful chocolate cake”.  In these surroundings, when he is immersed in praise and adoration, Trump often lets the truth slip out; Friday was not different.  When mingling among guests Friday night, he told them, “You just got a lot richer.”

And there it is.  This bill was not about kick starting the economy, because it doesn’t.  It’s not about companies creating new jobs with the billions of dollars in tax relief, because they won’t.  The deficit hawks cowered under the Trump McConnell cabal, blowing a trillion dollar plus hole in spending.  This bill was about one thing, and one thing only; fulfilling promises to donors.  It repeals the healthcare mandate; makes the corporate tax cut permanent; it puts over a trillion dollars in the pockets of the rich; it forces mandatory cuts in medicare and other social spending; it even opens the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve to oil and gas development.  What the hell do any of those things have to do with improving the lives of Americans?  Answer: Nothing.

It was never about the middle class, and those people in that class who voted for him were (and are) chumps who inflicted this regime on the US and indeed the world.

Thanks for nothing.

A Spectacle Hard to Watch

August 22, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Cheeto Jesus didn’t disappoint tonight in his appearance for devotees in Phoenix.  He shoveled manure in copious quantities.  A few of his gems:

  1. He reread his Saturday Charlottesville statement, but left out the “many sides” line.
  2. Announced that indeed his first pardon was going to former Joe Arpaio, convicted criminal and country’s third most notorious racist.  (Number one is Cheeto Jesus, of course, followed by David Duke.  Luckily, Duke is not currently convicted of any race crimes, so no pardon currently needed.  However, since Charles Manson is not eligible for parole until 2027, Trump could well go for him next.)
  3. Lies again about Washington’s statues.
  4. He’s going to cancel NAFTA.
  5. The media is the real enemy that caused the violence in Charlottesville. That’s right, it wasn’t the racists wearing body armor and carrying clubs; it was those panty waist reporters.
  6. He was hoping to take candy away from a kid on stage, but apparently they couldn’t find a kid willing to go up there.

It was Trump’s normal appalling performance that we have come to expect and continues to make us the laughingstock of the world.

Well, they would be laughing if he didn’t have the nuclear codes.  I just wish someone would tell this stupid sumbitch that the election is over, and he doesn’t need to do this (but for his insatiable ego).


Miss Me Yet?

May 12, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Comey Firing, Sumbitches, Trump

This morning, as I listen to all the MoJo talking heads recounting the stream of lies spewing out of the White House I am actually physically revulsed. Since the night of November 8th, my emotions have ranged from anger to despair.  My anger was directed at virtually everyone – those who supported Hillary’s nomination when her flaws were obvious to those not devoted to her (I know, I know), those who didn’t bother to vote, those who voted for third parties, and especially those who were so stupid as to vote for the worst presidential candidate in US history.  Those people were overcome with Trump’s celebrity, his crass word salad, his tacky gold-plated lifestyle, his obvious mental instability, and his absolutely undeniable immoral existence.  After he took office, despair overwhelmed me as my worst fears were realized.  Not only was Trump as bad as I feared, he surrounded himself with the worst WH staff imaginable.  It seemed his priority was to pick the absolute worst nominee you could imagine for each role, from an education secretary who opposes education, a housing secretary who knows nothing of housing, to a strategist who is a known bigot.

Trump also tightened his grip on power with the judiciary in his pocket and a cowed legislature.  I had hoped that the career professionals around him could at least hold him in check, but he’s now fired an acting attorney general, every single ambassador around the world, 46 US attorneys including Preet Bharara, the head of the Census Bureau, and now the head of the FBI who was investigating his corruption and ties to Russia.

Just this week, after firing Comey, Trump mustered his merry band of liars to go in front of the cameras and blatantly spin tales, not bothering to even try to square those tales with actual timelines or even with each other.  The only consistent lie that night was that Cheeto Jesus took “swift and decisive action”, and that was most certainly one of the worst lies after he later admitted to Lester Holt that he had decided long ago to fire Comey.  I sat and watched Holt try to get Trump to answer for his lies, and the result was the most concentrated collection of falsehood that has ever been emitted on national television.

As I watch this rolling disaster, I’m nostalgic for past days where we had a president who was precisely the opposite of  this creature now infesting OUR White House.  Barack Obama was known for his steadiness, his caution (some would say too cautious), his ability to speak to the nation’s heart at times of tragedy.  He occupied this very same house for a scandal-free 8 years, leading the country through some of its toughest times.

So I have to ask: Do you miss him yet?

As for me, I answer, you’re damned right I do, every single day.