I Love Yew, Texas

August 03, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

League City, Texas, is between me and Galveston.  I generally close my eyes and hold my breath as I drive through there.

One of my Democratic friends stopped in League City and this was right next to her.


I think it was real nice of him to fly a confederate flag on the back, you know, just in case you didn’t already know he’s a big damn loser.

This is why you should always make your car passengers carry glitter.  Accidentally letting pink glitter fly all over that whole thing would have been a tragically but very cool thing.  I’ll even pay the $200 littering fine as long as he shows up to court with pictures of the glitter all over himself to prove his case.


I Love Yew, Texas

July 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Compensation Alert!

The two smallest men in Texas …


Captions are welcome.

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.

Sid Miller

July 10, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller pops up every now and then to remind me that Donald Trump ain’t alone in his battle of voter humiliation.

Long time customers are familiar with Miller because I write about him a whole bunch.

He’s so crooked that when he dies, we’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

He’s also loopy.

Sid, who has never been in the military, almost daily prances out his pandering to the military.

Sid is just flat proud as punch that he can read upside down because you have to be “amazing” to do that.  Hell, he even did it easily.


So stop whatever foolishness you’re doing and let Sid know if you can read upside down without standing on your head.

His latest?



Sid, CNN does not know who you are.  However, I’ve got $20 cash American money that says CNN will be around a whole lot longer than Donald Trump.


Texas, I Love Yew

June 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Boerne (pronounced burn-ee) is a small town in central Texas.  It has Baptists, Republicans and more old people than a Metamucil sale at Walgreens.

Kyle Courtney, who owns a well water supply company, paid for this open billboard to ABC News.


Kyle says he grew up watching ABC News.  He ain’t watching any more.

Now, here’s the weird part:  there is no Kyle Courtney registered to vote in Boerne.  There’s one in San Antonio but he’s way younger than a man who claims to have been in the water well business for 30 years.  There’s not even a Courtney with the middle name of Kyle in all of Texas who is old enough to have been in business for 30 years.

I dunno.  Maybe he’s a Russian.

Thanks to Victoria for the heads up.

I Love Yew, Texas. Your Governor, On The Other Hand … Not So Much

May 26, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Governor Greg Abbott made a joke today about shooting reporters.  Yeah, while body-slamming a reporter is still in the news.

A Texas Tribune reporter snapped a photo of Abbott showing off his target sheet on Friday, after which the governor “jokingly” pointed to the bullet holes and threatened the media.

“I’m gonna carry this around in case I see any reporters,” Abbott said, according to reporter Patrick Svitek.


Too soon, Governor.  Ten years from now, still too soon.


I Love Yew, Texas

May 26, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Robert Morrow has announced that he’s running for the Chairmanship of the Republican Party of Texas on a “Impeach Trump” platform.

For those of you unfamiliar with Robert Morrow, he was elected chairman of the Travis County (think: Austin) Republican Party.  The GOP power structure was not pleased.


The current Texas Republican Party Chair up and resigned with no warning.  So, the Republican Executive Committee will electe a new chair in Austin on Saturday, June 3rd.  Morrow is running.

To be honest – even for a Republican, Morrow ain’t all there. Or maybe he’s the sanest person in that Party – it’s just damn hard to tell these days.

Now he’s decided that Trump needs impeaching and he’s the man to lead the charge.

You wanna know why?  Sure you do.

A few of the many qualifications I have for being Chairman of the Texas Republican Party are:

1)       I am a political truth teller.

2)      In the past 20 years I have voted in more Texas Republican primaries than Rick Perry.

3)      I am a Ron Paul supporter.

4)      In 2004, I played a critical grassroots role in getting Republican Rep. Todd Baxter re-elected to the State House. Just ask Todd Baxter. This is the state rep seat that Donna Howard currently holds.

5)      In both 2008 and 2012 I was one of the leaders of Ron Paul for President in Austin, TX.

6)      Unlike George Herbert Walker Bush, I have not murdered anyone, as he did with Barry Seal in 1986.

7)      Unlike cocaine addict and CIA drug smuggler Bill Clinton I do not think that Barry Seal got what he had coming to him. Barry Seal was a friend of Bill Clinton which tells you a lot about Bill “Serial Rapist” Clinton.

8)      Unlike George Herbert Walker Bush, I am not a homosexual pedophile who molests and has sex with young boys. Read the books The Franklin Cover Up and The Franklin Scandal for information on that. Former Texas GOP chair Cathie Adams knows all about the Franklin Cover Up and I have discussed it with her.

9)      My top priority is the impeachment and removal from office of child molester, business criminal, serial adulterer, golf cheat and political criminal Donald Trump. Message to Trump supporters: you sleep with dogs you will get fleas.

10)    I am very proud of my book The Clintons’ War on Womenwhich rips the hide off the Clintons like no other book has done before. This is one of the few books child rapist Donald Trump has read and he kept it on his desk in 2016.

11)     In 2016 I received 145 votes for President of the United States.

12)    I am the Chairman Emeritus of the Travis County Republican Party, gaining it world attention as I ran it from June 13 to August 19, 2016.

13)    I like big titties. I am a proponent of boobyliciousness. In the past several years I have shared on social media the pics of over 500 extremely hot, busty women. What have Rick Figueroa and James Dickey ever done to promote boobyliciousness, bikini contests and wet t-shirt contests? I am for having bikini contests at the Alamo every 4th of July. Case closed.


Robert Morrow

Honey, he had me at “Impeach Trump.”

I love yew, Texas.