These Guys, Y’all, These Guys

July 03, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

As you’ve probably heard by now, a group of people who refuse to accept that they lost the damn Civil War, started a rumor that some folks were going to come to Gettysburg and remove confederate war relics.  You know, like the damn white flag the rebels waved.  I am convinced that they themselves started this rumor so they could prance around showing off their guns and battle flags while they denounce CNN and Nancy Pelosi.

Pictures of the event prove the group is not only anti-United States, but also anti-sleeve.  They have cornered the market on leather vests with wide girth.

One of the rumors was that the good guys were going to come and urinate on confederate graves.  Dude, we don’t even own leather vests or a decent tattoo, so we don’t urinate in public.  Additionally, there are no marked confederate graves at Gettysburg, so we’d look mighty funny pissing in the wind.

So, one of the head guys gives a speech and says …

“The next thing you know, they’re going to take our Constitution and say you know what? That was written by slave-holders, it’s racist, let’s get rid of it and become a communist nation. I don’t want that on my watch.”

Whoa, Mr. Klan, it’s your president who is playing footsie with he commies.  Confusing for you, ain’t it?

They had a speaker by the name of Jenny Lee, who claimed to be Robert E Lee’s third great grand niece.  Honey, Robert E Lee had three brothers so everybody in the South is related to Robert E Lee.  Jenny implored the crowd not to buy into political correctness.  Really?  Like maybe how Robert E Lee got handed his butt on a Yankee platter and retreated at Gettysburg?  Or surrendered to General Grant while waving a white flag?

They make me crazy, y’all.  Not only are they hateful and mean, they know diddle squat about history.

Anyway, the highlight of the day was a man attempting to do an accidental human sacrifice on the battlefield where they got beat once and came back for seconds. Their enemy did not even bother to show up, preferring to sit at home watch them shoot each other.

But the only person actually shot Saturday in Gettysburg with a real bullet was a 23-year-old militia group member named Benjamin Hornberger, of Shippensburg, Pennsylvania. According to U.S. Park police, Hornberger triggered his revolver when the flag pole he was carrying bumped against his gun holster. The bullet went into his leg. Police say officers quickly applied a tourniquet, likely saving his life.

What a waste of a perfectly good tourniquet.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up. 

Nominee for Education Secretary: “Guns Needed in Schools to Protect from Grizzlies”

January 17, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Dammit!, Holy Crap

Yep, Betsy DeVos actually said it. We need guns in schools to protect from grizzlies.

Gun Nuts, Phony News, and Weirdo Conspiracy Theories

December 07, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election, Fun With Guns, Trump

This week the gun culture, the proliferation of phony news, and weird conspiracy theories all collided in a pizza joint in Washington, DC, when a convicted criminal showed up with THREE firearms to “self-investigate” an idiotic story that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of a non-existent basement under the pizza joint. Oh, and one more thing – Cheeto Jesus and his merry band of weirdos constantly repost this manure. It’s a cancer on our society.  Mike Flynn’s son was fired from the transition, but what about his father and Bannon himself?  Breitbart is a sewer of lies, misogyny, racism, and these weird conspiracy theories.