Fun With Guns: That’s His Story and He’s Sticking to It Edition

May 21, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Even in Pennsylvania.

A 78 year old woman was shot in the chest at 3:30 in the damn morning in her damn bathroom.

She was taken to the hospital with “non-life threatening injuries.”  Although I cannot for the life of me imagine what is NOT life threatening when you’re 78 years old.  Hell, getting out of bed is life threatening when you’re 78 years old.

Here’s the kicker.  She was shot by her husband who thought she was an intruder.

I know.  Nuts.

Police believe the husband suffers from a medical condition, which may have been a factor.

Ya think?  Now let’s assume her husband is also at least 78 years old. What the fool tarnation is a 78 year old man with “a medical condition” doing with a damn gun?  You get a medical condition that causes you to shoot people randomly, you gotta give up the gun.

Or, give them both guns, lock them in the house and let them fight it out, like Geriatric Wild Kingdom.

 

Fun With Guns: But Does He Really Want to Live Edition

May 09, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Let’s give a Holy Toledo to Murad Hamedallah of Toledo, Ohio.

A man called the police to report that Hamedallah was heard screaming that he had been shot as he was getting out of his car.

The caller told police he watched Hamedallah walk towards a garbage can on Manhattan before eventually falling to the ground.

When crews arrived, they found Hamedallah with a single gunshot wound that went through his penis and right thigh.

Police found a bullet hole in his driver’s seat; the gun was found behind the garbage can on Manhattan.

The wound was self-inflicted.

Quote of the day:

Hamedallah was taken to St. Vincent Medical Center in Toledo for serious injuries. He’s expected to be okay.

Okay?  Oh, I dunno about that.  He may live, but okay?  No, not okay.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: Goodness Sakes, Walmart, Unload! Edition

April 17, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

An accidental shooting in a Walmart just north of Houston caught my attention last week and I made a note to check up on it because the original story didn’t have much information other than accidental shots were fired inside a Walmart.

So, I Googled it today to see if there’s more information about how the hell that happened.  I put “shooting Walmart” in the Google machine because I wasn’t sure which town it would be identified with – The Woodlands, Conroe, Halfway to Dallas, you know how we describe geographic locations in Texas.

Here’s what I discovered: the most dangerous place on earth is inside a Walmart.

 

There’s 299,000 results.

Do not go to Walmart.  Apparently, they hold target practice there.

So, I finally found what happened in the Texas Walmart —

MONTGOMERY COUNTY, Texas – Deputies are investigating after a man accidentally dropped his loaded gun inside a Woodlands-area Walmart store, firing a gunshot.

There were no injuries.

The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office says the man is reportedly a retired Houston police officer who has a Concealed Handgun License.

Retired cop. Slippery hands. Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.

 

Fun With Guns

April 08, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Explain this to Wayne LaPierre.

At 3:40 pm at the headquarters of the National Rifle Association in Fairfax, Virginia, a 46 year old was teaching a gun safety class right there smack dab in the middle of the headquarters.

He, of course, shot himself.

According to police, the man, an employee, was participating in firearms training at the shooting range located in the museum when he attempted to holster his pistol. As he did so, the weapon accidentally fired, injuring the man’s lower body. The man’s name was not disclosed and no charges are expected to be filed.

They haven’t released his name but I sure hope it’s Helpless Dick.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

 

Fun With Guns (And Ammo): Jewelry Edition

February 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, let’s mosey on up to Canada, where you’d expect gun people to have learned science, but no, it’s the same as here.

An Ontario man is recovering from surgery after he shot himself in the leg while making a necklace out of a bullet.

Durham Regional Police say a 50-year-old Oshawa, Ont., man tried to pull apart a bullet with vise grips around 5 p.m. on Tuesday.

They say the powder inside the bullet ignited, which caused an explosion and propelled the bullet into the man’s thigh.

He had to have surgery to take his necklace out of his thigh.  And his head out of his butt.

Thanks to James for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: Too Drunk to Fish Edition

February 12, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Michigan, y’all.

Last Thursday at around 3:45 am, off-duty police officer Andrew Mulder, was .08 drunk.  Honey, that’s too damn drunk to stand up.  So he did the next best thing.

He shot himself in the knee.  I am pretty certain that there’s a good story behind this because I don’t care how drunk you are shooting yourself in the knee is pretty damn stoopid.

I mean, you wouldn’t be trying to commit suicide and if you were passed out on the bed, shooting yourself in the knee would require Olympic gymnast skills. Maybe he was doing a self-field-sobriety test and things went whacky.

I suspect Officer Mulder will tell us how this happened, but it’s only Sunday so he probably hasn’t sobered up enough yet.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.