Fun With Guns: “Don’t Bring Your Gun To Town, Boys” Edition

September 14, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, let’s head off to Minnesota.

St. Catherine University Security Officer Brent Ahlers was shot in the shoulder earlier this week while on duty.  The quiet little town was horrified.

[Police Sergeant] Ernster said 55 police officers and four K-9s, as well as a State Patrol aircraft, joined in the search for a suspect on Tuesday night. Scanner reports described a man in a navy blue sweatshirt and black jeans. Ahlers was taken to Regions Hospital with noncritical injuries.

Police conducted a building-by-building search and advised people to stay indoors as they searched for the shooter.

The campus was put on lockdown. People in town started calling police to come to their homes because they thought the shooter was in their backyards.

The search continued the next day.  They don’t cotton to shootin’ security guards at St. Catherine’s so they were pulling out all stops.

Yeah, except that Security Office Brent Ahlers finally admitted that he shot himself.

While interviewing Ahlers about 9:15 p.m. Wednesday, he told officers that he was in a wooded area of the campus about 9:30 p.m. Tuesday. He had brought his personal handgun from home and was handling it when it accidentally discharged, hitting him in the shoulder.

He told police he’d lied and said he made up the story because he was afraid of losing his job because he’d brought a gun to work with him.

They probably won’t let him back on campus either.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: Walmart Daily Double

September 05, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thank you, Michigan.

So there’s just one notebook left on the shelf at Walmart and school is fixing to start.

Your 20 year old daughter sees someone reaching for the notebook, so a grabbing match ensues complete with cussin’ and hair pullin’.

So what do you do? You reach in your purse and pull out your gun, of damn course.


The police detective investigating the case spoke to the media.

“It was a senseless act of violence all the way around.” Police are now working with prosecutors to try to determine whether the woman’s actions could be classified as self-defense. She had a valid concealed gun license.

Yeah, well, I can certainly see that – hair pullin’ could be serious bodily injury.  You know, we don’t have that problem in Texas.  We have big hair and if you stick your hand in there, you’re liable to lose it in the AquaNet.  We kinda let nature take care of hair assault.

On the upside, the gun toting momma ended up with the notebook and checked out of the store with it.  There’s that.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I Love Yew, Texas

August 03, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

League City, Texas, is between me and Galveston.  I generally close my eyes and hold my breath as I drive through there.

One of my Democratic friends stopped in League City and this was right next to her.


I think it was real nice of him to fly a confederate flag on the back, you know, just in case you didn’t already know he’s a big damn loser.

This is why you should always make your car passengers carry glitter.  Accidentally letting pink glitter fly all over that whole thing would have been a tragically but very cool thing.  I’ll even pay the $200 littering fine as long as he shows up to court with pictures of the glitter all over himself to prove his case.


Fun With Guns

July 16, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Liberty County is in East Texas, which explains a lot about this story.

Precinct 2 Liberty County Commissioner is the former sheriff of the county, Greg Arthur.   He, of course, is a Republican.  He took his wife and family on a vacation at Garner State Park, which is pretty much on the other side of Texas.

While there, Arthur encountered a gun problem.

“We were at the pavilion and I was wearing my concealed handgun. It was shifting around a little bit so I stepped out into the parking lot to readjust,” Arthur said.

While making adjustments, Arthur says he accidentally hit the trigger, causing the gun to fire downward toward the ground. The bullet grazed Arthur’s leg, entering the skin and creating a gash before it exited and hit the ground. As it hit the ground, fragments of concrete and the bullet reportedly scattered, hitting two other nearby people including a 6-year-old boy.

Insisting that is was “just an accident,” Arthur proves once and for all that guns are not safe, especially his.

The incident is the second time a firearm owned by Arthur has accidentally discharged. Several years ago, a Liberty business owner and a friend of Arthur’s accidentally shot himself with Arthur’s handgun. The business owner sustained non-life threatening injuries.

His guns seem to have a mind of their own.


Yes, I Know

May 29, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Yes, I know all hell is breaking loose in Austin at the State Lege, where a Republican State Rep called ICE to get rid of the demonstrators at the capitol.  One Republican Rep threatened the life of a Democrat State Rep, and the State Troopers have become Storm Troopers.

I want to wait to sort out the bodies before I write about it.  But please feel free to comment here if you find something that looks legitimate.

Trusted source.

UPDATE:  Here is a video.  At 32 seconds you can see one of the Republican Reps (in a tan suit toward the front of the crowd), raise his hand to expose his handgun in a holster. He’s a little short prissy guy and loves his gun so much it’s considered obscene in 32 states and assorted territories.

Rinaldi the Twit

This is also where Republican Rep Matt Rinaldi called ICE on the people protesting SB 4 — he assumed because they were largely Hispanic, they were here illegally.

I have to tell you something about Matt Rinaldi.  He is a foul-mouthed little dip-dump who has to get an old woman to hold his hand to cross the street.  He is so crude that the F word ought to be embroidered on his tie.  He is generally recognized as the garden gnome of the Tea Party.

There are witnesses who heard Rinaldi threaten to shoot Democratic State Representative Pancho Nevarez “in the head.”

Reading several news sources, the best I can figure, it went like this: Rinaldi sashayed over to two Hispanic Democratic Representatives and goaded them by saying he had called ICE on the protesters.  One of the Democrats said, “I’m gonna get you,” and that’s when Rinaldi threaten to shoot him in the head.

Then Rinaldi runs as fast as his little legs will pump and asks for DPS protection.

Then like the little twit that he is, Rinaldi claimed he said that threat (you know, the one he first claimed he didn’t say)  in “verbal self defense.”  No, I am not kidding.  There is now such a thing as “verbal self defense.” That used to be called, “escalating the situation.”  The Texas Penal Code says that verbal crap ain’t provocation for nothin’.

Like a damn little fluffy puppy, Rinaldi growled and growled and then ran back under the couch when someone growled back.  I think this falls under, “You started this fight, butt boy” rule as codified in the Handbook of Getting Your Ass Whooped.

And Dan Patrick wants to call a damn special session because this one didn’t get nasty enough.


I Love Yew, Texas. Your Governor, On The Other Hand … Not So Much

May 26, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas Governor Greg Abbott made a joke today about shooting reporters.  Yeah, while body-slamming a reporter is still in the news.

A Texas Tribune reporter snapped a photo of Abbott showing off his target sheet on Friday, after which the governor “jokingly” pointed to the bullet holes and threatened the media.

“I’m gonna carry this around in case I see any reporters,” Abbott said, according to reporter Patrick Svitek.


Too soon, Governor.  Ten years from now, still too soon.