Resistance is Futile

November 16, 2021 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

There are apparently three kinds of people in this world. There are Star Wars people. There are Star Trek people. There are people that make fun of Star Wars and Star Trek people. In the Next Generation series of Star Trek there was an enemy known as the borg. Not being a huge Star Trek fan, I couldn’t tell you exactly what the borg was or what the point was, but I just remember it spreading like some kind of virus.

They always uttered the same line: “resistance is futile.” I’ve come to imagine a lot of things through that prism these days. We have a local hospital that has taken over an old shopping center and forced those businesses out. It became the hospital borg. In a similar way, Fox News has levied a generational war on behalf of Christmas. Resistance is futile.

Apparently, there is this unspoken and unknown force trying to change everyone into a happy holidays contingent. One could imagine Starbucks being convinced that an unnamed coffee shop were trying to muscle in on their territory or maybe Jack n the Box suddenly threatening McDonald’s. Christmas has about as much of a chance of being overwhelmed in any so-called war.

Instead, you drive through neighborhoods and see Christmas lights go up immediately after Halloween. The local radio station converts over to Christmas music at the same time and blares all Christmas music all the time through the new year. Mariah Carey starts humming her bars once the last firework goes off on the fourth of July.

On the one hand, I’m not sure there is really any harm in it. Is there anything wrong with becoming a member of the borg? On the other hand, I’m also not sure that the season retains its meaning when it begins to encroach on October and completely engulfs Thanksgiving. Resistance is futile.

Fox has nearly perfected the art of playing the victim all the while acting like the quintessential bully. I suppose that’s usually how these things work. Obnoxious people should feel free to shout “Merry Christmas” in the face of those that obviously don’t celebrate it because it is their right. Thus, we somehow ignore one of the meanings of the season by ignoring civility and acting like a jackass.

We have always resisted the temptation of decorating before Thanksgiving. It is the least we can do. However, I have decided that the problem is people like Carey. We need some Thanksgiving songs. Maybe someone can write a little ditty about football, turkey, and stuffing. Anything that could stave off the Christmas borg would be greatly appreciated.

Really? That’s It? That’s the Best You Can Do?

December 26, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Traditionally, presidents pose with their spouses and children for Christmas photos.  Here are a few examples:

bush-xmas

obamaxmas

clinton-xmas

Then there is Cheeto Jesus:

trump-christmas

That’s right.  Because nothing says Merry Christmas like a raised fist.  You know what happened – CJ realized he hadn’t tweeted a holiday greeting yesterday and ordered one of his minions to find a Christmas photo of himself.  Since his handlers hadn’t had a Christmas photo taken, they just grabbed the first one they found.  It looks like this was taken at one of his Gloat Tour rallies and it’s the closest he could get to an actual Christmas photo.

I continue to ponder one word descriptors of this guy, and the only one that comes to mind is vulgar.