He’s Not Just a Horrible Human Being – He’s Mentally Unstable

January 26, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

In his first major network interview since the inauguration, TwitterFinger’s personality was on full view of the American people, and it wasn’t pretty.  It wasn’t just laughable; it was terrifying. It was unbelievable.  It was embarrassing.  The Washington Post’s summary of the interview is even more chilling.  To read those words is almost more jarring than hearing them since we’ve all gotten used to his 5th grade playground bully schtick.  In print, his words are horrifying.  My God, this guy’s not just a flaming asshole (sorry, Momma), he’s actually mentally unstable.  He is so pathologically narcissistic that everything, I mean everything is about him.  His speeches are the best ever, his crowds are the best ever, his standing ovations are larger, longer, and better than anyone’s.  To wit:

“See what Fox said. They said it was one of the great speeches. [At the CIA] They showed the people applauding and screaming. … I got a standing ovation. In fact, they said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl, and they said it was equal. I got a standing ovation. It lasted for a long period of time. You probably ran it live. I know when I do good speeches. I know when I do bad speeches. That speech was a total home run. They loved it. … People loved it. They loved it. They gave me a standing ovation for a long period of time. They never even sat down, most of them, during the speech. There was love in the room. You and other networks covered it very inaccurately. … That speech was a good speech. And you and a couple of other networks tried to downplay that speech. And it was very, very unfortunate that you did.”

Holy Jesus.  I used to think that he was just a cynical reality television star using his fame to play his supporters for chumps.  I have changed my opinion – he’s a nut.  He’s truly unstable and dangerous.  He obsesses so much about his fame and popularity that he actually makes decisions based on how much attention he can get.  If he gets offended, he flies into a rage.  If he perceives even a tiny slight he wildly overreacts and lashes out for days.  And this guy has the nuclear codes (and he’s putting Rootin’ Tootin’ Rick Perry in charge of the nuclear arsenal.)

I’ve gone from head shaking disbelief that the voters have inflicted this clown on us to truly fearing for our country.  The pit in my stomach isn’t healthy, but I feel completely helpless to do anything about this impending national tragedy.  I’m not even sure that even when impeached he’ll actually leave the White House; he’ll likely have to be physically removed.  This is not just a big Celebrity Apprentice episode, this is a modern day Madness of King George.

TwitterFinger and Other Thoughts

January 25, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Author’s Note: Someone last week pinned a new name on Cheeto Jesus – TwitterFinger.  I like it, so will begin using it in addition to my favorite moniker, CJ.

Random Thoughts for today:

Favorite slogan from his aborted run in 2012:

TwitterFinger has been busy.  Besides signing a virtual plethora of Executive Orders (that Republicans hated until January 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm), our senior overcomber has been obsessing over size.  Size really matters, probably because TwitterFinger is a euphemism for TinyFinger.  Anyway, I digress.  Last night, about 9:30, his favorite subject, television ratings, was top of mind:

He congratulated Fox News for apparently having highest ratings during the inauguration. He also couldn’t resist another shot at CNN.  That’s right, folks, the President of the United States is still obsessed with not only ratings, but the inauguration.  Speaking of ratings, here’s one from a couple of nights ago about the same subject:

Here’s another attempt to jab the media in the eye, a photograph of the ceremony which will be hung in the WH briefing room (which he calls press hall).

And lastly, this gem TwitterFinger issued after his awkward CIA appearance bragging about standing ovations and packed house.

Apparently, he forgot to mention (or maybe 140 characters is not enough) that the standing ovations came from paid shills who he brought to cheerlead.





Comey Rewarded for Using FBI for Political Purposes

January 24, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

This morning, Cheeto Jesus announced that Director of the FBI, James Comey, would keep his head as a reward for using the FBI to help keep Hillary out of the Whitehouse.  Comey, appointed by President Obama in 2013, is serving a 10 year term as director. I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked.  The takeover of the nation’s leading law enforcement agency by Cheetoists is complete.

UPDATED: And Now We Have Laugh Tracks

January 23, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Alternative Facts, Trump

UPDATED: CBS News has just reported that indeed Cheeto Jesus brought in about 40 of HIS supporters to Langley and packed the first three rows in front of the podium.  About 400 of thousands of CIA staffers came, and there indeed are some at CIA who support him.  The majority, though, were offended by his remarks and the consensus is that he made things worse, not better, despite the gaslighting by his supporters for the press pool cameras.

Did it strike you as odd that the press was laughing and applauding at Cheeto Jesus’s press conference at Cheeto Tower just before the inauguration?  Did it also strike you as even more odd when CIA staff did the same thing during his speech in front of the memorial for agents killed in the line of duty at Langley?  Me, too.


To Commemorate His Inaugural

January 21, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

To celebrate his historic inauguration as, uh…urp, president, Cheeto Jesus announced a new line of commemorative souvenirs not made in the USA.  Here they are:

Inaugural Tie Personally Tied by the President $399.99


Custom Kazoos Designed for Kellyanne Conway by Gucci $300.00 each or 12 for $10,000


Softly Sensual Jeweled Lollipop designed by Melania Trump for QVC $5,000.00


Scale model limo designed for Barron Trump – $300.00

And finally, in limited supply,

Cheeto Bronzer designed specifically for Cheeto Jesus $400.00 or 2 for $900.00


Into the Darkness

January 20, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

My beginning of the first day of the new, uh…urp, president’s term began appropriately – after a restless few hours of sleep, I was jolted out of bed at 3 am with a gigantic charley horse in my left leg.  Blissful sleep this night was not to be.  So, I dragged my weary self down the stairs, made my morning tea and opened my iPad.  JJJJEEEEEZZZZZZUUUUUSSSSS.  The first story is about how the FBI, the NSA, and the CIA are using intercepted communications to investigate Cheeto Jesus’s advisors’ ties to the Russians.  Several of CJ’s close advisors are under the microscope.

Then there’s the story about how CJ wanted tanks and missile launchers in the inaugural parade.  No, really, this idiot actually wanted a North Korean and Russian style parade.  Mercifully, the Pentagon said no, but caved on his demand for flyovers of aircraft from all the branches of the military.  This is the first time a flyover has been done since Harry Truman’s inaugural parade in 1949.

Then there’s the story that this transition was so poorly managed that dozens of Obama appointees were asked to stay until His Orangeness gets off Twitter long enough to hire the rest of his WH staff. Of the 660 staff he needs to appoint, he’s only filled 29 positions.

Then there’s the story about the Cheeto Interrussian Hotel that has already become an ethical minefield, and is now ground zero for those wishing favors from the new, uh…urp, president by holding huge events there, thus pouring more money into his pockets.

Then there’s the announcement by CJ that his 2020, uh…urp, reelection bid slogan is “Keep America Great”, which just so happens to be identical to the tag line of a horror movie from last year, The Purge, Election Year.  That’s right, dear customers, Cheeto Jesus just plagiarized his next campaign motto from a horror flick about election night.  You just can’t make up this stuff.

Then there’s the story about Reince Preibus ordering new staffers to not talk to CJ without his prior permission.  Oh, and to stay off social media.

BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHAAAAA!  The irony just seeps out of this one.

This promises to be a dark day.  I’m seeing Ms. Jefe off this morning to raise hell in the Women’s March on Washington, then I’m going to start drinking.  After all, if you don’t start early, you can’t drink all day.