Schumer Calls for Delay on Gorsuch

March 21, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Chuck Schumer, who I consider to be a New York machine hack, actually said something today with which I agree.  As long as Cheeto Jesus is under investigation by the FBI, the Senate should hold on any consideration of his nominees, especially that of Neil Gorsuch for SCOTUS.  Schumer said,

“There is a cloud now hanging over the head of the president, and while that’s happening, to have a lifetime appointment made by this president seems very unseemly and there ought to be a delay.”

This is rational.  After all, just consider the baying at the moon that Republicans would to doing if this was a Democratic president.

Am I regressing?

All You Need to Know

March 20, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

The, er, uh…(urp), President of the United States says he based his charge that the former President of the United States “wire tapped” Cheeto Tower on an assertion made on Fox Noise.  Doubling down, he then asserted that British intelligence did it at the former President’s request, also heard on Fox Noise.

Both charges were completely discredited by the Director of the FBI and the Director of National Intelligence.  There is ZERO evidence that either of these claims are true.

Two conclusions:

  1. The President of the United States uses Fox Noise as his prime source of information.
  2. Fox Noise is not a reliable source for ANY kind of information.

That is all you need to know.

Big Bend Border Wall? Stupid.

March 16, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Sumbitches, Trump

Cheeto Jesus is apparently eying Big Bend National Park for his border wall because it’s federal land.  The problem is that God already beat him to it:

Apparently to our, uh… (urp) president, if he can’t see it from Cheeto Tower, it’s all flat to him.


Dismantling “the Administrative State”

March 15, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Sumbitches, Trump

The White House just announced that Cheeto Jesus will be unveiling his new budget priorities tomorrow which include slashing the EPA budget by 31% and the State Department by 28%.  Son of Jabba the Hut, known as Steve Bannon to non-aliens, said this was part of CJ’s efforts to “dismantle the administrative state.”

Funny they bring up the State Department…A couple of weeks ago, I was in Canada for a meeting; stupidly I had let my passport expire at the end of the month, so to make it easier to get back into the states the following week, I decided to just go to a US Consulate and get an emergency renewal.  I called the US Consulates in Vancouver, Calgary, Ottawa, and even Houston.  I called no less than 10 times, never got a human, and never got a call back to my numerous messages.  In the end, I was able to talk my way back in since I am part of Global Entry.  The customs agent was actually pretty cool, said it happened all the time, and signed me through.

When I got back to Houston, I called the US Passport office to get an appointment to renew – and called and called and called.  So, far, no call back, no one answering the phones here, either.  So, I’ve got a great idea, why don’t we slash the State Department budget  so services to citizens will suck even MORE?

Oh, I left out the good part about CJ’s plan – he’s going to take the savings and reduce the deficit build more war machines.  After all, spending half of our discretionary spending on war making simply isn’t enough.

Jesus.  No, really.  Jesus.


What His Campaign Staff Learned that WH Staff Has Not

February 23, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

During the campaign, Cheeto Jesus’s senior staff was able to somewhat curb his twitter wars was to provide him a steady stream of praise by planting stories in conservative media like Breitbart, Infowars, and Daily Caller who would dutifully print them.  As long as his ego was stroked, he would tend to not get into as many twitter wars.  The new WH staff has not been successfully keeping his ego fed, and the result has been his late night drunk tweeting, gloating about his electoral win and ridiculing (companies, political opponents, television stars, foreign leaders; put your victim here) ________________.

So, the new SCROTUS has an ego so fragile that the only way to minimize his school yard bullying on Twitter is to keep him soothed with praise?  God help us.


Celebrity Apprentice Comes to the White House

January 31, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

CNN, MSNBC, and the New York Times are now reporting that both Supreme Court nominees are going to be present in the White House for Cheeto Jesus’s network announcement tonight of his choice.  Yes, you heard that right.  Apparently, His Orangeness thinks he’s hosting a big television game show, and is planning some kind of Celebrity Apprentice style rollout of his nominee.

Holy Jesus.  It is absolutely humiliating to be an American with this cancer infecting the White House.