What His Campaign Staff Learned that WH Staff Has Not

February 23, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

During the campaign, Cheeto Jesus’s senior staff was able to somewhat curb his twitter wars was to provide him a steady stream of praise by planting stories in conservative media like Breitbart, Infowars, and Daily Caller who would dutifully print them.  As long as his ego was stroked, he would tend to not get into as many twitter wars.  The new WH staff has not been successfully keeping his ego fed, and the result has been his late night drunk tweeting, gloating about his electoral win and ridiculing (companies, political opponents, television stars, foreign leaders; put your victim here) ________________.

So, the new SCROTUS has an ego so fragile that the only way to minimize his school yard bullying on Twitter is to keep him soothed with praise?  God help us.

 

Celebrity Apprentice Comes to the White House

January 31, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

CNN, MSNBC, and the New York Times are now reporting that both Supreme Court nominees are going to be present in the White House for Cheeto Jesus’s network announcement tonight of his choice.  Yes, you heard that right.  Apparently, His Orangeness thinks he’s hosting a big television game show, and is planning some kind of Celebrity Apprentice style rollout of his nominee.

Holy Jesus.  It is absolutely humiliating to be an American with this cancer infecting the White House.

He’s Not Just a Horrible Human Being – He’s Mentally Unstable

January 26, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

In his first major network interview since the inauguration, TwitterFinger’s personality was on full view of the American people, and it wasn’t pretty.  It wasn’t just laughable; it was terrifying. It was unbelievable.  It was embarrassing.  The Washington Post’s summary of the interview is even more chilling.  To read those words is almost more jarring than hearing them since we’ve all gotten used to his 5th grade playground bully schtick.  In print, his words are horrifying.  My God, this guy’s not just a flaming asshole (sorry, Momma), he’s actually mentally unstable.  He is so pathologically narcissistic that everything, I mean everything is about him.  His speeches are the best ever, his crowds are the best ever, his standing ovations are larger, longer, and better than anyone’s.  To wit:

“See what Fox said. They said it was one of the great speeches. [At the CIA] They showed the people applauding and screaming. … I got a standing ovation. In fact, they said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl, and they said it was equal. I got a standing ovation. It lasted for a long period of time. You probably ran it live. I know when I do good speeches. I know when I do bad speeches. That speech was a total home run. They loved it. … People loved it. They loved it. They gave me a standing ovation for a long period of time. They never even sat down, most of them, during the speech. There was love in the room. You and other networks covered it very inaccurately. … That speech was a good speech. And you and a couple of other networks tried to downplay that speech. And it was very, very unfortunate that you did.”

Holy Jesus.  I used to think that he was just a cynical reality television star using his fame to play his supporters for chumps.  I have changed my opinion – he’s a nut.  He’s truly unstable and dangerous.  He obsesses so much about his fame and popularity that he actually makes decisions based on how much attention he can get.  If he gets offended, he flies into a rage.  If he perceives even a tiny slight he wildly overreacts and lashes out for days.  And this guy has the nuclear codes (and he’s putting Rootin’ Tootin’ Rick Perry in charge of the nuclear arsenal.)

I’ve gone from head shaking disbelief that the voters have inflicted this clown on us to truly fearing for our country.  The pit in my stomach isn’t healthy, but I feel completely helpless to do anything about this impending national tragedy.  I’m not even sure that even when impeached he’ll actually leave the White House; he’ll likely have to be physically removed.  This is not just a big Celebrity Apprentice episode, this is a modern day Madness of King George.

TwitterFinger and Other Thoughts

January 25, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

Author’s Note: Someone last week pinned a new name on Cheeto Jesus – TwitterFinger.  I like it, so will begin using it in addition to my favorite moniker, CJ.

Random Thoughts for today:

Favorite slogan from his aborted run in 2012:

TwitterFinger has been busy.  Besides signing a virtual plethora of Executive Orders (that Republicans hated until January 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm), our senior overcomber has been obsessing over size.  Size really matters, probably because TwitterFinger is a euphemism for TinyFinger.  Anyway, I digress.  Last night, about 9:30, his favorite subject, television ratings, was top of mind:

He congratulated Fox News for apparently having highest ratings during the inauguration. He also couldn’t resist another shot at CNN.  That’s right, folks, the President of the United States is still obsessed with not only ratings, but the inauguration.  Speaking of ratings, here’s one from a couple of nights ago about the same subject:

Here’s another attempt to jab the media in the eye, a photograph of the ceremony which will be hung in the WH briefing room (which he calls press hall).

And lastly, this gem TwitterFinger issued after his awkward CIA appearance bragging about standing ovations and packed house.

Apparently, he forgot to mention (or maybe 140 characters is not enough) that the standing ovations came from paid shills who he brought to cheerlead.

Sad.

 

 

 

Comey Rewarded for Using FBI for Political Purposes

January 24, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

This morning, Cheeto Jesus announced that Director of the FBI, James Comey, would keep his head as a reward for using the FBI to help keep Hillary out of the Whitehouse.  Comey, appointed by President Obama in 2013, is serving a 10 year term as director. I’m shocked, I tell you, shocked.  The takeover of the nation’s leading law enforcement agency by Cheetoists is complete.

UPDATED: And Now We Have Laugh Tracks

January 23, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Alternative Facts, Trump

UPDATED: CBS News has just reported that indeed Cheeto Jesus brought in about 40 of HIS supporters to Langley and packed the first three rows in front of the podium.  About 400 of thousands of CIA staffers came, and there indeed are some at CIA who support him.  The majority, though, were offended by his remarks and the consensus is that he made things worse, not better, despite the gaslighting by his supporters for the press pool cameras.

Did it strike you as odd that the press was laughing and applauding at Cheeto Jesus’s press conference at Cheeto Tower just before the inauguration?  Did it also strike you as even more odd when CIA staff did the same thing during his speech in front of the memorial for agents killed in the line of duty at Langley?  Me, too.

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