Celebrity Apprentice Comes to the White House

January 31, 2017 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

CNN, MSNBC, and the New York Times are now reporting that both Supreme Court nominees are going to be present in the White House for Cheeto Jesus’s network announcement tonight of his choice.  Yes, you heard that right.  Apparently, His Orangeness thinks he’s hosting a big television game show, and is planning some kind of Celebrity Apprentice style rollout of his nominee.

Holy Jesus.  It is absolutely humiliating to be an American with this cancer infecting the White House.

New President to Work Part-Time

December 09, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: Trump

When Cheeto Jesus was asked during the campaign if he would give up his business empire if he got elected, he unequivocally answered that his business would mean nothing and he would focus only on the country.  Well, suckers, that ain’t happening, not even close.  He’s not divesting, he’s not forming a blind trust, and he’s not even stepping away.  He’s already using his position as…uh…erp, president elect to advance his business interests in Scotland, Taiwan, and other countries.  Other countries are already flocking to CJ Hotel in Washington DC to hold special events.  Ivanka is moving to DC so she’ll keep him up to speed on daily business decisions.

And now this – Variety is reporting that CJ is retaining his position as executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice and will continue receiving payment for that position.  That’s right, the President of the United States will moonlight on the cheesiest reality show on television.  To Cheeto Jesus, being leader of the free world is a part time job.

I’m so proud.  And I know you are, too.