Stockman Not Missing. It’s a Giant Media Conspiracy
Steve Stockman says he was never missing – it was just a giant media conspiracy.
Breitbart has the coolest, and by coolest I mean deranged, story about it.
Sockman’s [sic] spokesman, Denny Ferguson, also sent Breitbart News a press release headlined “Stockman returns from official State Department tour, backs Israel, exposes media bias.”
“You must be conservative when you’re meeting with the media and the media claim they can’t find you. Reporters knew of trip but claimed otherwise. We decided to hold out and see how long reporters would pretended they didn’t know I was on official business,” Stockman said, according to the release.
He claims he was in Russia but missed a meeting with Putin because of the whole, you know, Davos thing that nobody ever suspected would keep Putin busy. He also didn’t get to meet with Edward Snowden. Or Jennifer Lopez or General Francisco Franco. The Queen of England also denied his request because she was washing her hair that day. Okay, so I made up everything after Snowden but you also most believed it, didn’t you? That’s because he’s Steve Stockman.
Breitbart continues with this —
During the trip, the group had several close encounters with danger, Stockman said.
“Fun fact, Israel arrested [a] terrorist for trying to blow up our embassy while we were there,” Stockman said. “Don’t forget just days after we left Cairo, Egypt 5 bombs went off,” he added.
Before he signed off to go to sleep, Stockman offered one final thought: “It’s becoming a dangerous world and the seeds the President unknowningly [sic] or not has sown are going to bear bitter fruit and kill many.”
So, apparently, I lost my bet that he was in rehab.
I’m not so certain about that, perhaps the rehab didn’t take?
1What an arrogant liar. They have rehab in Russia too. It’s called the Stalag.
2Please hold all tickets. Please hold all tickets. What Stockmann says he was doing and what he was actually doing may not be within shouting distance of each other. Rehab is still a valid response.
I’m still betting that he returned to the crossroads to ask Satan to make him a Senator with a second mortgage on the soul that got him to Congress.
3So Stockman was in the Middle East and just NOW thinks the world is a dangerous place?
No rehab—-psych ward, no meds and an ugly incident with
4a groundskeeper who told him to stop digging up flowerbeds looking for bombs.
Regardless of where Stockyard … ooops … Stockman was or did … it all boils down to “… it’s all Obama’s fault!”
Jesus … give us all a friggen break from these repulsive Repukes!!
McConnell and Cruz are thinking they are going to shut down the world when it’s time to raise the debt limit again. They both need stakes driven deep into their stone cold hearts in order to do them both in.
5See, I told y’all he was on a major bender. And he’s still higher then a damn kite.
Someone catch this idiot with a net before he causes an international incident.
Good Grief.
6Seems like this is a pretty simple matter to clear up – who was he with? He says four other Congresscritters, so okay…which ones?
Otherwise he was on a bender.
7“It’s becoming a dangerous world and the seeds the President unknowningly [sic] or not has sown are going to bear bitter fruit and kill many.”
I agree, President Duhbya did indeed fuck things up in the middle east pretty badly.
8@Stockman camp, “You lie.”
MDMA and Wild Turkey togethrer not good for you. One or the other dude, not both. Leave the bong in Colorado.
9The seeds he has not sown will bear bitter fruit? That’s pretty amazing.
10I still believe Eric Holder was detaining him in one of the FEMA camps.
11He was wearing his Harry Potter Cloak of Invisibility in the Middle East. Bet money on it.
12Correction: Stalags were the German prison camps. Our intrepid congresscritter was probably attending rehab in the Gulag. (Russian for spa)
13Poor old Steve. I do believe he could get lost bending over to tie his shoelace.
14Maybe he was in jail…
15Which insane gohmert is sending these delegations of crazy gohmerts to politically sensitive regions without requiring they wear muzzles?
Sorry Texas, but old Stockyard should not be allowed outside of Texas, not even to roam the halls of Congress with the other crooks and gohmerts.
Question #2. How much did this waste cost us this time?
16Shouldn’t we all hope that Stockman wins the GOP primary? He would be easier to defeat in the general election than Cornyn. If he were elected his voting record could be no worse than Cornyn’s, particularly since he might be visiting the planet Mongo during an important record vote of the senate. And he certainly would be more entertaining.
17Criminy.
18Nah… he was in rehab. The counselor told him he was in denial, and he though he was on the Nile. Easy mistake for the addled.
19I think he was selling bomb materials in the Middle East. See how he is bragging about the results of his sales? 5 in Egypt right after being there and one in the embassy he was in–that must have been the display model during the sale.
20Usually when a doufus CongressCritter takes one of these all expenses paid (by the taxpayers) “fact-finding” trips abroad, he/she is looking to add “foreign policy experience” to the resume.
Is Stockman looking at a possible V-P slot on the Republican clown-car ticket?
21OldMayfly, you certainly have special insight into the Stockyard cranium. Next trick is to determine which of the crazies driving the clown car is sufficiently gohmert to consider that particular load of gohmert as VP material.
Gohmert definition of cranium: empty space devoid of planets or planetary activity located somewhere outside the galaxy.
With Chris Christie crumbling faster than a doughnut in his mouth, Holy Gohmert the last almost sane man standing would be Paul, “I can do the math, just don’t expect me to use real numbers,” Ryan.
Liking the odds for 2014 and 2016 better each day. ’14 with Blue Texas and ’16 with Blue America. The GOP is in dire straits with budget “expert” can’t do arithmetic gohmert Ryan surrounded by a field of lunatics vying to be more gohmert crazy and extreme than Cornyn, McConnell, McCain and Miss Lindsey Beauregard Graham.
What a field! Jon Stewart is salivating with visions of job security.
22“Don’t forget just days after we left Cairo, Egypt 5 bombs went off,” he added.
23Am I the only one who thinks this should be looked at?
Gohmert Doofus, Stockyard couldn’t buy a clue with Koch-o-head gohmerts money in his paw.
Brad, the Arab Spring is so beyond the comprehension of the Texas Twits and their gohmert delusions, am thinking we seriously need a constitutional change. Elected ‘representatives’ found with either their paws in the cookie jar or in flagrant deflector with felony stupidity are required not only to step down, but also forfeit all benefits.
Due Process? Nah. These gohmerts deserve to be prosecuted under the Talithug laws they represent. Let them have it their way. Kool
24It it just me?…
25You guys are funny as usual, but it find myself less and less able to care…
My kids are good kids–hard working, too hard actually–my oldest daughter has a two year old and a four year old that she literally hasn’t seen in three weeks because of work travel, my brother, who will never get to retire, travels at least three weeks a month in various configurations, my partner is gone from 7am until 9pm everyday, including weekends, my youngest daughter’s husband is on 36hours at work, then off 12 –she wants a child but is terrified of how it’s going to play out…they have always worked hard, my daughters, headmasters awards, up for national commendation, working in Calcutta with Mother T, deans list–so they can just keep working harder? I worked so hard, I was the horse that finally gets carried off to the knackers…a severe disability that still hasn’t stopped me from working hard around my home…burst pipes have me hustling to get that reorganized, walls and paint, sorting messes.
And I read about this asshat…and I wonder, what are we doing this all for?
The American dream is unattainable, and if you can attain it, at what cost? And Stockman is a real candidate?
My daughters need to be ware, very ware because the repukes want them to have no libido, no birth control, and calls them names if they need hormones to monitor their health?
There is a rage inside that is building, not at men, although from my life experiences, none would blame me for that, but at stupidity, narrow vision and such a waste of time, energy, and love. I am reminded of harsher times, when women with “uncontrolled libidos” were called darker things, “witch” and “devils playmates”then burned for inciting desire in contemptible beings–they say that say that they hold “family values” as Newt brings charges against President Clinton while he is having yet another affair…I hold the same contempt for these people as I did for the men who tried to take advantage of my very young mother after her divorce, good churchmen offering “help”, as long as their wives didn’t know…scorning them, my mother and then I had the experience of being held as Bad–when all it was, was, that like Jessica Rabbit, it was just the way we were drawn.
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, and wonder what will be the cost for the women, the less talented and intelligent as my own, for there is nothing as ugly as self righteous men.
It’s just really bothering me…I have lost my good humor…
Elise Von Holten, there is nothing wrong with either your sense of humor or reality. We should be angry about wages being driven down, while trust fund babies inherit unearned income at the expense of the people who created that wealth, workers.
The Thug party is a farce hoping to suck a little kibble from the 1%. They do not comprehend that the jerks they worship will toss them aside, if they become politically convenient. Ask Mitch, McCain, Graham, Cornyn and assorted Goobers.
Our hope is with the good people who blog and distribute the truth. Better yet, the good people like Susan and Glenn, who work tirelessly to get out the vote and educate the voters.
Go Blue Texas, America and thank you, Susan and Bubba for the good fight.
26Read y’all. Have come to the conclusion that Stockyard should never be allowed out of even so much as a phone booth without a keeper.
27No pictures? Didn’t happen.
28Ellse, this is exactly why Juanita Jean and the entire crew at TWMDBS are so valuable. She exposes the nutjobs and keeps us all sane.
As much as I would love to think the Rethugs in Texas have gone completely down the rabbit hole, there is no way even they will choose Stockyard over Cornyn, alas.
There is, however, an entire Progressive movement out there that is growing every single day to fight against the powers that are perpetuating the destruction of our civil society. Join them.
29Steve: To avoid this press conspiracy in the future, inform your staff where you are and allow they to tell the pesty media.
30Elise:
I haven’t lost my sense of humor, Thank goodness. Otherwise, I’d not survive all this lunacy from Republicans in general, and more specifically Texas Republicans.
I have, however, lost patience with all this foolishness.
31All I can do is strongly suggest to everyone I know, that if they continue to vote these people into office, Shame on ’em.
Everyone–thanks!
32It was a tough evening, pain wise…I got behind on my cycle and it was (as some of you know from your own lives) hard to stay even. When I went to pick up my beloved, things changed for the better…my funny bone got tickled and I was howling with laughter, to the point where I was hurting around my ribcage from laughing so much–a grand space to occupy!!
He was bewildered, as is often the case when only one of a partnership gets overwhelmed by the humor of something–but willing to hold me—and THAT is what was needed. With all of the spaces that thinking, feeling humans cover–and here at the beauty shop we get them all, a simple hug is often the answer. Thanks for the real care in a virtual space.
From PoliticusUSA yesterday:
Tea Party Darling Steve Stockman Gives Pathetic Excuse For Being MIA This Month
http://www.politicususa.com/2014/01/27/tea-party-darling-steve-stockman-pathetic-excuse-mia-month.html
To paraphrase one of Stockman’s famous quotes: “How is this a Senate candidate?”
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