Step Away From The iPhone and Nobody Gets Hurt

March 07, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh Jason Chaffetz, you rascally devil, we appreciate your determination to take over Louie Gohmert’s place as the House of Republican Nuts Food Truck driver.

This morning Chaffetz he defended the rising cost of health insurance under the Republican plan —

“You know what, Americans have choices, and they’ve got to make a choice.  And so maybe, rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and want to go spend hundreds of dollars on, maybe they should invest in their own health care.”

I have heard that the average cost of a heath care plan in America is about $250 a month, but that’s only if you’re healthy.  Buying an iPhone 7 through a wireless carrier and paying for it in installments is about $30 per month.


Or, or, or – you could buy one outright and pay for the first month of health insurance.  Then the next month, you could give up your car.  And then in Marh you could not eat for two weeks out of the month. May brings foregoing the electricity bill and one week a month of not eating.

Chaffetz, you are so delicious.


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48 Comments to “Step Away From The iPhone and Nobody Gets Hurt”

  1. WA Skeptic says:

    Yeah, that makes sense to me…

    These Congresscritters are so respectful of their constituents.


  2. e platypus onion says:

    Iz my eyes going bad or does Chafedbutz face resemble Blake Farenthold’s butt-ugly face? Yeeech!

  3. Jane & PKM says:

    Yo Jason, ye of many religions, no principles and a lackluster time at Bang ’em Young as a punter, explain again how it is that insurance for profit equals health care. When Humana and the like actually stitch a wound or apply a dressing, call me.

    It’s called overhead, Jason. Insurance companies are what Congress has become, a siphon on resources without any reasonable explanation as to why they exist.

    Had that talk with your daughter yet or are you forcing her to wear reflective sunglasses so you can avoid looking into her eyes, schmuck?

  4. joel hanes says:

    Average cost of healthcare consumed by a single American per year is somewhere over ten thousand dollars.

    Insurance doesn’t change that, just shifts the payment burden around.

    The best most expensive cell phone you can buy costs less than one month of premiums for a good insurance plan provided to an average American individual by a for-profit insurance company.

  5. “Americans have choices, and they’ve got to make a choice.”
    The choice they’ll be forced to make:

    Buy the iPhone they can afford.
    Download the WebMD app and hope for the best.

  6. Fred Farklestone says:

    Let this sink in!
    10% of the new republican healthcare plan concerns lottery winners!

    New GOP Health Plan Devotes Six of 60+ Pages to Dealing With Lottery Winners’ Coverage

  7. Jane & PKM says:

    Fred Farklestone, if Donnie and his windfall profit cohorts paid taxes at the rate lottery winners do, we could afford to pay for necessary social services, education and infrastructure.

    Tax cuts have been working so well since Reagan, let’s do some more of that insanity. /s

  8. Yeah yeah “poverty is a choice” blah blah blah

    Nancy Reagan was wrong then and the lil punter is wrong. snacilbupeR ARE consistent.

  9. JAKvirginia says:

    Says the man who as a member of Congress has his Cadillac health-care subsidized by the American taxpayers.

    The conservative meme is: It worked for me so it will work for you.

    The only way it will work for me is if I become you.

    And I’d rather eat dirt.

  10. Tilphousia says:

    Let’s give the rethuglicans the healthcare they want to force on the people. And while we’re at it, let’s also give them the minimum wage of $7.25/hr. See how well they do. I would just love to see that cockwomble chafass, mcturtle and the rest of the thugs stand in line for food stamps. The rethuglicans are the true welfare queens, not poor women trying to feed, clothe, and house their families.

  11. Sam in San Antonio says:

    It should be noted that this clown represents the Provo, UT area, probably the reddest most Mormon area in the world.

  12. “Americans have choices, and they’ve got to make a choice.”

    Between buying food or paying for insurance?
    Between keeping a roof over your head or paying for insurance?
    Between having a car for work and gas or paying for insurance?

    Obviously Mr. Chaffetz needs to be reduced to minimum wages like many americans and experience the same level of worry to get a clue about real life in the USA, beyond the DC cocktail hour. But what really needs to happen is that he needs to be unemployed in 2018.

  13. maryelle says:

    Typical Republican doublecross. Tax cuts for the rich and medical care cuts for the poor and middle class. Instead of healthcare subsidies under Obamacare, tax deductions for those who don’t make enough to pay taxes under the Rethugs. Just how stupid do they think we are? Time to take to the streets again. Good news, it doesn’t sound like the hard core right supports it ’cause it’s not sever enough and, hopefully, the Dems will oppose this travesty. Might buy some time until the Russia investigation singes their wings.

  14. maryelle says:

    Sorry, should read “…not severe enough”.

  15. OMG, I grew up hearing this tripe from the pulpit only it concerned having more children rather than buy a necessary washing machine to clean all those damn diapers! It didn’t make a lick of sense and it only dumped “sinfulness” on an undeserving flock that got thinner and thinner over the years. I think something similar is happening with the R’s inasmuch as I am hearing huge dissatisfaction from that part of the faithful. Taking bets now that Obamacare simply will never die in a way to suit the haters. Tsk, tsk!

  16. Sam in San Antonio:

    That’s rich!
    The congressman lecturing us about healthcare and phones, doesn’t pay for healthcare or phones.

    Next he’ll harangue us over retirement plans.

  17. AliceBeth says:

    Well, I was going to send that asshole copies of my bills for my mastectomy, chemo and radiation and let him see how that compares to the price of a new cellphone. However, people on Twitter have apparently done something similar and since I have no plans to join Twitter, I will let them speak for me.

    The American Healthcare Act, is that what the call it? The Trump/Ryan Clueless Plan is much more apt.

  18. e platypus onion says:

    Apparently women of forced child bearing age aren’t considered Americans with choices.

  19. e platypus onion says:

    If memory serves, as of 2014 congressweasels had to purchase their insurance from the same exchanges as the rest of us-with some exceptions. I remember BusTED Cruz griping about this.

  20. Oh, but aren’t the snacilbupeR sooooo in touch with the little people?!

    I really hate those guys.

  21. Arakasi says:

    Don’t be silly. After month 4 they can start selling off surplus children.

    In a couple of weeks, my wife is taking four days leave from Ft Hood. I’m flying down to the area with our boys to spend the time with her. Our hotel is in Austin. I know a lot of JJ’s customers know the area pretty well, so I’m asking for suggestions for the “don’t miss” sights of of the capitol area that work for families with kids who are 2 and 10 years old. Thanks in advance. -Ned

  22. e platypus onion says:

    Someone please step up to the plate and lend Arakasi a helping hand.

    Hi Debbooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  23. two crows says:

    Believe it or not, Reagan [yes, THAT Reagan! The one every Republican loves] increased both Medicare and Medicaid. Know why he did it? The media [yes, THAT media — the group every Republican vilifies] brought it to light that grannies and grampa’s were eating cat food in order to pay for their medications. Or doing without their meds in order to eat human food. The Republican definition of sound decision making.

    And oh, the outcry! Across the country people rose up and blamed – – – Congress and the president! For refusing, for the first 6 years of his presidency, to even consider the idea of looking into the matter.

    So they had to come together and give us a bigger package than they would have been able to get by with if they hadn’t dragged their feet. They finally got the dang thing passed in July of 1988 — as he was on his way out the door. All while bemoaning the cost – because of course they did.

    And THAT is why they all love him so to this day: that bill ensured their reelections while it did nothing for him.

    And here we are again. Yelling worked in 1988 — we gotta get out there and yell folks.

  24. Why does anyone think that the Republican congress exists for any other reason than to funnel every available penny of the federal budget into the pockets of their corporate overlords?

    That’s what they’ve been bought and paid for to do. “Do your job! We pay you!” from constituents results in nothing but hypocrisy and the occasional public horse laugh.

    Everyone keeps trying to invent ethical principles for gutting healthcare availability, EPA, NASA, basic research, etc.

    Occam’s Razor prevails: There are no ethical principles.

    There is only gusher economics — pumping money upward from most of us to the 1% so they can have golden bathroom faucets and other necessities. [Fe]


  25. @Arakasi

    RE: Austin, the wonderfully weird capitol of Texas

    Well years ago, when I was a 20-something a friend tole me Sixth Street was pretty OK. I’d leave the 2yo and 10yo out of this recommendation however.

    The bats living under the Congress Avenue bridge are way cool as they come and go.

    The bats in the state legislature are not. Avoid them at all costs.

    Threadgill’s on North Lamar is pretty ok.

    Chicken$hit bingo at Little Longhorn Saloon is a truly unique experience. The 2yo will love it and likely will double the sense of maturity by his very presence. 🙂

    Governor’s mansion is worth a couple of minutes.

    State Capitol is worth a few minutes as well. I forgot a khaki Ford gimme cap there a couple of years ago. If you see it snatch it up and we’ll talk later.

    The LBJ Library is on the UT campus if museums interest you.
    If you go there, stop by the Memorial Stadium on campus and get a sense of how Texans really worship on Saturday afternoons in fall.

  26. Be careful about romanticizing “deals” around our retirement benefits. The Reagan compromise advanced the full retirement age in Social Security by years. Next year that costs my household $45,000. Yeah they did that too.

  27. Sure, give up that new iphone and when there is an emergency, call 911 from the nonexistent payphone on the corner, then pay for the ride to the hospital and subsequent care with that wonderful insurance credit…which after taxes won’t even pay for your obituary in the paper.

  28. Sandridge says:

    Arakasi @22,
    There are all the usual tourist places, like the capitol grounds, the Guvs Mansion nearby (a block or two to the SW), etc.

    Austin has fantastic BBQ joints all over, you can pig out on every kind of BBQ you like, daily. BBQBBQBBQ…
    One called, IIRC, Franklin’s, is supposed to be tops (had a BBQ series show on PBS). Also check online “Texas Monthly” magazine, they have a whole section on BBQ, reviews, statewide not just Austin, some goods ones close to Austin too–Lockhart, etc., east of Austin, probably the best.

    Then, don’t know if they’re back yet, but the daily evening BAT flight from under the Congress Ave. bridge over Lake Travis/Town Lake, just on the south edge of downtown, is cool to watch (close by is Zilker Park and others in the area ). Millions of bats, harmless clouds of them. They’re migratory, but it has been such a mild winter that insect populations are growing rapidly all over, so the bats might be cranking up. There are also some ‘bat caves’ towards San Antonio.
    If you’re into hiking, there is a trail up one of the tallest hills around, on the SW side of town, great views and history, close to Lake Travis, near where the “Capitol of Texas” highway (SH-360?) crosses it (avoid rush-hour there). Highland Lakes-Lake Travis for watersports, boat rentals, etc.

    Not far southwest down I-35 is San Marcos, stuff to see. There’s a very nice restaurant near TSU right on the SM River, next to small falls, awesome views and vg food. Former Aquarena Springs park is now a nature park.

    Then New Braunfels a little farther down I-35. Naegelins Bakery just off the town square, great best bakery in TX, get more than one apple strudel (huge- 2-3′ long-superdelicious; earlier is better. BBQ and German food all over.
    Landa Park is awesome for kids and adults; big, clear, pure springs create the Comal River, paddleboats, train ride, huge natural pool, etc., relaxing Don’t know if Schlitterbahn (sp?) will be cranked up, although it’s spring break.

    Tubing the San Marcos, Comal, and Guadalupe Rivers is an option (but could be/is chilly water, if air temp is >85 no prob); if you go for crowds.

    Bandera a long way down Hwy 46 from New Braunfels, has dude ranches, horseback riding.

    Then San Antonio, just a bit more down I-35; what can I say (not enough electrons)? Lots of tourist/historical stuff. BBQ, TX-MX, German, whatever, food…Alamo, Brackenridge Park…

    Austin to SA is maybe 30min to an hour and some, depending on traffic. I once commuted from far SE of San Antonio and all places mentioned were doable.

    Then, due west of Austin out Hwy 290 about 45 minutes, is Fredricksburg (with several interesting towns between). F’burg has wineries, great beer gardens and German food and beer (and TX-MX food, like everywhere). B&B’s that my kids like, etc. Nimitz Pacific Museum.

    And that’s just scratching the surface of Central and South Texas. You didn’t mention if you’re from TX, but even if so, you’ll never see it all.
    I worked and drove through almost all of it, and could still never run out of things to do-see-eat-drink-heheh.
    Although almost nowhere north of Austin interests me in the least (or east of Columbus).

    After fatfingering my tiny bluetooth keyboard and touchscreen, I briefly lost this lengthy screed and almost had MI/stroke/ravingmadtotalmeltdown, so gotta post it with much unwritten, BION. Opera browser saved the day, again!

    Must. now. have. some: rum and BBQ…

  29. e platypus onion says:

    Micr and Sandridge you have my undying (I am a Vampire) gratitude for helping out a fellow TWMDBS patron. Live long and eat BBQ.

  30. People seem to always enjoy the Riverwalk in San Antonio (the children would enjoy the boat ride along the river, and the people who operate the boats give a pretty good and often funny commentary). The relatively new Briscos Western Art Museum and the old Mexican village, La Vallita, on the Riverwalk are nice too.

  31. @epo

    We talking beef ribs or beef brisket? Dallas, Central Texas, or Houston? Not to mention Kansas City and whatever it is they do with hog out in the rebellious states.

    Call me anything you want except late for a plate o’BBQ!

  32. Sandridge says:

    e platypus onion,
    Vampire? Get thee beneath the Congress Ave. bridge, then freak out the tourists…

    I forgot to mention: when traveling w/daughter #3, ANY place in South Texas was only 5-15 minutes away, with her piloting her own private mag-lev. With new less than 2 month old youngun, will assume the mag-lev has been restored to previous SUV state. (kidding of course, sort of)

    cattle cabrito hog turkey chikn shrimp fish oyster dawg cat bat ohwait urk
    eheheh, yum

  33. Arakasi says:

    Micr, Sandridge, june,

    Thanks for the suggestions. My wife’s National Guard unit is preparing to spend the rest of the year out of the country, so I’m hoping to make her last leave memorable.

    We are going to spend at least a day down San Antonio-New Braunfels way and we have tickets for Adam Savage’s stage show Saturday night.

    We are definitely going to try the BBQ, but from what I’ve heard, there is no way to eat at Franklin’s without waiting in line, so we are just going to have to console ourselves with one of the other 13,654 BBQ joints within Austin city limits.

    We are going to be staying near the UT campus, so the LBJ library would be an easy trip

    The bats are a must, and the SA Riverwalk sounds like it would be a hit. We’ll also try to get some hiking in, but we will be limited by 2 year old legs and how far we are willing to carry him when he’s decided he’s had enough. We learned years back that there is a limit to how many times we can sing the elephant marching song from Jungle Book before we go crazy, even if we make up our own verses.

    Thanks again for your help.

  34. Marge Wood says:

    One day I took a day off from work and took our then-eight-year old grandson downtown for an adventure. Our favorite thing was riding up and down in the glass elevator at the Omni for a half hour. Other passengers grinned and said they’d done that with their grandchildren too. We also ate a picnic lunch on a patch of grass just off Lamar. Then the last event was going to the public library so he could play video games on their computers. The new main library won’t be open for several months, I’m sad to say. Several old favorite places have closed, but there’s still the Capitol with a gift shop and good cafeteria. Kids like rolling down the grassy lawn. There’s free parking for visitors just east of the Capitol. The Wildflower Center has something for anyone who can walk or ride in a wheelchair. Lots of kids’ play stuff there.
    Bless your hearts.

  35. L'Angelomisterioso says:

    @e platypus onion #2-I’ve seen that Utahan’s name rendered as chafed@$$ and chapped@$$, I like your rendition, as well. the short, and sweet answer to your query is yes except for a few kilos of avoirdupois in the jowl area they could be mistaken one for the other
    @ Arasaki#22- your wife and you have my sincerest condolences. Many years ago when I was a much younger, and more foolish person Uncle Sugar in his wisdom saw fit to send me to Ft. Hood on my return from Asia. If you did not have the 2 and 10 YO to consider Austin is the capital of live music, they might get tired of you traipsing around all the live music venues centered around the Moody Theater on Willie Nelson Blvd.I’d be sure both Austin and Ft. Hood have changed considerably in the time since I was there.Chafed@$$ has forgotten the reaction to the cat food commission.It was, as I recall, White Hot. Led on the internet by the incomparable Josh Marshall and his Talking Points Memo website. I believe both the emotion and Marshall are still around.

  36. JAKvirginia says:

    Hey, Arakasi! Ya gotta love the Salon, eh? Better than AAA. Hope your family has a wonderful time and give your spouse all of our good wishes for a safe return. Cheers.

  37. shortpeople says:

    Being poor is a badge of dishonor. If one is poor, one has no claim on any part of the American dream, which is only available to the worthy. Poor people can’t have nice things. Or useful things. Or things that keep them alive. Or things that equip their children to participate in America. Or air.

  38. Jill Ann says:

    My two daughters have been students at UT Austin for the past 6 years, so I’ve learned a few things about the neighborhood! I’ve heard that Franklin Barbecue is great, but I’m not about to stand in line for two or three hours to try it out! I recommend Kerbey Lane (multiple locations, one is right off campus on Guadalupe). Great pancakes, Mexican food, and burgers. Trudy’s has great Mexican food & margaritas. Magnolia Cafe is also great, as well as Shady Grove. All are kid friendly. Barton Springs is a really cool green space & spring-fed pool (too cold now for swimming, probably, but fun to visit anyway). There’s a nice trail along Lady Bird Lake, and there are boat tours on the lake that are fun. And btw, Book People is like the best independent book store I’ve ever been to!

  39. slipstream says:

    I wasn’t hungry until I read these comments.

    Now look what you have done.

  40. Arakasi says:

    Jill Anne, you managed to find my crack. My wife and I spent two night in a tiny town in the mountains of AZ (Crown King, population 28, but with its own schism) and I came home with 3 new books).

    Kathryn doesn’t particularly care what we do, so I’ll pump my older son for his opinions tonight. It looks like it will be easy to eat at a different place every meal without visiting a chain restaurant We’re going to miss SXSW, and our ability to sit for live music depends on my youngest’s tolerance. I’ll bring copies of Mowana and Kubo & the Two Strings (highly recommended if you haven’t seen it) for Family Movie Night when the boys are exhausted.

    Thanks again for all of the suggestions. I knew I could rely on the denizens of TWMDBS.

  41. e platypus onion says:

    Got a secret to share. BBQ does not agree with epo’s tummy and I avoid it like the plague.

    But then I hear you creatures from down South cut your eye teeth on napalm based chilies so BBQ would be a walk in the park. Yikes!

    Mr Arakasi- the patrons of JJ’s Salon are the creme de la creme. And welcome to the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon. Have fun with the family. You are only young once.

  42. Annabelle Lee says:

    Has no one pointed out yet that Chaffetz paid for his iPhone using campaign funds?

  43. e platypus onion says:

    Sam in San Antonia and Rick both covered that above,Annabelle Lee.

  44. maryelle says:

    Epo, I agree that Chaffetz and Farenthold resemble one another. They both have an Alfred E. Newmanesque quality.
    “What me worry?”.

  45. Jane & PKM says:

    Schadenfreude! Oh the delectable irony of striking fear into the cold dead heart of the likes of Jason Chaffetz losing his House seat. The snacilbupeR have campaigned using fear against the electorate since 2000 and Dubya. Time to give the little punter from Bang ’em Young a daily dose of fear. She’s coming for your seat Jason. Fear the woman who can beat you, Kathryn Allen. 2018, our donations are going to Dr. Kathryn Allen to defeat Chaffetz in Utah and the candidate who steps up to defeat Teddie Crooze. Yes, some battles are personal. 😀

    We supported Catherine Cortez-Masto, Kamala Harris and Maggie Hassan in 2016, along with efforts to turn TX blue. We’d like to “pick six” for 2018, too.

  46. Sandridge says:

    e platypus onion,
    As one who scarfs stuff like this every day–
    get acclimated with this stuff and your tummy will thenceforth be A-OK:

    A drop or two to start:
    KC Masterpiece® Fiery Habanero Honey Barbecue Sauce

    (One of the reasons I like the Yucatan: (Wiki) Habaneros are an integral part of Yucatecan food, accompanying most dishes, either in natural form or purée or salsa.)

    My garden has lots of Pequins and Chiltepins, and a deadly crop of lethal Carolina Reapers: