Shocked, Shocked, I Tell You

October 31, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Jeb! has learned that the Bush name ain’t as sparkling as he first thought. In fact, it ain’t shiny at all.

Come to find out, Jeb!’s team in Ohio is shooting for a measly 18% of the vote as their goal.  Y’all, I am no math wizard but I think winning with 18% only happens in Chinese algebra.

Jeb!’s phone banking team was able to identify a whopping 1,260 supporters out of the 128,000 Republican voters in Ohio, and they suspect that at least 18% of those were drunk.

I do not see a good ending to this.

The Chief Operating Officer of his campaign didn’t either so she and her shadow hit the door.

Well, at least he doesn’t have to go around defending his brother anymore so there’s that.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

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49 Comments to “Shocked, Shocked, I Tell You”


  1. “Chinese algebra” Really?

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  2. Marcia in CO says:

    One by one, they are dropping like flies … Trump and Carson will be the only 2 yahoos left and neither has a snowball’s chance in hell of ever gracing the Oval Office.

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  3. His has been the loudest implosion so far, but I think Snot Wanker’s was more satisfying because he’s such a despicable jacka$$.

    Hey, anyone think all the Halloween clown costumes were taken by the Republicans? Hahahahahahahaha!

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  4. When was the last time the leader a year before the election actually won, not counting incumbents? Often it seems like whoever gets the lead gets more scrutiny, and when they turn out to be crazy and/or corrupt, they drop back in the pack.

    Hands up everybody who wishes that our elections were like Canada’s in lasting a matter of weeks instead of freakin’ YEARS.

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  5. OH, Canada! Our home and native land . . .

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  6. WA Skeptic says:

    Looks like someone took that website down, JJ. Too bad, I’d have enjoyed reading the hype before she ghosted!

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  7. Brian Meehan says:

    The “she and her shafow” link doesn’t work.

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  8. Juanita Jean says:

    Sorry about the bad link. Try this one: http://fortune.com/2015/10/30/jeb-bush-campaign-coo/

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  9. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Seems like every day is Halloween with politicians. Our e-mail doesn’t miss a day without several of them begging for money. Just because we live in the same state as Shelly Adelson does not mean that we’re their “Uncle Shelly.” Now with Catherine Masto running for Harry Reid’s Senate seat there is no peace appearing in our near future.

    As for Jeb(?), he’s dumber than Dubya and meaner than his mother. Rubio, the billionaire’s barnacle, will not survive any semi-close scrutiny of his financials. There is no one in the KKKlown Kar, $RMoney is his own 47% toast, and looking at governors …. 000…… Seriously, there is no one there for the Republicons. Probably the first clue was when they rolled out Bob Dole at an event. Literally rolled him out.

    😀 Now, to do a gut check on daChipster. What are the odds on Senator Graham being ‘the last man standing’ at the GOP convention? I’ll give 7-3 that it could happen.

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  10. I disagree, PKM. At this point, I see Rubio as the Last Man Standing. Money is moving in his direction. He is very, very establishment in terms of policy for the Koch brothers.

    I’m a Sanders guy, because I love his message, but I don’t see him either getting the nomination or winning the election. It is Hillary. And I love a Hillary Rubio contest. She wins every time.

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  11. Juanita Jean says:

    I know it doesn’t work. I’m away from home and can’t fix it with my phone. Try this one. http://fortune.com/2015/10/30/jeb-bush-campaign-coo/

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  12. 18%? Did they look into getting George W to help on the campaign trail? That might get Jeb!’s share of the vote into single digits. Double down.

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  13. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Mark J, does that mean your taking my 7-3 odds? Agreed that Rubio now has two sugar pops, so his campaign is lush. But, sorry I wasn’t more clear about his financials; I meant his personal financials. Our little Cuban Libre has serious issues at home which will implode, if his poll numbers ever reach two digits.

    Like you, Jane and I are feeling the Bern, too. On the HRC/Bernie race, feel that’s at 50-50 now. With the current mood of the country, we think the mood favors Bernie. Some said Hillary was a lock in 2008 and that didn’t happen. If for some reason she politics her way into the nomination, we’ll vote for her. Won’t like it, but we’ll do it because the alternative, whatever it might be, is so much worse.

    Now I have a sad. 😀 Flowgo had a brilliant parody video called Hillary 2008. Seems they took it down. I’ll keep looking. It was classic.

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  14. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Found it! http://www.rulesdontapply.com/hillary2008.htm

    Classics never grow old.

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  15. Elizabeth Moon says:

    I notice that with a headline that starts off “This woman…” they show a picture of Jeb! with a major pout on. That will not shore up his campaign.

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  16. Linda Phipps says:

    Miss Lindsay for prez? Nope, but I do think that Rubio will get it by default (and bags of moolah), but then it will be between Hillary and most likely Chavez who does not look too young to buy beer for the guys. I love Bernie and his fire but Hillary has insider know-how.

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  17. JAKvirginia says:

    Poor Jeb! is caught in the middle. He’s not nasty enough for the right and not intelligent enough for the left. No good snarks and put-downs for the conservative base and no good ideas to suit the other side. And if the only thing you have is what your brother didn’t do (keep us safe) then the end is clearly near.

    Rubio: keep your eyes open. There’s real trouble brewing in his quarter. Financial and his part-time attitude towards his senatorial duties are going to hurt.

    I’ll give a guarded nod to Miss Lindsey, that is until the hot tub video surfaces.

    But truly, we just have to wait for the next episode in the soap opera As The Worms Turn.

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  18. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Linda Phipps, if being a flip flopping squish on the immigration issue doesn’t kill Rubio with Republicon voters, his ‘speed’ boat will. Particularly if it races to the front as part of his BIL’s drug operation. Marco may have the squeaky clean face of an alter boy, but he is less popular than a Marcos (Ferdinand and Imelda) in Florida. I’ll put another wager out there, 11-1 that Rubio is indicted before the Outlaw Jersey Whale.

    Elisabeth Moon, was there ever a doubt that Jeb(?) was his Mama’s boy? That face is probably the one Babs kissed when he refused to eat his vegetables.

    Linda Phipps, Chavez? or Chaffetz, as in Jason the little punter from Bang ’em Young U? AKA as political Puppy Chow.

    😀 I have another sad. Our local sports book isn’t offering betting opportunities on the Republicon horse’s butt race yet. I’d wager on Senator Graham at 100:1.

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  19. Dan Up North says:

    Not Ohio, Juanita dear, Iowa. Jeb! won’t be around for Ohio.

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  20. All this talk of betting, and the winner of the day is American Pharoah (yes, spellchecker, leave it that way), first Triple Crown winner since 1979, who easily won the Breeder’s Cup today to finish his racing career in fine style. May he live long and prosper in the breeding shed!

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  21. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Rhea, American Pharoah might change his pasture name to “Lucky Boy.” Live long and prosper, Big Boy!

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  22. Elizabeth Moon says:

    I really wanted to watch that race, but had in mind that it was in November. So missed it. Good horse. May he enjoy the perks of his position.

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  23. Ralph Wiggam says:

    PKM, have you tried this site? https://www.predictit.org/

    Odds for Ms. Graham are 96 to 4 against.

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  24. That was a great (real) horse race. American Pharoah is a great horse, almost as great Secretariat. AP is #2. They’re saying he is the first winner of the horse racing Grand Slam, Triple Crown and Breeders Cup Classic. Cool.

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  25. Old Mayfly says:

    Old news, but interesting sidelight: remember when Jeb was mismanaging Florida and the Repubs were trying to set up a rope party for Bill Clinton? in other words, “Monica, Monica, Monica?”

    At that time, both Republican and Democratic women in the FL capitol of Tallahassee (which is located in south Alabama), were well-aware of a FL state employee they referred to as “our Tallahassee Monica.”

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  26. two crows says:

    So his latest selling point to his donors is that DUBBYA’S POLL NUMBERS ARE UP.

    Wait. What?

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  27. So “at least 18% of those were drunk.” I guess that means that 82% are stupid 24//7.

    As for Bush making his campaign “lean and mean,” I suspect the mean part will be a lot easier than the lean.

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  28. AP is the first horse who could win the “Grand Slam” because there was no Breeders Cup in the 1970s.

    Another athlete who was great in his field, possibly Arnold Palmer, remarked to a noted sports writer that he had no interest in horse racing, he just turned the TV on to the Belmont race because people were talking about this horse Secretariat. “So why did I end up on my knees in front of the TV, pounding the floor and crying?” The writer replied, “Because all of your life you’ve been aiming for perfection, and you were seeing it.”

    Secretariat’s record times in all three Triple Crown races still stand after 42 years.

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  29. Prup (aka Jim Benton) says:

    On the ‘last man standing’ question, I don’t think there will be one. I think at least five people will make it to the convention with delegates, and that there won’t be anyone with a majority until the third or fourth ballot, at least, depending on the convention rules. Trump will have found an excuse to walk away, maybe even before NH, but Carlson, Rubio, Bush, Cruz, and Christie may still be around — along with, maybe, Huckabee and even Kasich. (And I still think at least one person not currently in the race will jump in, not Romney, but maybe Ryan or even John Roberts — in which case, for Roberts, he may get it on the second or even first ballot.)

    If not that, it will be a circus, and the result will be at least one third party that may do as well at the Republicans, at least in Red Territory.

    I had been thinking that Rubio would be the leader, but that was before his financial problems came out, before his voting record became an issue, and before I realized how much Bush hated him even before he basically blocked Jeb from a top slot. The Bushes are good haters, very good haters, and if Jeb is out, or hanging on, they’ll make sure that Rubio has plenty of problems, with finance raising and with leaked stories.

    It is going to be a circus, and blow a lot of minds, especially of those who didn’t even realize there could be such a thing as a multi-ballot convention — we haven’t since 1952. Now if the Democrats only see it coming and have candidates in every district, we have a good shot at winning back the House — especially if we see the third party willing to run candidates for Congress and make incumbents choose. (That’s true whether the third party is ‘sane centrist’ — Webb-Christie (or Kasich) in either order or the Limbaugh Party.)

    Whatever, barring a personal catastrophe or a ‘world-changing’ event (like a shooting war with Russia or a foreign or domestic major terrorist attack), I think we can expect to see Hillary inaugurated in January 2017.

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  30. I reckon it’s going to be Nohio for Jeb!

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  31. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Ralph Wiggam, fun and interesting site, thank you. Although we Nevadans do have our peculiarities; especially if money doesn’t exchange hands to make the wagers interesting. Despite Shelly Adelson’s ‘example’ we do believe in “placing our money where our mouth is.” Then again, the sports books aren’t much into offering odds without a significant degree of control; ie. they play to win and generally do.

    Prup (aka Jim Benton), if Lyin’ Ryan jumps in, Democrats should rejoice. While John Roberts is a non-player, unless he is dumber than I think he is. His health issue definitively disqualifies him from having his rabid little paw on the nuclear launch button.

    D’uh Arnold is endorsing Kasich. What a mensch! At least he could have shot him and be merciful about it.

    😀 Looking at the hot mess that is the Republicons, Lindsey at 100:1 is almost a tenable bet.

    Democrats rejoice! With Clinton/Sanders at 50/50, you have two viable candidates. While the ‘Cons have 21+ names and ways to spell nyet, zilch, nada, nein and oblivion.

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  32. The 1968 Democratic convention did a huge amount of damage to the party’s chances. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_Democratic_National_Convention)

    While the Republican convention might not get as violent (you never know), it sounds as though it could be just as chaotic. Could be interesting.

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  33. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    LynnN, 1968 and my parents were in high school. But my Grandfather has explained the times to me.

    The mood of the country is different this time. Much of it depends on whether the voters are too angry to vote or are sufficiently angry to vote in record numbers.

    As for the RNC nominating convention? We could see Jeb(?) and Lindsey supporters squabbling on the convention floor with pool noodles, or T-Rump and Mental Ben supporters going full out Pet-Scan as to the most insane.

    But I’ll take any and all wagers these 2nd Amendment Republicons will never allow their supporters to carry concealed or otherwise within 5 miles of them.

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  34. e platypus onion says:

    John Roberts of the Scotus has less chance of getting the nomination than Obama would if he jumped parties. Wingnuts all over America feel betrayed by Roberts support of the ACA.

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  35. Old Mayfly says:

    I would question the sanity of any Supreme Court Justice who would give up the job to run for POTUS.

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  36. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    e platypus onion, SCROTUS John has bigger issues than being occasionally sane. The fact is that he is medically unqualified. His seizure disorder would disqualify him from driving in most states. Too many Republicons would lurch to the nuclear button with malice aforethought. John could ‘incidentally’ fall on it.

    To be clear, I support Americans with disabilities. However, I have reservations about the blind bearing arms and John Roberts in any position he could harm himself and others.

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  37. UmptyDump says:

    Bush’s campaign COO was a woman named Christine Ciccone, who was pulling down 12 grand a month. A Washington conservative insider and GWB administration alum. So much for principles (of course, the Jeb⁉️ campaign doesn’t have much in the way of principles). It’s about the money. Ciccone is in it for the bucks and is off in search of greener pastures. Maybe she can latch on to Ted Cruz and drain his piggy bank for awhile.

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  38. Lunargent says:

    Chinese Algebra – is that like Pai Gow?

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  39. Lunargent says:

    I wouldn’t discount Rubio. Those schoolboy dimples conceal the heart and skills of an assassin. And murky financials are pretty much par for the course in Florida, yes?

    And despite showing no aptitude whatever for anything except trashing the media and shoving his very prominent beak up Trump’s butt, Cruz is still polling respectably.

    Somebody’s gotta shake out at some point. But considering how irredeemably awful the front runners are, you really can’t blame the rest of the pack for staying in. Who wouldn’t look at Trump or Carson and think, “Hey, I’m a lot better choice than THAT guy!”?

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  40. e platypus onion says:

    PKM-every wingnut has a seizure disorder. They see money they seize it and then give it to the koch bros.

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  41. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    e platypus onion, “every wingnut has a seizure disorder. They see money they seize it and then give it to the koch bros.” Very true, but the issue with Roberts is that he could literally have a seizure and flop on the nuclear button.

    Lunargent “Hey, I’m a lot better choice than THAT guy!”? That says it all and it’s all the ‘Cons have. Better than ____ (fill in the blank at your own risk of Mama and her soap.)

    As for the polls and pollsters, good grief ‘Cons, enter the 21st century and move away from the Fox Not the News and the marginal old cranky white dudes with land lines.

    In a nutshell, Mental Ben and T-Rump have a combined 40% of the Iowa Cornflab Caucus. Same bunch of dingleberrys who supported Santorum, Bachmann and Huckajeebus.

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  42. e platypus onion says:

    Roberts can’t be any worse than “Nukular” Ronnie Raisin.

    https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=land%20of%20confusion%20video

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  43. Prup (aka Jim Benton) says:

    Hadn’t known about Roberts’ seizure problem. Okay, that rules him out, but I still think there is at least someone who will jump in.

    I’ll admit that I don’t have all my attention on politics right now. I just want to say to the Astros fans out there that we can be equally proud of having very good teams beaten by what might be the best over all team I have seen in my long years of baseball watching. Not the best players, by far, but the best team as a unit.

    My compliments to the Royals.

    And for the first time I wish I were on twitter, so I could send
    “Dear Matt: You are paid for throwing the ball. You do it very well, but Terry is paid to manage.”
    and
    “Dear Terry: You are the one paid to make decisions. Do it.”

    Back to politics later today — here in the East.

    *sniff*

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  44. I’m curious what they are thinking about Cruz in Texas.
    He is the one that worries me. He is such a snake I can see him slithering past the others and being the nominee.
    What do the rest of you think?

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  45. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Diane, think of Fiorina as the 2/3 candidate. She’s old and white, but doesn’t score 100% on the manly part. Carson, Cruz and Rubio fail on the white element of Republicon eligibility. Cruz also loses a load of points for being totally loathed by Dee Cee Republicons. You rightly see Cruz as a slithering snake, but the problem for him is that those who will be behind the scenes brokering the nomination process also see him as a slithering snake.

    Maybe Kasich by default? Ohio knows he’s a rat, but maybe the rest of the country doesn’t. Yet. Nice thing about social media; the word spreads fast.

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  46. WA Skeptic says:

    I agree; why should a sitting Supreme Court Justice give up his cushy position to actually have to deal with world problems? Just look at how the position of POTUS ages (most) of the occupants of the job. Of course, that doesn’t apply to St Ronnie; he was so totally non compos that he didn’t have to worry about anything anyway.

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  47. fran seyer says:

    But Jebbie has the “fix”……….

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  48. e platypus onion says:

    If Obie said he had the fix,wingnuts would investigate him for drugs and also for being a pimp bedause he dresses better than wingnuts do.

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  49. Jeb’s managing his fixes well. Now he chews nails in the morning before breakfast. This fixes two things as he had to fire the campaign manicurist and relieving his stress cuts back on the Valium.

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