She Wouldn’t Be Stable Even If You Mounted Her On a Tripod

October 05, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, Caryl Fiorina makes my skin crawl.  She creeps me out.

She did it again. She was in New Hampshire answering questions from voters.  A member of the military asked how serious she was about fighting ISIS.

“Finally my degree in medieval history and philosophy has come in handy,” Fiorina said Sunday night, “because what ISIS wants to do is drive us back to the Middle Ages, literally.”

Isn’t that a whole lot like saying that you can see Russia from your front porch?

UnknownPressed to explain how her bachelor’s degree in medieval history will help her in dealing with ISIS, Fiorina listed off a number of brutal techniques that ISIS is using that were common in medieval times and said it is not an exaggeration to say that the group is operating under a mentality based in the Middle Ages.

“Every single one of the techniques that ISIS is using, the crucifixion, the beheadings, the burning alive, those were commonly used techniques in the Middle Ages,” Fiorina told reporters.

Duh, Honey, so your answer to fighting ISIS is the black plague, the printing press, and the Hundred Years War?

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “She Wouldn’t Be Stable Even If You Mounted Her On a Tripod”


  1. I think the Hundred Years War got started when Bush stirred the pot in the Middle East by invading Iraq

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  2. Sam in San Antonio says:

    So she’s an expert in ISIS atrocities because of her knowledge of what her faith did in the past?

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  3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Keep babbling, Carly. When it comes time for you or any of the Republicon candidates to step onto a real debate stage with Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders, what happened to you in the race with Senator Boxer will make Custer’s Last Stand look like a love fest.

    Oh the metaphors, if it’s a Carly vs Senator/Secretary Clinton debate. HRC would eat her Gnarly Purina Chow, then make her sweep the floor of the carnage. Cat fight? Nah. A real lioness vs a paper tiger.

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  4. Susan on the Left Coast says:

    Much like Condoleeza Rice qualified for Secretary of State via her degrees in music & the extinct soviets. But since GW was ga-ga over her, hey! Bonus, the Navy gave a new ship her name.

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  5. Snarly Failurina said WHAT?

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  6. I’m from Semiconductor land, and let me tell you she’s made no friends at Lucent and HP.

    But, these days she’s doing herself no favors.

    We didn’t vote for Barach Obama because he was black, sorry Ben Carson, and we won’t vote for a woman just to get a woman in the white house, sorry Caryl. We’re a little smarter then that, but then again you are used to Republican voters of late.

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  7. Annabelle Lee says:

    Don’t forget the horse collar.

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  8. JAKvirginia says:

    Ever wonder what Ted Cruz would look like in drag? Now ya know.

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  9. WashPost report today says that when her political adviser died a month before her last election attempt, she stiffed his widow $30,000 for a few years, until she started running for president. Left a lot of other debts hanging too. She repaid herself $1.25 million right on time, though.

    Now she blames “the left and their allies in the media” for the report. Yeah, the media wrote the report, but you did the sleaze.

    Not to mention the repeated lies about Planned Parenthood, even after the lies had been pointed out. She wasn’t mistaken, she didn’t “mis-speak,” she just flat-out lied over and over.

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  10. Today is my birthday y’all. Unfortunately I’ve got a nasty cold but I just had to come by the Salon for a good laugh and and a dose of sanity to make me feel better! Thanks JJ for lifting my spirits today!!

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  11. Juanita Jean says:

    Happy Birthday, Adrian! Glad we made you laugh.

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  12. shortpeople says:

    This is like saying learning to type on a manual Underwood qualified her to make good judgements about acquiring a company that made obsolete hardware (Compaq/Digital Equipment Corp.)

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  13. daChipster says:

    Happy Birthday Adrian! Here’s my gift: I wouldn’t mount Carly Fiorina with your tripod!

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  14. Old Mayfly says:

    The most important lesson to be learned from Middle Ages history is that Church/State combination is a bad idea and not congruent with a democratic republic.

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  15. What’s she going to do, challenge them to a joust?

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  16. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Happy Birthday Adrian!

    daChipster, true brithday gift for Adrian and a gift to all of us would have been not conjuring up that image. Get your metaphors straight, man. It’s putting lipstick on a pig, not poking it.

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  17. Linda Phipps says:

    Fiorina has no chance, frankly she has the charisma of a dead python.

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  18. Texas Expat in CA says:

    Old Mayfly has it right! Too many in the Religious Right are all for theocracy, as long as it’s THEIR guys making the rules. Separation of government and religion is necessary for a true democracy.

    BTW, the CIA’s favorite torture (excuse me, that’s “enhanced interrogation”) technique, waterboarding, still defended by Dubya and Cheney, was commonly used in the Inquisition. Our country’s hands aren’t 100% clean.

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  19. Snarly’s idea of answering a question is to talk around it until the questioner’s eyes turn glassy and everybody else just wants to get away from her. That and lying.

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  20. Happy birthday to you, Adrian, and may you have many more.

    I spent a lot of time in California when Snarly was running against Barbara Boxer for senator and read/heard a lot about her; it wasn’t pretty. Remember her “Demon Sheep” ad, which will go down in history as one of the worst political ads evers. Almost none of the HP employees liked her and when it was announced she was leaving HP, it was reported the buildings almost shook from the employees celebrating.

    She seems like the type of person who would enjoy pulling other people’s fingernails out.

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  21. Larry from Colorado says:

    Sorry, Juanita, but I agree with Carly on this one. The militant Islamists literally want to take us back to the middle ages when Mohammad was alive, but, being hypocrites, they want to use 21st century methods to do it.

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  22. Larry from Colorado says:

    June: I just watched the PBS news and the man who created the “Demon sheep” ad referred to it, and they showed parts of it.

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  23. RepubAnon says:

    @ Larry from Colorado: Yep, Carly’s right – the ISIS folks want to take us back to the Middle Ages, and bring back all the tortures their ancestors learned from the Crusaders.

    Of course, this is also the goal of today’s Republican Party. What it really comes down to is that the Republicans are jealous of ISIS.

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  24. Don’t you just love the way some people have of responding but never telling you a blessed thing or even on topic? My kids used to do that. Then they grew up.

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  25. @Texas Expat, I saw somewhere recently that Fiorina is yay in favor of waterboarding, so she’d fit right in with Cheney & Dubya. I can’t remember a single good and likable thing I’ve read about this woman. She’s a woman, but so is Coulter supposed to be, and she’s an even worse waste of protoplasm.

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  26. UmptyDump says:

    As a scholar, Carly doesn’t even rise to the level of Mel Brooks. There was plenty of cruelty to go around in those days.

    http://www.lyricsmania.com/the_inquisition_lyrics_mel_brooks.html

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  27. Send in the nuns!
    Thanks for the link to the lyrics and video, UmptyDump.
    The only things missing were the Repugs and Westboro Baptists.

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  28. Fred Farklestone says:

    Maybe Carly needs to read up on the Catholic Crusades! These years make ISIS and the Middle Ages look like the minor leagues!

    http://www.truthbeknown.com/victims.htm

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  29. Lunargent says:

    So THAT’S why she didn’t pay all those campaign workers and vendors: her operative economic model is Feudalism. Hie thee hence, varlets!

    I think I’m going with Snarly FreakinMeanGirl.

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