Riddle Me This
Most of y’all know about Texas’ own Republican State Representative Debbie Riddle, our own version of The Church Lady, inventor of the whole terror baby thing, who thinks about transgender people way too much, who slept in the hall for three days so she could be the first to file an anti-immigrant bill, and has been known to give speeches at funeral homes.
Well, if you thought she was rightwing as could possibly be, you have another think coming from a lady named Valoree Swanson. Valoree is a Tea Party candidate running against Debbie in the GOP primary. She has a website. Well, I guess a webpage would be more accurate since there’s only one page to it. But she’s a star on Facebook, Honey.
She calls her campaigning activities, “Liberty Blockwalks,” and if you’re low on I Hate Hillary materials, she’s the one-stop shop for that. Honey, this woman is just one suitcase filled with snarks from heading to Oregon.
But here’s the scary part.
She’s obviously a shirt-swiper.
Debbie Riddle in her campaign shirt
And then this —
Valor Swanson’s campaign shirt
There could not possibly be more than one of the shirts.
Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.
Wow! Two fashion mavens competing for the same office. That should be fun.
1Please tell me they wore that same shirt to the same party! I wanna know what happened next!
2Perhaps these two ladies were in the same sorority or scout troop or cult.
Or those may be for the evening wear segment of the Miss American NutJob pageant.
3… my eyes … my ears … cannot do this again. Seems too much like a replay of the snacilbupeR primary between Sue Lowden and Sharron Angle, when those two delusional ninnies tried to out right ruck each other. Sue wanted Nevadans to barter for their health care with chickens. Sharron had a 2nd Amendment solution to everything. It was so confusing that I thought I was supposed to sit a chicken on my doctor’s head, then shoot it.
4I believe they stole them from David Barton’s closet.
5But does she have the cowgirl jeans and the buckle? It’s really all about the entire look. And what about boots? Are they both wearing approved cowgirl boots?
6Ms. Riddle’s shirt is way too big for her, much like her estimation of herownself. Beware of people wearing stars and blocks. Something just ain’t right.
7One of those gals better quick move into a home that’s a replica of The Alamo, to get some extra traction this election.
8As one who makes a living teaching fashion, it warms my heart that so many notable people are using it to help sell themselves to the unwashed mob. I just wish they had a better understanding of how what they wear projects what they are.
9…Or maybe they do. I suppose their choices reflect at least what they want to be.
But it is still irksome to see some of the getups they wear!
Valoree? Seriously?
All I can think of is a Bloom County cartoon when a boy meets his divorced dad’s bimbo date, who introduces herself as “Candee with two e’s,” and he replies that he’s “appalled with two p’s.”
They tell us everything’s bigger in Texas. That is not always a good thing.
10You can buy your very own TX flag shirt online. I will not post a link but just use your friend Mr. Google and you can find it quite easily. If I wanted to honor my TX ancestry (which goes back to around 1820), I would vote for Molly Ivins in a field of bluebonnets.
The good news in my own state of CA is that this trend is unlikely ever to take place with our Bear flag, as it would look just like the Cal t-shirts and thus would offend the UC-Irvine anteaters, the UC-Santa Cruz banana slugs, not to mention the Stanford Tree. Beware the Tree!
11Nah. Go to Cavender’s website. You can buy yours for $50.
12https://www.cavenders.com/western/women/ladies-shirts-apparel/western-shirts/01850201NA?cid=reco-_-product-detail-_-reco-2
Cheryl, cantcha order one ‘o them shirts with two of them big star-shaped pastie things?
13Well… since they look like flags I say we run ’em up the pole and see who salutes. Any takers?
14Sadly both shirts are filled with hatred.
15UD, you can order big glitter ones from Amazon for $10. I didn’t post the link because I did not want Mama clicking on it.
16Hey, us UC Santa Cruz Slugs are really laid back; we don’t care if you wear any shirt (or none) at all.
Slime ’em, Slugs!
17If they made shirts of the Maryland state flag, we could definitely be found in the dark:
http://www.cafepress.com/+state_flag_of_maryland_toddler_all_over_print_tee,1533499677
18WA Skeptic, we used to live across from a small grocery store which had a sign: “We welcome your business regardless of what you’re wearing– or not wearing!” Triumph of hope over experience, I think.
19Dang! All the rightwing is into fashion … Cruz and his $600 dollar tractor shirt, Rubio’s nifty booties, and now the ladeez in their over the tackytop hideoso blouses. I will stick to my basic neutrals, with a few rhinestones, thank you, and vote blue.
20Rhea: I think our Maryland state flag is booteeful. I just don’t know which corner goes up by the pulley. It would look great on the roof of a car, like the stars and bars on the ol’ Robert E. Lee the Duke boys rode around in.
21This is a hilarious example of the law of unintended consequences. They gerrymandered themselves into “safe” districts. “I’m a Republican, everybody in my district is a Republican, what could possibly go wrong?” Primary from the right, that’s what. It just keeps getting crazier and crazier, and less productive. Did you hear about the highway funding to complete the 1604-281N flyover so people could actually get to work and back? How about a new initiative to make Texas schools the best in the world? Nope? Well, at least we got open carry. That’ll solve all our problems.
22Has anyone ever seen them at the same place at the same time OTHER than Clark Kent and Superman?
Anyone? Anyone?
23Which one of them is Garth Brooks?
24My husband has one of those shirts. His mom gave it to him.
25I remember our former governor wearing one of these…are they unisex or did he buy the female shirt ?
26I think there is an old song we sang in Girl Scouts–
Valoreeeee, Valoraaaaa, Valoreeeee, Valorahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha– anyone spells their name like that had an illiterate for a parent. Sad, really.
27Dang, I shoulda got here earlier. Y’all got all my good lines. Anyway, you can get those shirts at any self-respecting tourist shop along with a vest and earrings made with feathers. They prolly also have recipe books on how to cook over a campfire. This is Tayuksis.
28She also looks ‘photoshopped’ to me – (shadows)
29