Republicans: Taking the Hoo out of Hoochy

February 28, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republicans are running on a ticket of making sex less fun.  I know that seems unwise as a campaign strategy but it beats the hell outta doing away with the Department of Homeland Security.

philrobertson__131223014428Duck Dynasty Love Interest Phil Robertson spoke to CPAC yesterday and was mostly concerned with sex.  It seems that the “hippies and the beatniks” newest “revenge” is STIs.  I probably need to remind you at this point that Phil Robertson says he’s sober.  We only have his word for that because there is no physical proof.

Then he started yelling that the Constitution was written for a “religious and moral people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.”

“You know what’s happened GOP? We’ve got too many any-others in the White House. It wasn’t written for them,” Robertson said to applause. “It wasn’t written for them.”

If you can understand that, you’re drunk.

And then, to make their point a little sharper, Republicans in South Carolina make you sign a pledge before you can run on the Republican ticket.

Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.

Since it’s South Carolina I suspect there was a misprint.  It was supposed to say “with a family member” at the end.

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34 Comments to “Republicans: Taking the Hoo out of Hoochy”


  1. It sounds to me like someone playing to “last place aversion.” As long as there’s someone below you in society’s hierarchy, you can feel better about yourself – at least you’re not in last place.

    As Lyndon Johnson famously observed: “If you can convince the lowest white man that he’s better than the highest black man, you can pick his pocket…”

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  2. So he says he’s not drunk. If so, that’s sad, since it means he can’t sober up and get rational.

    While the authors of the Constitution had many virtues, they sure as hell did not have all of them. Franklin played around a little (or a lot). There was that slavery thing. And women not having legal equality or being allowed to vote.

    The biggest flaw in the Constitution is that it originally was not written for all us “any-others” who also lived in this country. Fortunately it has improved over time–unlike Robertson, who continues to regress.

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  3. The problem that Republicans have with sex is the same one that they have with science. It does not conform to rightwing ideology.

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  4. JAKvirginia says:

    As for South Carolina, I have just two things to say: Mark Sanford.

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  5. If you can understand that then you’re a standard issue southern racist.

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  6. That Other Jean says:

    So the Laurens County, South Carolina Republican Party wants to make it clear to primary voters that 95% of their candidates are lying to them from the get-go?

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  7. Lorraine in Spring says:

    “Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.”

    Seriously? The Republican Party? Newt Gingrich, Rudy Guiliani, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh…. That Party?

    So what they’re saying is SC will become is permanent Dem state since no one in the Republican Party can meet the new qualification?

    Good Grief.

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  8. @ Lorraine in Spring: The Laurens County Republican Party isn’t concerned about premarital sex – what they’re testing is a candidate’s ability to tell a bald-faced lie convincingly. This is, of course, the single most important skill of a Republican candidate – and one they must have to get elected. After all, when’s the last time that a Republican candidate was successfully elected afterly clearly stating what will happen if that candidate wins the election?

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  9. Any-others – the new code word for non-white?

    Hippies were in the 1960’s – beatniks were in the 1950’s. Why is he worried about what a bunch of people in their 60’s – 80’s are doing?

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  10. “…and that you will never ever look at porn AGAIN”? So they’re making the assumption that this is something you’ve engaged in frequently before. Hmm…..

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  11. And another thing. Phil believes in marrying girls when they’re 14 or 15. Get ’em before they have any STD’s, ya know.

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  12. There must have been a few drunks there to listen to this old codger and hoochie mama palin!

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  13. US Constitution, Article 6, paragraph 3:

    “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

    Any of you yahoos in the GOP ever read or counted that far?

    And anybody else notice that this Duck yahoo looks a lot like the images of Old Testament prophets who foamed at the mouth a lot and went around condemning people? I don’t want to think about how they smelled.

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  14. PLEASE, everybody, read Jefferson’s Draft version of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom. Pass it around on social media. Let’s educate those idiots who keep talking about a Christian Nation and our christian “founding fathers”.
    When Hamilton was asked about why Jesus was not mentioned in the constitution. He replied that “we just didn’t think about it”. Very important to them, huh?

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  15. Unfortunately there are many men on both sides of the political spectrum who can’t seem to keep their pants zipped. And a few women, like a governor I could name.

    Does this non-commitment to their spouses say something about commitment to other principles? Or is it a general lack of morality? Or maybe it’s their only failing? Maybe we just have to look at the whole picture, since there are so many of them. But I realize for many of us it is part of the picture, especially if there’s hypocrisy, like Gingrich about Clinton.

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  16. These people have been shoved into the face of America’s voters for years.

    And for years…..I have tried…. unsuccessfully…. to figure out the obsession that some people have…. with the sex lives… of total strangers.

    Darndest thing ever.

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  17. Well, he does look like an angry hippie and his advice is guaranteed to spread herpes so maybe he is telling us something.

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  18. A little off subject, but those who want a Christian nation, what kind do they want? The state church in Massachusetts hanged Quakers. The state church in Virginia imprisoned Baptist preachers. I’m Christian, but don’t want government dictating what kind of Christian I must be, and that would happen.

    Our freedom of religion here may get messy at times, like whether a Muslin woman can wear a hijab to work as in a case before the Supreme Court now. But I’d rather allow others to practice their religion and let me practice mine as I wish.

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  19. Corinne Sabo says:

    If he thinks he’s God, that is a good reason to be agnostic.

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  20. innerlooper says:

    An interesting observation ..

    As Lyndon Johnson famously observed: “If you can convince the lowest white man that he’s better than the highest black man, you can pick his pocket…” ..

    GOP policy stolen from a Demo bully.

    Where’s our 1% teddy-bear

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  21. Aggieland Liz says:

    @Cheryl-I’m pretty sure Quack-man means “non-whites and females” by any others! These jokers could put one off old white men for life, and I know some splendid old white men!

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  22. I’m still stuck on “Duck Dynasty Love Interest”. J.J. you get the prize for that. Can’t stop laughing.

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  23. When I see him, which I try to keep rare as possible, I have only one thing to say:

    Eeeeuwww!

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  24. Al Alvarez says:

    If I am not mistaken, the S.C. pledge was copied from the Taliban pledge…except the S.C. pledge left out the watching porn with goats part!

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  25. Doesn’t an interest in porn directly lead to “interest of sex by total strangers” ? It would seem to be the same thing.

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  26. Elizabeth Moon says:

    That guy is disgusting. Look at him: he looks like a thug.

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  27. When do we get to start the countdown towards the date when Phil Robertson will be caught with a teenage boy in a by-the-hour motel?

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  28. Rubymay says:

    What a wonderful hero for the CPAC folk. Here we have a dirty old man who is doubtless worth millions — a hypocrite, a misogynist, a bigot and racist, and the stupid masses bow down and worship. I see a bum who is concerned only with how much money he can make with his costume and how much he can savor his own pornographic life. Excuse me now, I have to go throw up. Eeewwww!

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  29. Aw, shucks! Holy Appalachian Trail, people!

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  30. Mark Schlemmer says:

    We better be careful. Next thing you know they will be taking the “Ho” out of Homo and the “ass” out of Christmas. Then what have you got?

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  31. e platypus onion says:

    Apologies in advance,but Robertson hears the word hoedown he thinks his latest teen love interest has been shot.

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  32. “based on data from 2010 and 2012 Centers for Disease Control & Prevention studies, it’s the Southeast . The rates in states like Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Alabama are much higher than in the rest of the country when it comes to chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis — although AIDS in particular is more prevalent in the Northeast.”

    One contest Texas did not win.

    Dear God these people are crazy.

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  33. Every time I see that Duck Dynasty man I wonder where I can send a bar of soap and a package of razor blades.

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  34. I can understand that perfectly. It means: The sheriff is a ni-CLANG!

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