Yeah, Woman!, Start Talking!

January 28, 2015

Sometimes you just have to love Aladamnbama.

Birmingham Democratic State Representative Patricia Todd, who is gay, has decided to “out” some of her fellow lawmakers.  But not the gay ones.  She’s putting a whole new twist on this game.

Republicans in Alabama went into turbo hate mode last week when a federal judge overturned Alabama’s ban on same-sex marriages.  Republican lawmakers all went to the courthouse and tried to change their legal names to Family Freekin’ Values and Mrs. Family Freekin’ Values.

PatriciaToddState Rep. Todd said, “Oh, really now?”

“It is pretty well known that we have people in Montgomery who are or have had affairs …” Todd told the TimesDaily this morning. “I just want them to be careful what they’re saying, some of it might come back to stick on them.”

Yeah, this might get sticky, but it’s gonna be real interesting.

Thanks to John for the heads up.

He’s Everywhere! He’s Everywhere! Louie Grabs the Microphone and Starts Primal Screaming.

January 28, 2015

Louie Gohmert, y’all.  His middle name is Cringe.

He had himself a busy little day yesterday.  First, he went all Bibi and started hitting things with his Bible.

The Texas congressman said that since Netanyahu’s upcoming address to Congress “is important for eternity,” Obama’s decision not to meet with the Israeli leader might bring about the judgment of God: “There is judgment that will come for nations that attempt to divide the nation of Israel and this White House seems determined to do that.”

Look, here’s how I see it.  God already gave us eight years of George Bush and Dick Cheney so anything he does after that will look like he’s just jacking around.

I also know something that Netanyahu apparently doesn’t.  The only reason Louie wants a strong Israel is so that God can destroy it and kill all the Jews while Louie watches.  It’s kinda like Louie wants to build a Lego tower so that God can knock it down.  Apparently that doesn’t bother Netanyahu right before an election.

And then, since he had a little air left over, he decides to go after women and, at the same time, fill the vacuum of leadership in the pro-rape lobby.

Gohmert then said that Republican women split the caucus by opposing the language on the rape exception. He said that opposition to the bill should have been voiced before the legislation made it to the House floor.

“I’m told that they’re still going to bring it back, but because there was such division among our Republican females, they pulled the bill that day,” he said. “And that was extremely unfortunate, and it sent the entirely wrong message.”

Our Republican females.  What, Louie?  Have you got binders full of them or something?

Look, I know that Louie is about twenty years, three sermons, and half a dozen NFL ball deflations beyond caring about hoochy-koochy, but I can guarantee you that he’s ain’t getting no nookie for the entire rest of his life.  Seriously, women, write it on bathrooms walls:  No nookie for the bald and ignorant guy from East Texas.  Of course, I know that counts for 70% of the  men in East Texas, but trust me, that’s really okay.

I was hoping for a trifecta before the sun went down last night, but apparently Louie needed a nap.

LouieGohmert_iDork_1a

Thanks to everybody for threads up and John for the cool graphic.

Hell, Yes!

January 27, 2015

A quickie!

Rick Perry loses second request to dismiss the felony indictment against him.

 

Golf is Just Football With More White Guys

January 27, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 1.23.19 PM

 

Fore!  Old White Dude playing through.

Fun With Guns: Canned Goods and Fanny Pack Edition

January 27, 2015

A Minnesota man shot himself in the leg at Rainbow Foods.

Police are not sure how the gun discharged. There is no indication that this is anything other than an accident.

No one else was injured.

Police say the man has a conceal and carry permit.

I might can help with this.  The gun discharged when the trigger was pulled.

And in Pittsburg, a man’s gun fell out of his open fanny pack (seriously) at the Giant Eagle grocery store and injured two elderly shoppers.

TribLIVE reported that when officers arrived, Good immediately told them that it was his gun that fell out of a fanny pack and accidentally went off.

The gun is registered to Good, who has a permit to carry the weapon.

Guns don’t kill people – people with concealed carry permits kill people.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Meet The Trump.

January 27, 2015

Hey, I’m no big fan of Chuck Todd, but ….

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 10.50.04 AM

 

…. at least he can speak English.

Yeah, Trump, The Apprentice carries much more gravitas.