Friday Toons

March 27, 2015

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Clay Bennett editorial cartoon

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Clay Bennett editorial cartoon

 

That Whole WWW Thing

March 26, 2015

Rabid homophobe Idaho Republican State Rep Paul Shepherd forgot to renew his website name.  Major mistake.

A college student bought it and … well, had some fun.  PaulShepherdUSA.com

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In response to the website takeover, Shepherd is quoted as telling Idaho Public TV’s Melissa Davlin, “Slave owners were very good Christians and good people. …[Slave owners] weren’t terrible rotten horrible people, and that’s how I see gay people.”

Meanwhile, Hailey told Vice he’d eventually return to the site to Shepherd if the congressman made a donation to an LGBT advocacy group.

Some days are good days.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

Yeah, But I Think She Would

March 26, 2015

Okay, I will admit that I’m a moderate fan of Yoga.  It’s not something I do everyday, but it’s something I do.

It has not led me to the devil.  As of yet.

Suzanne Duarte was not so lucky.

Screen Shot 2015-03-26 at 11.09.29 AMShe took it upon herself to burn down the American Power Yoga Studio in Dallas.  She used a baseball bat and a can of gasoline.  Yeah, I don’t get the baseball bat either.  Maybe she was going to use it as a torch.  I dunno.

Suzanne (who also goes by Nancy) says she is smiling in her mug shot because she was happy to get even.  She did not like one of the men who owns the studio.

“He kept hitting on me and kept trying to make me the girlfriend on the side,” Duarte claimed about one of the men.

On Saturday, Duarte says she waited until it was late so no one would be at the studio.
“Just to set it on fire, just destroy it, get rid of the devil’s temple,” Duarte said.

She was unsuccessful and none of the other businesses in the strip shopping center were damaged.  Thank God.  Or the Devil.  Seriously, I have no idea who to thank.

Here’s the fun part.  The Yoga studio has been under new management since November and they had no idea about the dispute between Duarte and the previous owner.

Nonetheless, Duarte says the only regret she has is that the studio didn’t burn.

Anyway, she’s in jail.  Smiling.  And hoping.

Duarte is being held on a $16,000 bond. She says if she gets out, she will not try to burn down the studio again.

I don’t believe her.

Namaste, y’all.

Making Arkansas Safe For Women

March 26, 2015

I really cannot think of what to say.

UnknownRep. Brandt Smith, R-Jonesboro, filed HB 1762, which would make female genital mutilation a Class felony.

“It’s happening in the United States — not neccessarliy yet in Arkansas, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t in the future,” said Smith, who said Rep. Mary Bentley, R-Perryville, brought the idea to him because she had her hands full with other bills.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has estimated that at least 150,000 to 200,000 girls in the U.S. are at risk of undergoing the procedure, which is common in much of Africa.

Smith said that if the practice does surface in Arkansas, “we’d like to be ready with some policy already to help our judges know what we would expect in a ruling.”

Ya know, up until I read this, I didn’t know that females were allowed to have genitals in Arkansas.

Seriously, does Arkansas have laws against foot binding?  You never know when that’s gonna sneak up and get ya.  How about laws against burning witches?  Got some?  Ya got laws against holding entire court sessions in Klingon?  You never know.

I think Brandt just wanted to say “female genital” a bunch of times.  He lists his religion as “Southern Baptist” so that’s probably a phrase he doesn’t get to say out loud very much.

Well, it’s that or Mary was just jacking with him.

Hey!

March 26, 2015

I do not know who sent me Larry King’s book that’s signed and everything, because the bookshop did not include a card.

But, whoever it is, I love you!  It will hold a special place on my Texas books bookshelf.  It’s been 30 years since I read it and it deserves another reading.

Fess up so I can hug you.

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As I recall, the book was a thousand times better than the movie.

Get The Hell Outta My Uterus

March 26, 2015

I swear on a stack of pancakes that Republican men are too damn concerned about my uterus.  It edges on being pornographic.

First they want to make me have babies, then they want to keep me from having babies.

Make up your damn mind, Republican Men, because my uterus ain’t gonna tend to itself, you know.

Screen Shot 2015-03-26 at 9.25.52 AMArkansas Republican State Rep. Kim Hammer (consider that fair warning) is menacingly opposed to all taxpayer funded health care or birth control except

Rep. Kim Hammer, R-Benton, filed HB 1868, under which an unwed mother of one child who is receiving Medicaid benefits would receive reimbursement from the state Medicaid program for the cost of implanting a contraceptive device that is effective for five years or longer.

“Often young people make decisions and they get a sense that they don’t want to make that decision again for a while. We need to give them a little bit of a breather to think about their life decisions that are affecting us as taxpayers,” Hammer said.

So, unwed women can’t have birth control that lasts for a year or two but holy saint of hoochy above, they can get free birth control if they’ll have babies according to Mr. Hammer’s schedule.  And God forbid that we give her control over her birth … control?  It’s Hammer Control, bygawd!

And married women?  They need to keep pumping out those babies.