Holy Crap: Scott Walker is Listening Edition

February 25, 2015

Governor Scott Walker made a semi-famous quote that got the attention of the Freedom from Religion Foundation.

I’m still trying to decipher if this is God’s calling. You’ve got to be crazy to want to be president of the United States. You’ve got to be crazy. To look at what it does to a person and a family, you’ve got to be crazy. But you should only do it if you feel that God’s called you to get in there and make a difference.”

The Foundation filed a public information request from Walker’s office for evidence of his communications with the Lord — and his office replied, officially, that it could find none.

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.

Walker’s campaign slogan:  God Says I’m Crazy!

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Not To Be Outdone By Debbie Riddle

February 25, 2015

Texas State Representative Donna Campbell is living testimony that Debbie Riddle is not hogging all the lame butt ignorance in the Texas Lege.

The Alamo has been nominated to be included in the United Nation’s list of World Heritage Sites.  There are currently 22 such sites in the United States, including the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty, Independence Hall, Monticello, and the Great Smokey Mountains.   So, it’s kinda an honor to be included.

Unless you’re Donna Campbell, who sees a plot behind including the Alamo.  But, Donna got a pen and wrote a bill to stop this foolishness.

“The intent of this bill, Senate Bill 191, is to prevent vesting any ownership, control, or management of the Alamo to a foreign company or any entity formed under the laws of another country,” Campbell said.

Yep – there will Sharia Law at the Alamo if those United Nations folks notice that the Alamo exists.

campbellThe State of Texas owns the Alamo.  And, ironically enough, it got famous by being invaded by a foreign country and losing.

So, during committee hearing on the bill, Representative Campbell was asked if she knew of any other Heritage sites in the United States.  She admitted that she didn’t.  But that doesn’t matter because ….

“I can tell you anything that starts with the ‘UN’ gives me cause for concern,” Campbell said.

Yeah like unreasonable, uneducated, unbelievable, uncompromising, uncouth …

Thanks to TexasEllen for the heads up.


February 25, 2015

Nobody can be born this dumb.  I am certain that it just had to require an operation.

Texas State Representative Debbie Riddle, a woman frighteningly over-concerned with your genitals, filed a bill in the Texas House that says

… anyone over the age of 13 in a public facility of “a gender that is not the same gender as the individual’s gender” should be convicted of a class-A misdemeanor, and spend up to one year in jail and be fined $4,000. Riddle’s proposed law carves out exemptions for custodians, those helping children, or those responding to a medical emergency.

Her goal is to keep transgendered people from peeing.  Anywhere, anytime.


Debbie Riddle: Can You Guess the Gender?

And since it would be easier to teach a mermaid to do the splits than to identity a transgender person with their clothes on, I suspect some sort of nudity check would be involved at the bathroom door.  I can guarantee you this: I am not showing Debbie Riddle my nudity.

Debbie wants to use your DNA to confirm your gender.  I do not know if this would require a DNA testing center outside of every bathroom or if you can just get a DNA ID card for bathroom privileges.

I suspect that Debbie hasn’t thought this out either.

That’s Debbie over there in a helmet.  She had her picture taken when she went to South Texas to hunt for terror babies.  I have no idea what she plans to wear to hunt transgendered people.

Happy Birthday, Bud!

February 24, 2015

Our #1 Customer and favorite Democrat of all time, Bud Malone, is turns 92 years old today.

I wish he lived closer so I could go split a Margarita with him.  We’re going to shut down the shop for the rest of the day and ask folks to donate $10. to the striking union workers in Bud’s honor.

Everybody wish this happy warrior a happy birthday!

Love ya, Bud!


Bobby Jindal, Bless His Heart

February 24, 2015

The new “Bless His Heart” was Rudy Giuliani’s comment of “I know this is horrible to say, but ….” and then he says something totally horrible.

And then on Monday morning, Bobby Jindal stands in front of the White House and says …

Obama is “unfit to be commander in chief” based on his refusal to commit resources needed to defeat and kill radical Islamic terrorists.

“I take no joy in saying that,” Jindal said after he and other governors met with the president for nearly 90 minutes.

Joy?  No.  Erection?  Yes.


No Matter How Cynical I Get, I Can’t Keep Up

February 24, 2015

Well, if you could unhook my jacket from the horns of this dilemma, I’d know whether to be exceptionally happy or weary and watchful.

Anyone can set up a PAC.  You don’t need the candidate to do it.  Ready For Hillary is a PAC.  Whoever owns that PAC did not need Hillary’s permission to use her name.  They collect money that people assume goes to Hillary.  Not all of it does.

The good news is that greedy Republicans are ripping each other off in a grand style and they are using PACs to do it.  

A Republican decided to look at some of their PACs to see if they were actually helping candidates.  Some are, others not so much.  They estimate that $50 million was collected and never spent on campaigns or elections.

For example, nearly $14 million was raised by The National Draft Bend Carson for President PAC.  Of that, only 4%, $530,000 went to actually help Ben Carson or his campaign.

Same deal with SarahPAC.  Sarah only got 7% of the $3 million they raised.

There’s a nifty chart with the rest they looked at.  It’s about half way down this page.

And here’s the scary part:  we probably don’t know the worst of it.

We also found quite a few PACS that made large payments to vendors who were owned by people who worked for the PAC. This certainly can be done for legitimate purposes, but it’s also an easy way to move money around while keeping your donors from seeing what you’re actually doing with it. For example, this is done in some cases to obscure how much people at the PAC are really making. The Senate Conservatives Fund and American Crossroads appear to have done that. However, it can also be a way for PACs to siphon off money. If a PAC officer pays a vendor he owns, he doesn’t have to report what the vendor did with it to the FEC, which means nobody really knows what happens to the money.

Now why would this worry me if Republicans are getting ripped off?

Because it’s likely that it is happening to Democrats, too.

Be real careful who you give your money to.

Thank to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the cynical heads up.