Oh Yeah, Now I feel Better

August 21, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Y’all, Michele Bachmann.  (Cue the creepy background music.)

Advising Donald Trump. (Switch to the theme from Jaws.)

About foreign policy. (Bring on the blood curdling screams.)

Nooooooooooooo.

michele-bachmann-nutsBefore the event, former Minnesota Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said she has been advising Trump on foreign policy and issues of concern to Christian conservatives. She said Trump is right to call for more restrictive immigration policies.

“He also recognizes there is a threat around the world, not just here in Minnesota, of radical Islam,” she said. “I wish our President Obama also understood the threat of radical Islam and took it seriously.”

“Not just here in Minnesota?”  Oh hell yeah, Minnesota is the ground zero for terrorist attacks.

If you vote for Donald Trump, you get the added bonus of Michele Bachmann as Secretary of State.

Oh, by the way, Trump is still refusing to release his 2008 income tax, even thought it is past audit.  You know he’s either not a billionaire like he claims or that he pays no taxes.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

 

I Can Hardly Wait!

August 21, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Stock up on popcorn, Darlin’.

Donald Trump’s new campaign wrecker, Kellyanne Conway, says that the Trump de Résistance of deporting all “illegals” in America is now under review because somebody finally realized that rounding up millions of people, tearing them away from their American-born children and dumping them in  place where they no longer have any connection, might be (1) impossible, and (2) be called the Trail of Tears in the history books.

“So what Donald Trump said yesterday in that meeting … varied little from what he has said publicly,” Conway said. “What he supports is to make sure we enforce the law, that we are respectful of those Americans who are looking for jobs, and that we are fair and humane to those who live among us.”

No, that’s not what he said.  I know.  I heard.

The other point she wanted to make clear is that the Leader of the Whole Damn Republican ticket has “regrets.”

Conway demurred on who specifically Trump was expressing regret to, and said he hasn’t made apology calls to individuals.

“He’s expressed his regret publicly and said, ‘If I have caused you personal pain — that can include me, that can include you’ — that he regrets that,” Conway said.

So, one step up from the Pope, Trump thinks he gets secret universal dispensation from anything he’s ever said that was hurtful.  I hope you noticed that he declined to regret anything he’s ever done.

Phew, that’s over.  Now he can go forth and sin again.

 

He Snuck Out The Backdoor When No One Was Looking

August 19, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

When Ken Starr (of Clinton impeachment fame) first came to Baylor University as chancellor there was enough hoopla to glitter the Texas Capitol.  Yay!  Look at Baylor.  The esteemed Ken Starr is coming to Baptist-up the joint.

USA-STARR-PEPPERDINE-PRESSERThen this happened.  Baylor hired a new football coach and they started winning football games.  Come to find out, they were doing it by recruiting rapists for the team players.  However, they got so excited about winning that they built a $300 million football stadium so they had to cover-up the rapes to keep the team winning to fill the football stadium with something other than burning Baptist dollars.

Then the stadium bonfire got too hot and both Starr and the football coach got fired.

Well, not exactly fired in Starr’s case.  He was moved over to teach at the law school because, you know, you never know if the Baylor Trustees have their own Monica Lewinsky.  So, once they got all the blue dresses in Texas burned …

Ken Starr is leaving the faculty of Baylor University School of Law, three months after a campus sexual assault scandal forced him from university leadership.

Baylor officials announced Friday that Starr is parting ways with the Waco, Texas, law school where he has taught a constitutional law seminar since 2010, and called it a “mutually agreed separation.” They did not cite a reason for Starr’s departure.

You know, Sweet Madam Karma has a way with getting stuff done.  History will remember Ken Starr as the doofus who indicted the President for consensual sex but covered up multiple rapes on a college campus.

Thank you Missy Karma.

 

News From Trump’s Rump

August 19, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

Okay, it’s all over the Internet machine and by gawd, it’s starting to make sense to me.  I guess that classifies me as a conspiracy theorist.

The Atlantic, The New York Times, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair all have the same story.

The theory making the rounds is that Trump’s latest campaign reshuffle isn’t really about trying to win the election. In bringing in Steve Bannon, the executive chairman of Breitbart News, and recruiting Roger Ailes, the disgraced former head of Fox News, as an adviser, Trump is making a business play: he’s laying the groundwork for a new conservative media empire to challenge Fox.

Here’s the deal – when Trump saw he couldn’t win, he went for launching his own news network to the right of FOX. Apparently Hannity, O’Reilly, and other Fox numbskulls will leave Fox to go with Trump News.

The dream of all this is that with Hillary in the White House and a Democratic senate, there will be some angry old white guys who will follow Trump News into the bowels of hell.  Trump can claim he “won” because he’s making money and grinding the country to a halt with Hillary rants 24 hours a day.

I need to go take an aspirin and a nap.

 

Friday Toons

August 19, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

wpnan160816

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tmdsh160815

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wpnan160817

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crmlu160816

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tmdsh160816

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cwjmo160818

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crmlu160817

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Warning: You Cannot Un-See This

August 18, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

A group named INDECLINE, inspired by “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” Hans Christian Andersen’s story about an overly confident leader without clothing, has done something funny.

They have put up 80 pound life-sized statues of Donald Trump all over America.

The group unveiled life-size statues of Trump in the nude Thursday morning in public spaces in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland and Seattle.

 

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You can see the front side here.  But, I probably wouldn’t if I was you.

Of course, cities are taking them down.

The artist, who has a full-time job, said he spent up to 25 hours each week working on the statues since they were commissioned in April. Ginger used 300 pounds of clay and silicone to create the statues and said the candidate’s mouth ended up being his biggest sculpting challenge.

He knew they were going to torn down …

“I don’t expect these things to last more than 30 or 45 minutes,” he added. “But I would love to watch some irate 65-year-old Trump supporter try to take the thing down with his bare hands.”

Yeah, that’s my idea of fun, too.