Oh Rick, Honey, You’re a Mess

April 20, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Rick Perry Bless His Heart.

Y’all, Rick is talking again and it is not a pretty picture.

In explaining how he is different this time, Rick admits that he and “his team” lied.

Perry also acknowledged that he had serious health challenges during the last campaign, even though his team denied them at the time.

And that he was dumber than a sack of hammers.

Rick-perry3“To be prepared, to stand on the stage and talk about this myriad of issues, whether it’s domestic policy, monetary policy or foreign policy, it takes years of intense studies,” the 65-year-old replied. “I spent the last three years in that mode — being able to stand up and discuss all of these issues and do it in a way that is very profound and impactful.”

Yes, he spent three years taking a course called, “Impactful Gettin’ Smart.”  I think he means that he spent three years doing what everybody else did with the rest of their lives.

Rick Perry being profound is something I will pay money to see.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

 

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0 Comments to “Oh Rick, Honey, You’re a Mess”


  1. So that’s what he was doing instead go being governor of Texas? Talk about sleeping at the wheel, he was ” learning”

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  2. I swear, he is the Faux Pas King.

    “It takes years of intense study”–I did it in three.

    And I think he plans to be the last American President:

    “We lived through Jimmy Carter,” Perry said. “We’ll live through Barack Obama. I promise you.”

    Doesn’t that imply that we won’t live through the next one?

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  3. dumber than a box ‘o’ rocks

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  4. Corinne Sabo says:

    Profound for Icky is “laxatives work.”

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  5. Why is it… that I recall that Rick Perry spent the last three years, surrounded by his security team (that the taxpayers paid millions) while he was sashaying all over the country? Actually all over the world.

    Methinks the ex-Gov has selective memory.

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  6. He did a semi-rerun of gruesomely cute & campy (as in the maple syrup incident) in NH last week.

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  7. Aggieland Liz says:

    Profoundly impaired is what Rick-boy is!

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  8. Yes, being dumb and dishonest are serious health challenges. They challenge the health of any endeavor that involves Rick Perry.

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  9. SteveThe Returned says:

    I have a lot of old friends who are conservative. I cannot remember the last time that any one of them had a positive, complementary, supportive thing to say about Rick Perry. They all appear to think he’s as big a loser as I do. Sure, they voted for him—but that doesn’t mean they view him as anything but a has-been embarrassment.

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  10. He still doesn’t get it, does he! Tsk! What a shame!

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  11. coozledad says:

    It’s always morbidly funny to see some jock who slid by on his daddy’s money and sheer stupid luck have it dawn on them they’ve been a waste of oxygen their entire lives.

    This is the first time I’ve seen one of the idiots try and turn it into a positive. Usually they do something like getting drunk and climbing a roadside tree with the Beemer or taking their family hostage.

    Rick’s already way too medicated for that.

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  12. Now, now fellow patrons. Far be it for us Dems, ones preferring to die rather than vote in a GOP primary, to discourage any GOP hopeful from running in the 2016 presidential race. The more candidates, the better. If 16 hopefuls is good in 2015, 32 is even better in spring, 2016. As the Duke of Duval usta say, “Vote early, vote often!”

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  13. Even if I did like him I wouldn’t like him because he can’t use the word “myriad” correctly.

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  14. Steve, I’m wondering why your conservative friends voted for a man they regard as a loser and a has-been embarrassment. Are Texas Democratic candidates that much worse than he is?

    How do we know Ricky doesn’t have serious health issues this time too, other than having earwax for brains?

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  15. Sandridge says:

    If pRick had even a snowballs chance in Hell of getting the Repuke Prez nom, I’d cross over for the primary and check that Perry box.
    Just to help get him into their race, then HRC or Webb could slaughter him.

    And as far as pRicky being “dumber than a box ‘o’ rocks”, be nice to the rocks, they’re far brighter and more complex than him.
    He’s on a par with inert elemental gas atoms, like argon or helium.

    Is he still getting taxpayer paid DPS protection? He sure boondoggled and junketed to the max while warming the guv’s manse (and that private leased one for $12K/mo).
    Sarah Baby, et al., don’t come anywhere close to Perry in the grifter sweeps, also, too.

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  16. daChipster says:

    Here’s the latest from Freakin’ Freddie and the Pearl-handled Frontloaders, a Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes tribute band. As you may know, the Frontloaders feature our cousin Primo Encarnación y Hachecristo as their bass player.

    Cue the hoot owl:

    HOO! HOO!

    This is the story ’bout Ricky P from A&M
    Kinda dim and sorta into men
    Sits around the house, gets drunk and watches porn
    Then goes out and pretends to be reborn

    He headed out tooooo old Austin
    That’s nearly lib’ral as the town of Boston
    He shot a coyote on jog with his gun and
    Swore he’d never be outspent when he’s runnin’
    hoo hoo hoo
    Go on, take the money and run
    Go on, use the money for fun
    Go on, get a paycheck and run
    Go on, PAC the kick backs and run

    Billy Ray is a chief judge in Texas
    You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
    He ain’t gonna let ol’ Rick escape justice
    For defunding the PIU’s taxes
    Rosie Lehmberg, whoa whoa she drove drunk
    But Ricky P is a felonious skunk
    He still thinks he’s gonna get away
    He ran in Oh’12 and he’s still running today
    Singin: go on, take the money and run

    Go on, use the money for fun
    Go on, get a paycheck and run
    Go on, wave your bible and gun
    Go on, PAC the kick backs and run
    Go on, scam the voters and run
    Go on, fleece the donors and run
    Go on, take the money and run

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  17. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    Marvel’s “international Relations Series” comic books. Collect the whole set. Ironman, Thor, Hulk, Putin, Castro, and all the rest of them. I guess Perry would need to take three years to go through them all. Especially when he has to find an adult to explain some of the big words.

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  18. See, the genius of JJ, daChipster, et al. is why I generally don’t contribute anything here. I am too prosaic and pessimisticular for the likes of y’all.

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  19. It’s heartening to see Sarah Palin and Rick Perry are job creators, hiring people to give them Cliff Notes versions of world affairs. Disheartening that those crash course tutors will probably never run out of a job if they just stay close to Republican presidential hopefuls.

    On the bright side, I do look forward to hearing phrases such as “I can see Tijuana from my front porch,” or “I spent the last three years reading all of ’em.”

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  20. UmptyDump says:

    Exactly what health issues? Presidential candidates don’t get to hide behind medical privacy when they are asking the public to judge their fitness for office.

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  21. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Who is being paid to fluff Rick Perry? Counted 18 of those vaulting varmints in NH over the weekend. Whole lot of fluffin’ goin’ on.

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  22. UmptyDump says:

    Okay, I managed to find this article that refers to some back problems. But is that it? What about lately? It’s worth wondering whether some substances abuse issues were involved, painkillers as well as intimations of excessive alcohol during the 2012 primary campaign.

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  23. e platypus onion says:

    Only took him three years to remember to remember three things at once. I guess,in a way,that is major progress for a minor dipstick.

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  24. Cheryl Ann says:

    Oh daChipster you rocked it! Seriously JJ, we need a “like” button on the comments!

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  25. maryelle says:

    I am still hung up on “Bitchin’ Betty and Sequined Backhoes”.
    And a question for daChipster, is Jesus Hachechristo Primo Ecarnacion’s brother?
    Perry, the Accused Felon, pictures himself in the Oval Office and thinks that makes his thoughts profound. I’m guessing he will be the first to bow out due to the shortage of suckers willing to shell out big bucks.

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  26. daChipster says:

    maryelle,

    The name Primo Encarnación y Hachecristo is a patronym/matronym, meaning his daddy is an Encarnación and his mama is one of the many daughters of the patriarch Helton Juan Hachecristo. Most of us think it’s kind of pretentious for Primo to go full-on Spaniard, since there’s more donkey than Don Quixote in the family.

    Jesus is the son of Cristobal, aka “Levon,” Hachecristo, the one branch of the family carrying on the Hachecristo name as a patronym.

    Tia Lucha married Uncle Jimmy Barstool Grobnik.

    Tia Maria, widow of Juan “Tio Bud” Flores, remarried to Uncle Dale Dane, of Wisconsin.

    “‘Melda” (Maria Imelda) would be my mother. She goes by Mary and is the only real person in this story, moreso even than I.

    And Tia Alma would be Primo’s mother.

    There are many other cousins, aunts and uncles waiting in the wings. And nearly 100 years of Hachecristo history in Los Estados Unidos. So loosen your belt and put your feet up; we may be here awhile.

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  27. Mary Beth Hilburn says:

    Please stop libeling us:

    Signed:
    Bag of Hammers
    Rocks, pet or otherwise.

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  28. e platypus onion says:

    daChipster does your Patriarch have the same hair problems as the obvious impostor from England known by a similar name and sings and is infatuated with dead Princess Di?

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  29. daChipster says:

    The Madman Across the Water 😉

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  30. e platypus onion says:

    That’d be the one. Please don’t burst into any of his songs.

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  31. Now Rhea, we all know yellow dog Democrats that would hold their nose and pull the Democratic lever. Heck, my mother is one. Now admittedly, we have far fewer unadulterated losers, but still, I understand the impulse. Perry is an example of the Peters principle on steroids. He reminds me of the good OL days in education when the football coach that went 6-34 in four seasons suddenly became the principal. This one just became governor.

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  32. I thought it was interesting that all those 16 New Hamster Wannabees spent all their time attacking Hillary. They’re going to have to stop that and start attacking each other…last dog standing wins…er, wins the opportunity to lose.

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  33. UmptyDump says:

    There’ll be a lot of blood in the street after all those Republican candidates get done throwing each other under the bus.

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