Not From The Onion

November 14, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You’re not going to believe this.  Wait, you probably will.

 

 

Mitch McConnell was obviously in a coma for the past two years.  Now he’s going to whine. Oh won’t that be charming.

Here’s the original op-ed, published at Fox News.

 

 

Mitch, remember that railroad you built to run us out of government.  You might wanna duck, old man, because it’s coming around.

 

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0 Comments to “Not From The Onion”


  1. Jane & PKM says:

    Don’t look now, Old Scratch, it’s too late. We have two words for you: Merrick Garland, before we even mention your tactics against everything proposed by President Obama before he was inaugurated into office. Pssssssst … btw …. Joni Ernst wants to have a word with you.

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  2. Is there anyone in Washington (besides Trump) who’s more devoid of an actual soul?

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  3. Aggieland Liz says:

    That ugly ol’ mofo is a TRAITOR. No other word for it. He ought to be drawn and quartered and hung by the neck until dead after having his still steaming entrails crammed down his throat.

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  4. @El Jefe
    Yes. EVERY Democrat who rolled over and spread their legs and voted with Cons since 2008.

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  5. “Mitch McConnell was obviously in a coma for the past two years.”

    More like 10 or 20 years

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  6. I hope, very, very much, to someday see McTurtle in front of a committee having to answer just how well he understood the degree of integration between 45’s election campaign and Russia (& Israel?) as related by Intelligence agencies prior to the 2016 elections. His partisanship has endangered our nation for the price of erasing 44’s legacy…

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  7. I would only add that the railroad McConnell, Ryan, and Trump built was designed to run most efficiently when chugging along backward.

    And now McConnell suggests the House of Representatives shouldn’t point out to America, “hey, turn around, look, we’re going in the wrong direction!”

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  8. Susan on the Left Coast says:

    One of the rogue White House staffers posted an image of a document. It was quite juicy so…I kept a copy in a file waiting to see if any of it was coming true. With FOX filing the brief in support of CNN it seems FOX is making it true.

    It also stated that Rupert Murdoch had a meeting with McConnell wherein Murdoch told him that he can “no longer let his company support Trump and his crimes anymore”; discussed Trump’s “base murdering people,” etc. Murdoch “realizes how dangerous Trump is to the country and to his profits” Also…Murdoch wants to distance themselves now because he thinks the Mueller indictments will endanger more people from the violent Trump base.

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  9. Ain’t that just the way someone who has no idea how to govern in the first place would end up saying!

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  10. No, Mitch isn’t being a hypocrite, he’s looking for stupid pundits. Next step is to characterize any actions the Democrats take other than passing ZRepublican bills as “partisan.” Republicans think being bipartisan is when Democrats buy partisan Republican positions.

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  11. I’ve long thought McConnell the most dangerous, soulless individual in the country – more so than Trump. Because, he is intelligent and devious. He knows exactly what he is doing, whereas the narcissist simply reacts to anything he thinks is insulting to him, or supported by Obama. I doubt I can live long enough for the morons that voted this narcissist into office to develop the degree of self awareness that will make them realize the damage done to this nation.

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  12. “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” McConnell

    That’s how bipartisan he is.

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  13. Old Scratch is getting royally chewed for his comment on radio, TV, etc. He just does not make a good whiner that people feel sorry for.

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  14. Keep Pelosi ashcan hoyer replace with Pramila Jayapal (Wa. 7th)
    hoyer is nothing but a scorpion waiting to sting.

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  15. Brad in Dallas says:

    Seems like a big old gnarly middle finger to liberals and a call to GOPers to drop the self-pity and get back to their main job, generating talking points for Fox. With maybe a tinge of “well, POTUS is in a funk so I better fill up the airwaves with something for the slavering dog pack to chew on, can’t let them start thinking for themselves, can we?”

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  16. @maggie #13

    Old Scratch is lower than Rump in one of the polls at Daily Kos. Maybe the reason he hasn’t died yet because the devil doesn’t want competition.

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  17. treehugger says:

    The hypocrisy is stunning. This from the blocker of nearly everything Obama wanted to get done. This from the leader of the group that refused to even talk to the Supreme Court justice nominee Obama put forward. This from the person who actually said his goal in 2008 was to stymie Obama in every way possible. This is so typical of Republicans. Every awful thing they do they try to smear on Democrats. I despise this man. I despise what his party has become. How can sane, thinking people continue to buy all this crap?

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  18. Jane & PKM says:

    There are any number of possible fitting ends for Old Scratch, but his final disposal requires two stages. For the obvious reasons, his carcass should first be given to the notorious RBG for a proper tanning. Then ship any remaining scraps to the WMDBS for ‘beautification’ by any and all means determined by the ladies before burial in a spot where the gentlemen will take care of the watering duties. Send all costs to the fine folks of Kentucky for inflicting him on the rest of us.

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  19. Charles R Phillips says:

    I only made it through the first 3 paragraphs. They were so full of such outrageous lies I couldn’t go any further.

    2020, people. The 2020 elections are when we can push Yurtle McTurtle and Cheeto Jesus to the curb and down the sewer.

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  20. Susan on the Left Coast, can you give us a link to that copied document or otherwise provide it to the website through Juanita Jean?

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  21. Bipartisan unto others as you would have them bipartisan unto you.

    Mitch. You failed.

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  22. Jane & PKM says:

    In other snooze news of the snacilbupeR, Kevin “those Benghazi investigations were about tanking Hillary’s poll numbers; wait did I say that out loud?” McCarthy is their minority leader and daughter of zombie lord Cheney, Liz, is conference chair.

    Party ideas for Lyin’ Ryan’s send off other than beating him over the head after snatching the gavel from his miserable granny snuffing white hands and stuffing his remains into an empty MD 20/20 bottle?

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  23. Diane says:
    Bipartisan unto others as…

    Diane, I think Mitch has one of those tablets too. But on the reverse side it’s carved with “Thou shalt not bipartisan.” That way he’s ready for any eventuality with one quick half spin.

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  24. “I want to live just long enough to be there when they cut your head off and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25_5aBnMHwA

    Babylon 5, the science fiction saga that keeps on giving.

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  25. That Other Jean says:

    Pffffft. The only time ‘Itch McTurtle is looking for bipartisanship is when the GOP is in the minority. When they have all the votes they need for legislation, they’re Republican all the way. None for you, ‘Itch. Not until we undo some of the harm you’ve done.

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  26. Seems like there was an incident where Mitch wouldn’t negotiate directly with Obama but he would deal thru Joe Biden. Telling…

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  27. When I worked on Capitol Hill and Newt Gingrich ran Jim Wright out of Congress over alleged irregularities over a book deal. Tip O’Neil and everyone else understood that what goes around comes around.

    Newt did not understand that. A few years later, Newt was the first Speaker to be sanctioned for ethics violations. He resigned a little after that.

    Seems Republicans remain slow learners.

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  28. Karen Crosby says:

    How about the last 10 years?

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  29. Buttermilk Sky says:

    “Bipartisanship” is like “civility” — they demand it but they never give it.

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  30. I wonder if McTurtle is the “final boss”; the true evil genius of Russia’s ascendance…

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  31. McConnell can change directions in a heartbeat depending on the direction of the wind. He does that with impunity because he has no conscience, no sense of moral duty and a loyalty oath enshrined in three words, “Me, me, me.”

    He and Paul Ryan and little Lindsey Graham have gone with Trump, since they had no other choice, in order to get the richest their tax cuts, promising future pocket money for their own efforts, and for McConnell’s perception of his own legacy with a basket full of mal-qualified judges. Didn’t matter who or what, just get judges named so’s he can be in the history books.

    Worst yet, he doesn’t mind if the world sees his most intolerable conflict: his wife works for Trump and contributes another almost $200K per year to their yearly grocery budget. In return Trump pulls his strings, resting assured the Senate will never be allowed to convict him, if impeached.

    It’s checks and balances at its worst, while Putin smiles off in the distance with the USA being dismantled and unstacked as if it is a child’s lego nation.

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  32. I looked up hypocrites in the dictionary and there was a picture of the entire rthug party

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  33. Susan on the Left Coast says:

    TO: AK Lynn: Will make effort to get image of the document re FOX, Murdoch, McConnell to Susan via the ‘tell Juanita’ link. 🙂

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  34. Am I the only one who gets a blood pressure high when someone infers that this judge must be unbiased ruling against trump since s(he)’s a republican? Same with the FBI, even Mueller and the DOJ, “Look they are all repubs so their opinion of trump must be ok”.

    And re McConnell and his ilk: think of all the advise the repubs have given the Democratic party about not over-reaching against them or the resident now that we have some check on their actions. As a recovering southerner I think Well bless their hearts and continue canvassing, supporting and voting for democracy.

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