Let The Choir Say Amen

March 31, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, you knew it was just a matter of time.

INDIANAPOLIS – Paperwork for the First Church of Cannabis Inc. was filed Thursday – the same day Gov. Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law.

Church founder Bill Levin, who filed paperwork with the Secretary of State’s office to register the church as a non-profit, posted to his Facebook page that church and its “cannataerians” would seek “love, understanding and good health.”

Thelma’s church, Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity, also wants to open a branch in Indiana.  I think it’s semi-important to say that Thelma’s church here used to have a member but then she attended a VFW dance and … well, let’s just say she no longer qualifies for membership.  And Dirt Janochek is a member but hardly qualifies since (1) he ain’t a damn virgin and, (2) not getting laid often enough is not the same as virginity.

Anyway, I wish the folks at the new church in Indiana lots of love, understanding and good health.



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24 Comments to “Let The Choir Say Amen”

  1. Hopefully, the last business/sports team/corporation/ etc., left in Indiana will remember to turn out the lights.and take the brownies with them…… when he/she/it…leaves. 🙂

  2. Takes me back to Lake Woebegone and the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility! I think all that Perpetual Responsibility would have gone down easier with a certain kind of brownie.

  3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    “Free to discriminate” now there’s a real Xtian message from Indiana.

  4. My husband is due back from his tour of Colorado, Washington, and California. I know he is going to want to join this church ASAP….

  5. Y’all have heard of the Pastafarian Church?
    http://pastafarian.org/ aka Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I can see a real hook up (or hookah) in the offing.

    I am proud to be from CO this day, fer sure.

  6. Ole Scout says:

    Just as 4 hours of begging fails to constitute foreplay.

    And to think the NCAA moved from Metcalf Ave & 63rd St in Kansas to In-the-Annapolis.

  7. JJ, Glad you cleared up the mystery of Thelma’s church membership. I had heard she attended Our Mother of Perpetual Guilt.

  8. And the state can’t “substantially burden” the church members’ need to blow weed on a regular basis. I love it.

    Also love the banner.

    Enjoying the spectacle of Indiana politicians saying that we didn’t mean this bill to *discriminate* against anybody, oh no, and if the gov thought it *discriminated* against anybody he wouldn’t have signed it and now they’re gonna *fix* it so it doesn’t sound like it *discriminates* against anybody….

    Isn’t it wonderful what some heavy money companies can do to make pols run scared? At least this once they’re running in the right direction.

  9. Coprolite says:

    I haven’t had any for such a long time I am a “Born again Virgin”. Can I still join Thelma’s church?

  10. Old Mayfly says:

    When my daughter was 8 we passed a church named “The Church of the Immaculate Conception.” My daughter asked what that meant.

    I replied “It means that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was born without sin. But some people get it mixed up and think it refers to the Virgin Birth.”

    She then asked, “What’s the Virgin Birth?”

    “It is the idea,” I said, “that when Mary was pregnant with Jesus, she had never had sex.”

    My 8-year-old thought a moment and then replied, “I don’t buy it.”

  11. e platypus onion says:

    According to the Scotus(at least the activist right wing) a single gubmint form is too substantial a burden for Notre Dame to fill out if they want to get out of paying for birth control,but forcing a poor woman in Texas to find a way to travel several hundred miles,possibly at the risk of losing whatever job she may have and even if she has no money(among other concerns) is not a substantial burden to her to get an otherwise constitutional abortion. Does it seem like wingnuts and their ilk bend over backwards to get religion involved in gubmint? A woman in South Dakota is forced to sit through three days of listening to anti-abortionists try to change her mind and weekends aren’t included in the three day period.

  12. Old Mayfly says:

    e platypus onion: How very well said!

  13. daChipster says:

    I love the concept. Think of all the formerly pagan holidays we can poach back:

    Hash Wednesday
    April 20th: Our Highest Holy Day
    Bent: the period between Hash Wednesday and 4/20
    Nom Kippur: the day of Munchies
    Pass-it-over: Don’t bogart!
    Oh Christmas weed, oh Christmas weed, your branches green delight us!

  14. Corinne Sabo says:

    Maybe we should start a church here….

  15. I think a branch has opened 2 blocks down the street. Expansion construction is going on even as I write this! Whole complex takes up over half a block of frontage on the main drag! There is a steady stream of “worshipers” from all across the country showing up to show their respect and faith! The local ATM machine runs out of cash every few days! So far there have no reports of problems but the sheriff in the county across the state line swears every kid in his territory is a “church member.”

    Hymn of the church:

  16. Turn with me brothers and sisters in the Arlo Hymnal to page 8/15/1969 and sing together “Coming into Los Angeles”.

  17. e platypus onion says:


    One toke over the line,sweet jesus

  18. mb, I hope there’s a grocery next door well stocked with Doritos and chocolate bars. I hear there might be a demand. Not that I would know.

  19. linda phipps says:

    Why do these members of the Church of the Perpetual Victim feel they need to have a law? It’s in the constitution.

  20. @Rhea… No grocery here. Nearest is 13 miles away. All we have is the potporium, a bar, beauty shop (does not even come close TWMDBS), and a BnB with part-time eatery (which is doing a brisk business catering to “religious” pilgrims).

  21. maryelle says:

    Praise the Lord and pass the …uh, brownies, man.

  22. e platypus onion says:

    Good one,Maryelle. If everyone ate those brownies they wouldn’t need Metamucil or other fiber. Gonna chuckle all night over that one. Dang it.

  23. Time to rerun a snippet noted during a pharmaceutical experiment circa 1969…

    unknown voice.. “the, colors, man, … ,”
    Bryan: “D*mn, I think I just ate blue ….”

  24. Marion in Savannah says:

    I’ve been a member of Our Lady of the Perpetual Hissy Fit for years… (Ever been married to a man who can’t close a drawer, a cabinet door, or sometimes even the front door?)