June 19, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
I nominate Melissa McCarthy.
1Maybe his hairstylist? After all, if a party planner can deal with HUD, the press corp should be a piece of cake.
2I nominate the doctor who pronounced trump “the most fit ptresient ever.” Anyone who lies like that with a straight face is perfect.
3BillO, for sure!
4I would rather come outta retirement and return to my old job which involved cutting up dead bodies.
5Can’t be a woman so that lets out the Faux eye candy.
6Muhammad Saeed “Baghdad Bob” al-Sahhaf is available.
7Oh, cmon. Think how much fun you could have during your first and only press conference. I’m fairly sure you wouldn’t have to worry about a second one.
8A perfect fit for Bill O’Lielly. The FauxBot Rethug core baselings would luv it, and he would be a stick in the eyes of everybody else.
9Plus there’s that ‘loyalty’ thing, a similar morphology, and many common traits (Mr. Falafel and Herr Pussygrabber). And of course the whole authoritarian, narcissistic petty tyrant persona.
O’Lielly could open each presser with a hearty “Fock it, we’ll do it live!” too, and flip the WH reporters the bird.
Kellyanne Conjob would be in beotch heaven too, with not one, but two massive assholes running around the joint barking orders. Woof…
I’m surprised they haven’t promoted Sarah Huckabee right into that position. She’s got that “I dunno, I’m just a dumb girl and they don’t tell me anything” shtick down to perfection. And that seems to be one of the better approaches to the job.
The other logical option is Kellyanne. She can bs better than Trump and even speaks in complete sentences. Problem is she’s aged out pretty bad. Not a lumpkin criterion, but certainly a Trump consideration.
10Might have to be an immigrant. Some jobs Americans won’t do (like marry Trump).
11Perhaps the perfect choice would be a Native American or Inuit from a tribe with less than 1000 members, speaking in their native tongue. Then, as with Navajo code talkers, only a select group of people would know what s/he’s talking about.
If there’s any confusion it can always be claimed the real facts were lost in translation. It wouldn’t be that much different than it is now.
12I’d do it in a heartbeat!!!!!! I’m sure I’d last 50, 60, 70-seconds – tops!
13Wot? Y’all are dissing Sarah Huckabee Sandbag. She has her Daddy’s ‘gift’ for speaking infernally long to say nothing. She’s my pick. It would be job security and an easy transition from Sean to Sarah for SNL’s Melissa McCarthy.
For all of you suffering massive migraines and/or walking comas from watching cable news, there is a cure. Tune to the real news offered by SNL, Samantha Bee, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah and the other for real journalists not seen in the white bread 6PM corporate time slots. Some call them comedians, I call them truth tellers. When there’s a clown in the Offal Orifice, who better than a comedian to translate Donnie’s twitter rants and the perfidy of his cabinet?
Or, you can simply walk the dog. What you pick up in those little poop sacks is substantially of higher quality than the nightly news.
14Bill Cosby is looking for a new gig. He could do it in a Fat Albert voice. Actually, Mumbles would probably be better.
A sock puppet would be good. Just have someone operating it from inside the podium – and have a pre-recorded message playing. It’s hard to question a sock puppet.
15Inspired by @Cheryl’s sock puppet comment I offer up the swirl of squirrel presently smeared on the blacktop road near my house. At least I think it’s a squirrel smear. ??
16Cheryl: Sock puppet! Perfect! Talk to the hand!
17Bwahahaha… Aah… good one.