Kasich kinda wants to be… whatever.
By Primo Encarnación
What can we say about John Kasich? He had an undistinguished career in Congress – slowly rising to become Chairman of the Budget Committee, and gutting financial protections on the way – which he tried to parlay into a 2000 Presidential bid, only to drop out before Iowa because even he found himself to be too dull.
So FAUX News gave him a TV show, which was also found to be too dull, including dull stints guest-hosting on the O’Reilly Factor and Hannity & Cardboard both of which, apparently, needed some dullening.
Then he really catapulted into the 1% of dullness, becoming a managing director at Lehman Brothers, where he and the other managing directors managed to direct Lehman into insolvency, thereby precipitating the Great Recession, while bailing out with parachutes made of gold and hungry children’s tears.
But this was all part of Kasich’s plan. In 2010, he ran for Governor of Ohio on the Dullness platform, blaming Democratic Governor Strickland for the unemployment and recession in Ohio which he himself had paved the way for in Congress and launched off the cliff with the other Lehmmings. It being 2010, the off-est year election ever — well, you know the story.
Then he won re-election last off-year claiming credit for the Obama recovery, the way a rooster with very dull plumage claims credit for the bright dawn. And now, he’s considering a run for President because he wants to bring a “blunt” message to America, which if they elect him, fine! If not, “I’ll play more golf.”
Q: What is a synonym for “blunt”?
A: Tim Pawlenty, warmed over.
Golf? Doesn’t he haVe anything else to do but play golf?
1What he lacks with boredom he makes up with slowly turning the state of Ohio into Oklahoma—only slower and a tad bit more covert so no one will throw too many rocks at him.
2Maybe we could send him a gift subscription to a book club. You think he reads?
3Parcheesi, Marge…
4“Blunt” is the description of a knife that is dull. Pretty apt.
5Marge, I thought the same thing as I read the article. He’s got almost a full term as governor left, here, and after his “failure to launch” in another national campaign, is he just going to ignore governing Ohio in favor of beating a few golf balls to death?
Granted, his only job seems to be signing anything the much-more-nutjobier legislature puts in front of him, but, still? Kiss a few hands! Shake a few babies! Do ribbon cuttings at the new weed dispensaries we’re going to open up after the next referendum. Be a greeter at the Scioto Downs Racino.
But I’m onto him: his super-duper secret plan, the one that will let him disappear from view for the rest of his life, is to be just attractive enough to the eventual nominee to tag him for Veep. If he wins, fine! he’ll play more golf. If he loses, fine! he’ll play more golf.
It’ll be like the woman who had two sons: one went to sea, the other became Vice President.
Neither was ever heard from again.
6Did you read the comments on the news article?
7Scary!
Tim Pawlenty! Love it!
8Silly Republicans, the fight over the presidential nomination has just begun and already they’re throwing gohmert punches to become veep. The st00pid runs deep in the Klown Kar. Don’t they know that HRC will never select any of them as a running mate?
JanK, the comments were from an alternate universe, especially that Doc guy fluffing both Ron & Rand Paul. In tribute to the ladies, I think it is spectacular Rand Paul has stumbled out of the gate so badly that his wife is already batting clean-up for the blighter.
9Kasich thinks the big issues are the Federal Debt and Immigration. The mind–she boggles.
Sigh.
10What a self-destructive lineup: this fool (well, not yet, but wait for it), Christie (ditto), Perry (ditto), Palin (ditto), Rubio, Paul, Cruz. I know I’m forgetting someone but there are just so dang many of them….
Y’know, when I make strawberry jam, I’m looking over a few berries at a time, to pick the absolute BEST berries in the quart. GOP, ya got it wrong: Adding more berries to the colander does NOT help you find the best ones in the quart…au contraire (oh jeez, you anti-education lot that is the Right, look it up on Wiktionary).
The more RWNJs in the mix, the more likely the GOP will self-destruct. Bring ’em on. This is ALMOST fun enough to make me forget the serious responsibility that voting is, and consider registering GOP and voting for the looniest of ’em in the primary.
11There’s a cliché about someone “boring you to death”. This guy isn’t a cliché, he’s seriously dangerous.
12One more for the clown car. I love it.
13If I recall, Lehman Brothers were shopping around for someone to buy them and save them from bankruptcy in September 2008. The even tried to get Barkleys in England to bite. On Friday, September 18, Lehman Brothers floated $285 Million in “commercial paper” on Wall Street — a common practice to tide companies over a short time — and then declared bankruptcy on Saturday. It take a bit of doing to file the paperwork to declare bankruptcy, so the Lehman Bros “directors” must have known that they were going to do that when they floated the commercial paper..
14The upshot of this little trick was that Lehman stiffed the folks who normally buy the commercial paper — retirement funds, etc — and the commercial paper business immediately died that Saturday and nobody — nobody — could float a short-term loan anywhere. And that drove the economy to its knees. If John Kasich was a Lehman director and was part of that scam, he deserves a special place in Hell for his actions. He was never punished, but he should have been.
Auntie BFly: You hit on the GOP primary strategy in 2008. My hard core R boss laughingly told me that they would register Democratic in the primary and all vote for Obama, cause he wouldn’t have a chance in heck of becoming president and Hillary would lose the primary. Then they all re-registered as Republican before the general election, setting up a resounding win for McCain. We all know how that worked out.
15It wouldn’t work for the Democrats to do the same ’cause this time all their candidates are CRAZY. How do we pick just one?
maryelle – oh my, you have a point. Maybe we all draw names out of a hat. Or, just wait and see which 4 or 5 are left standing by primary time….maybe then it will be clear who the looniest, most bigoted, most shameful one is. Right now it’s tough to tell, ain’t it?
16Tim Pawlenty. Look at a picture of Tim Pawlenty next to a picture of Gomer Pyle. Tell me if they weren’t separated at birth. (with apologies to Gomer Pyle). Having said that, a part of me almost feels sorry for Pawlenty dropping out of the race so early in 2012.
17Kasich was a visiting “scholar’ at the Bush school.
18The school was looking for some places for him to speak. I was teaching class in Political Science on State and local finance. Since Kasich knew about budgets they asked if he could speak to my class. It did not go well. He started off by telling a sick joke about women. One of my students ask him how he would like it is someone told that joke to his daughters. He was embarrassed. As it turned out most of my students knew more about budgets and finance that he did. They kept him on the defensive the whole time and he freighted he had another appointment and left early.